Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel is a NARCISSISTIC. #adoption reform suffers because of her behaviors!

Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel is a NARCISSITIC. #adoption reform suffers because of her behaviors!

Important information of those that do not know…

Links follow to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book ‘Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ published in 2009, was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011 due to libelous material in it. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’, being her own editor and owner. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and reedited and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

 

Have you ever wonder WHY Joan/Doris does what she does? Of course she is not the only person to be a narcissist. I’m sure you have met many and wondered. Well I found a great book! It not only explores various traits of the behavior but also gives us affirmations to help us deal with them and their behaviors!

Here is my ‘review’ and the link to Amazon.

You and a Narcissist: 100 Mantras for Maintaining YOUR PEACE amid THEIR CHAOS

This is a wonderful resource for, everything you ever wanted to know, about that you already know about, didn’t know how to say that you know it!

This small book is a distillation and compression of major narcissist traits and how to deal with them! Each page is a ‘book’ in its self that explains the chaos of dealing with narcissists, with title, subtitle, story and conclusion, along with affirmation mantras for YOUR peace!

A few topics covered;

With narcissism, there is always more to the story. In their demanding conversational style, narcissists can be as clueless and aggressive as some telemarketers. In their own minds they are always the victim. They must always be considered ‘special’ for one simple reason – they suck at being ‘normal’. What is the truth? Whatever the narcissist wants it to be. They do not use facts. They use propaganda. Narcissists lie all the time. It’s what they do. Narcissists train you to expect pain and to believe it is normal. A narcissist’s approach is to not remove the wounding knife, but rather to twist it. They speak a language of fear and anger. They exist for conflict, not resolution. Narcissists never grow up; their personality is the problem. With a narcissist you are either the ally of the moment or the enemy of all eternity. They stick you with their emotions. It’s intentional. They rage, stomp, throw things, lash out and hit. They play-act at parenting. Narcissists love creating stress before the stressor. Details and context are items to be manipulated. Narcissism is a long, lonely journey, traveling upstream against the principles of the Universe.

Some of the many mantras;

I know the truth. I do not follow the distorted ‘truths’ of others. No matter what anyone attempts to do to hide it, the truth exists. I am only responsible for my own happiness. I am aware of how the actions and words of others impact me. I set the appropriate parameters of my life. All parts of my Being are essential to my sense of wholeness. I need not give up pieces of myself for others. The roles I play in life are of my own choosing and creation. I remove harmful people from my life. I use my intellect, instincts and awareness to observe what is happening before me. I free myself from harmful self-judgment. The present moment is where I experience my power. I am the central character I my own life script. I focus on my life and my happiness. I trust in the Universal principles to support me.

https://www.amazon.com/review/R3ELURSBJEF2HK/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B01M2U1FD9

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crying and whining because she’s adopted! get a grip…get a life…

Joan M Wheeler or Doris M Sippel…she’s adopted and pissed about that! Here’s a link to an older post but still ‘right on’ target with her!

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2014/12/07/adoptees-want-their-voices-heard-flipthescript-but-dont-want-to-hear-about-the-harm-done-to-others-when-blaming-adoption-for-their-ills/

ANOTHER NEW REVIEW, of that garbage book, duped by adoption, by S10 Pete

This is the third #13 review!  Sib Ruth’s review was removed as was mine, via Amazon, because we are ‘not allowed’ to write a review! Then a person, who had a review, deleted it! Perhaps they didn’t want to be associated with the book!

So the total number of reviews and who wrote them keeps shifting around. But hey…isn’t #13 a ‘significant’ number!

Anyway…this NEW review is ‘short and sweet’ as the saying goes, but is NOT very sweet!

A  powerful and yet very sad book, too bad everything is still the same …

By S10 Pete on July 18, 2016

A powerful and yet very sad book, too bad everything is still the same years later. No forgiving going on.

Like I said, short and to the point and so I wrote a larger comment…

Jul 19, 2016 4:32:30 PM PDT

gert mcqueen says:

This book is not ‘powerful’; it’s seething with anger! It’s not ‘sad’; it’s pitiful and spiteful. Yep, it’s still the same, for the author is not interested in forgiving, she wants to tell her tale…so be it! As the author states, on page 366, ‘what I have learned…is to own up to the wrongs I have done, to make amends and to strive to be a better person, unless contact would be destructive to me.’ Ah, but forgiveness does NOT come with a one–way only condition! This book’s very existence is testimony to the fact that the author is not willing to forgive. For forgiveness to happen, she MUST let go of the stone that is dragging her down, and do her own work ON FORGIVING! – ‘There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.’ Hamlet, II, ii

Now let’s see how long it takes for this to become an issue as the last reviewer, Mark, turned out to be. In any event, seems as if this book is beginning to ‘stink’ as more and more people are moving away from Joan and/or don’t have much to say about it.

 

 

very nasty behavioral patterns…some exhibited by ‘duped by adoption’

here’s a great article on learning and understanding behavioral patterns…

 

How do we save humanity? By believing in socialized psychopaths!

this book was previously removed from print due to libel; #1 a discussion topic about Forbidden Family; adoptee Duped by adoption

Found on Amazon’s Customer Discussions

Joan Mary Wheeler forum

http://www.amazon.com/Joan-Mary-Wheeler/e/B00XX0BFC6/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

this book was previously removed from print due to libel

Ruth Pace says:   Initial post: Jan 4, 2016 8:15:35 AM PST

by Trafford Publications because I sent them actual police and court documents that proved that 1. she libeled me in the book. 2. she did not protect my identity – in a footnote she told her readers (all 10 of them) where to find an article she wrote in 1990 that contained my full and true name. 3. She had on the back cover a family photo that was taken a year before she was born. — She signed a contract with Trafford stating that her non-fiction book was the truth, but my documents proved she lied, and the contract also stated that the author holds the sole copyright to the work and all it’s content – how does she hold the sole copyright to a photo that was taken before she was born? Because she violated the contract she signed with them, the publisher pulled it from print.

She also claimed that a lawyer “vetted” the book. No, because she says in the book that my father was a poor uneducated man, however in 1955, he took a job as a civil engineer in the streets paving department of the City of Buffalo, working in City Hall, and had many political persons as personal friends. Joan’s “lawyer” was either a piss-poor vetter, or a figment of Joan’s imagination. Why do I call this lawyer a piss-poor vetter? Because in the downtown public library of Buffalo NY are back issues of Polk’s City Directories – that list my father’s name, address, employer and his job title in the directories from oh, the late 40’s all onto the 2000’s.

Ruth Pace says:  Posted on Jan 6, 2016 4:12:11 AM PST

an inconvenient truth.
I have in my possession a 1999 manuscript of this book. There are differences in that and in the final (?) product. She used to show parts of her writings to my father, he told me “it will never be finished, because she keeps “revising” it.

After the 2009 print version of it was pulled from publication in May 2011 because it was proved to the publisher that the author had committed libel in it, she announced a second edition would be forthcoming. The 2009 version was touted as a “truthful account” of her adoption. When I learned she would be putting out a second edition, I said “how can there be a second version of the truth?”

Now we all know that there isn’t a second version of the truth, but the author managed to skate around that by calling the newer versions “a memoir” so she can fall back on the excuse “It was how I remembered it.” – But how can a remembered version in 2015 be so different from the 2009 version that had been insisted on as being the “truth.”

Ruth Pace says:  Posted on Feb 7, 2016 10:09:42 AM PST

If readers of her book (whatever version they have) would take the time to really LOOK at what they’re reading – every other page is Brenda this, Brenda that.

Readers need to ask themselves “is this a book about Joan Wheeler’s life or is about BRENDA’S LIFE? My god, she’s got whole passages devoted to Brenda’s marriages, her belly dancing, her liking horror movies, and other things about Brenda that have NOTHING to do with the author’s adoption, adoption reunion, or adoption reform issues.

gert mcqueen says:  Mar 1, 2016 4:50:06 AM PST

The author is NOT a Late Discovery Adoptee!

I first questioned and commented on the author’s claim that she is a late discovery adoptee, on an Amazon discussion topic of Jan 2, 2016. After that the author re-worked her boiler-plate propaganda, still claiming and declaring that she is a late discovery adoptee. Then I addressed that rework a second time, on an Amazon discussion topic of Feb 7, 2016.

This is the third time I’m addressing this point. The author is NOT a Late Discovery Adoptee!

On Feb 27, 2016, I asked an adoptee, on Tweeter this question … what is the definition of a late discovery adoptee? I was told this… A somewhat standard definition would be: If you didn’t know you were an Adoptee until you were an adult.

Okay that definition is what I found in my own RESEARCH of the term. No matter how the author wishes to present it, the fact is she KNEW, she states so in this book, that she KNEW she was adopted from her earliest years! She is NOT a Late Discovery Adoptee! So one must wonder WHY does she have to fabricate something about her status as an adoptee? Such nonsense only points to the lack of credibility of the entirety of the contents of the book.

Ruth Pace says:  Posted on Mar 1, 2016 8:20:53 PM PST

She says in her book that she had been told by her adoptive parents AS A CHILD that she was adopted. And when we were reunited with her, she did tell us, her birth sisters that she had known since she was a CHILD that she was adopted. Therefore, yes, you are correct, Joan Mary Wheeler is NOT a ‘late discovery’ adoptee.

Either she is a blatant liar, or she does not know the correct terminology of adoptees. Since she keeps bragging that she is one of ‘the’ most informed adoption activists that ever was born, Joan Mary Wheeler now has egg on her face.

 

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how not to promote the subjects of your book

There’s plenty of ‘background’ on how Joan feels and thinks about her birth family. The following post contains links to post wherein I detail everything she wrote on that hate-blog against us.

This is not the way to promote one’s book.

the link

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2012/10/01/taking-a-look-at-joan-wheelers-cyberbulliesstalkers-blog/

Joan M Wheeler is NOT a ‘Late Discovery Adoptee’! She always KNEW she was adopted!

Joan is a spin-doctor; lying through her teeth! She keeps trying to ‘fit in’ in places she doesn’t belong. She has even tried to pass herself off as a trans-racial adoptee! Nope, she is NOT a trans-racial adoptee! She is just a plain old adoptee from the ‘closed’ records system.

So what else is new? Same old, same old! Problem is that her fellow adoptees NEVER call her on her lies and fabrications. Probably many don’t really READ what Joan writes, for, for the most part, they are all of the same ‘mind-set’ against adoption and believe Joan’s assessment that her birth siblings are damaged goods.

I have been pointing out, via the blogs and the Facebook page (Duped by Adoption)  https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoption1/     that Joan has a long history of sucking up to various adoptee activists, working on their coat tails and hanging on their sleeves, and declaring and designating aspects of adoption that just don’t belong to her.

Since she has ‘self-published’ the latest lying garbage, her boilerplate stuff on Amazon has been exposed, by me, and rewritten, by her, SEVERAL TIMES. Each time I’ve pointed out something, she reworks the language to ‘cover’ up what I UNCOVERED; that’s called ‘spin-doctoring’.

Here, in particular, I wish to address the issue of what a Late Discovery Adoptee means and is.

It means that a person did NOT know they were adopted until they were an adult. In other words, during their childhood the FACT that they were adopted was NEVER told to them. This is a vastly different thing from a person being told ALL of their lives that they are adopted!

In Joan’s boiler plate, on Amazon, she is calling herself a ‘late discovery adoptee’. Her first go-round at passing this off, she stated that because she was 18 before she KNEW her birth family MAKES her a Late Discovery Adoptee. Well that’s not correct! I wrote a discussion topic, on Amazon, about that. A month later Joan rewrote and made a DECLARATION statement that she IS a Late Discovery Adoptee. She is WRONG, no matter how she spins the words!

On February 27, 2016 I saw a tweet, asked for a definition, got it, gave a thank you and got a like! Great!

Cryptic Omega ‏@TheCrypticOmega 

Are you a Late Discovery Adoptee? Here’s an #AdopteeSurvey for you, by an Adoptee for Adoptees: https://crypticomega.typeform.com/to/OUR7RM  #adoptee #adoption

gert mcqueen ‏@gertmcqueen 

.@TheCrypticOmega what is the definition of a late discovery adoptee?

4:55 PM – 27 Feb 2016

Cryptic Omega ‏@TheCrypticOmega 

@gertmcqueen A somewhat standard definition would be: If you didn’t know you were an Adoptee until you were an adult.

gert mcqueen‏@gertmcqueen

.@TheCrypticOmega thanks

To which she ‘liked’ my tweet!

^^^^

Well…there you have a definition DIRECTLY from an adoptee, who is NOT Joan M Wheeler.

Now take a look at how Joan first wrote about this, my comment and then how she CHANGED her statement, hoping to by-pass any further discussion.

I first addressed this point on Amazon discussion Jan 2, 2016 1:18:44 PM PST

Permalink… http://www.amazon.com/changes-whats-about-author-sections/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/Tx1VP7X0PT8Y5F/1/ref=cm_cd_et_md_pl?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW&cdMsgID=Mx27ASRRTFSLKPC&cdMsgNo=1&cdSort=oldest#Mx27ASRRTFSLKPC

Author writes:

Joan is a displaced and resettled person by adoption. Raised as an only child, she knew she was adopted, but did not know the full truth. The shock of being found and reunited with her siblings and father after an 18 year separation makes her a Late Discovery Adoptee.

My comments:

Ah yes, the author is a late discovery adoptee, except, and I could be mistaken, but I thought that a late discovery meant that the individual NEVER knew they were adopted until later. And if we LOOK at the way the author states this she is attempting to get around this little known aspect. The author states, knew she was adopted, but did not know the full truth and so the shock of being found and reunited makes her a late discovery adoptee.
Upon researching the term I find these two definitions; The term “late discovery adoptee” refers to those who learn they are adopted once they are adults. And Late discovery adoption refers to a person learning in adulthood that they were adopted as children. Those of us who discovered their adoption status as adults are sometimes called late discovery adoptees, or LDAs, though not everyone embraces this label.

But like I said I could be mistaken, but seems to me the author is spinning yet another tall-tale that isn’t quite true.

^^^

And here is the second time I discussed this point, on Amazon, Feb 7, 2016 9:39:32 AM PST

Permalink     http://www.amazon.com/author-again-rewritten-boiler-plate-material/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/Tx1LSFI26XC5KDT/1/ref=cm_cd_et_md_pl?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW&cdMsgID=Mx1JLNS4BQCW35X&cdMsgNo=1&cdSort=oldest#Mx1JLNS4BQCW35X

Author writes:

Joan is a displaced and resettled person by adoption. She is a Late Discovery Adoptee, a half-orphan in her actual family,a legitimate bastard in her adoptive family, and the victim of government mandated identity theft and reassignment.

My comment…

The author clearly is NOT a Late Discovery Adoptee. She knew from early childhood that she was adopted. A Late Discovery Adoptee is one who finds out they are adopted when they ARE AN ADULT. The author is side-stepping this issue, co-opting the term to gain additional support, and intentionally stating a falsehood.

^^^^

Let’s look again at the definition that Cryptic Omega gave me….

‘A somewhat standard definition would be:

If you didn’t know you were an Adoptee until you were an adult.

^^^^

Joan M Wheeler KNEW she was adopted from her earliest years! She’s a spin-doctor, a con-artist and a liar!

She is no Late Discovery Adoptee

AND here is the permalink to my third attempt at pointing this out…

http://www.amazon.com/author-NOT-Late-Discovery-Adoptee/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/Tx6VSWXV1GAX18/1/ref=cm_cd_et_md_pl?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW&cdMsgID=Mx2U4Q61DJ8KZAY&cdMsgNo=1&cdSort=oldest#Mx2U4Q61DJ8KZAY

As a comment to my Amazon comment
Ruth Pace says:

She says in her book that she had been told by her adoptive parents AS A CHILD that she was adopted. And when we were reunited with her, she did tell us, her birth sisters that she had known since she was a CHILD that she was adopted. Therefore, yes, you are correct, Joan Mary Wheeler is NOT a ‘late discovery’ adoptee.
Either she is a blatant liar, or she does not know the correct terminology of adoptees. Since she keeps bragging that she is one of ‘the’ most informed adoption activists that ever was born, Joan Mary Wheeler now has egg on her face.

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