Joan M Wheeler should not be her own publicist! Her constant rewrites and piecemeal promotions are not consistent! Bad PR work as well as lying!

She cannot remember what she wrote, when she wrote it and apparently doesn’t care that there are many inconsistencies in her PR campaigns, let alone within the book(s). In this new revision, ‘duped by adoption’, on Kindle and printed versions, besides the many old, and now new lies, against two families, we find some significant ‘additions’ and ‘omissions’.

On the book’s Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/Forbidden-Family-358715425479/ and on Amazon, in two places, one called ‘biography’, the other called ‘about the author’ (under editorial reviews) and in the book itself. They are three different versions of her ‘bio’!

In the book the first paragraph, of her bio, isn’t even there! I can only guess, of course, about that. Knowing Joan as I do, she uses her propaganda to ‘grab’ people’s attention and then reels them in. Once she has them ‘caught and netted’ (book purchased) she doesn’t need that inflammatory propaganda.

To begin…here is her biography/about the author. After which will be some of my own commentaries, that I could not place on Amazon, and then what I did placed on Amazon as a discussion topic. here is the link to that discussion topic

http://www.amazon.com/about-the-author-and-biography/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/TxU3Z2WEE6OKCO/1/ref=cm_cd_et_md_pl?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW&cdMsgID=Mx3MC6S24I30Z0A&cdMsgNo=1&cdSort=oldest#Mx3MC6S24I30Z0A

Joan’s words in italic

Joan Mary Wheeler is an American adoptee and author fighting for the freedom of 7 to 10 million American adoptees and donor-conceived people. She is a displaced and resettled person by adoption, a reunited adoptee since 1974, an adoptees’ rights activist and adoption abolitionist promoting family preservation, kinship care, then guardianship over adoption. Domestically-born and adopted, she was born legitimately as Doris Michol Sippel in 1956 and half-orphaned at age three months when her mother died.

Since 1975, her articles on adoptees’ civil and human rights have been published in The Buffalo News (since 1976) and The Erie Daily Times (1975 – 1976). Joan contributed to the publication of the United States Congressional Record, Foster Care and Adoption Assistance Program (1985). Her autobiographical article “Dual Identity” appeared in Common Ground: WNY Women’s Newsjournal, Buffalo, New York (1985). A revised version, “The Secret is Out,” was published in Adoption and Fostering: Journal of the British Agencies for Adoption and Fostering (1990), and a Dutch translation was included in the book Kind van Andere Ouders (Child of Other Parents), The Netherlands (1991). Joan contributed to the New South Wales Law Reform Commission’s publication Report 69: Review of the Adoption Information Act 1990, Australia (1992). She presented a paper entitled “Adoptees and Children of Reproductive Technologies” to The President’s Council on Bioethics, Washington, D.C. (2004). A collection of her poems was published in Over Coffee: The Northside Writers Anthology, Snyder, New York (2012). 

Joan has been interviewed on radio and television in the United States, Canada, and England.

Joan worked as a hospital social worker with head trauma patients, homeless services, crisis counseling, and suicide prevention.

She received a Bachelor of Arts from Mercyhurst College in Erie, Pennsylvania (1978) and a Bachelor of Science in Social Work from State University of New York College at Buffalo, graduating Cum Laude (1999). She resides in Buffalo, New York, USA.

End of Joan’s bio.

Now, it must be remembered that a person cannot really catch each and every addition or omission or sleight of hand that Joan does; for her constant rewrites makes it almost impossible to spot them. But the birth siblings have enough, more than enough, reasons, and ability, to spot a new lie or fabrication, and point them out.

With no particular reference as such, here are some passing thoughts…

Joan’s MO is NOT to educate or reform but to argue, browbeat and intimidate those that CHOSE to adopt. She did it to me, in 1980/81, when I and second husband adopted my son. She violated my parental rights, because to her adoption is an evil. She said I was HARMING my children. Her violation of my family’s rights was the reason I ‘divorced’ her and for that she continues to harm me within the pages of her libelous story and everywhere!

This type of behavior does NOT win anyone to her side of an argument. She complains that I did not listen to her. I did! Then I told her to butt out of my business. I then proceeded to do what was RIGHT for me and my family; adopt. Joan punished me with false child abuse reports, twice!

For Joan to state that she is a ‘fighter for freedom and rights’ of one group of people and then condemn and ridicule another group of people only shows her anger and frustration at being adopted and her powerlessness to stop others from adopting. Because Joan is so convinced of her arguments against adoption she is totally oblivious to the utter nonsense that she writes/speaks. She is a true believer in her cause; that is a very dangerous person.

She does have a wild imagination! She has delusions of grandeur and missed place self-importance thinking. How can she compare adoption with refugees and nations of people that have been displaced? Adoptees are NOT a race or a nation.

Here’s another example of how she misrepresents her self-importance. She says…‘She presented a paper entitled “Adoptees and Children of Reproductive Technologies” to The President’s Council on Bioethics, Washington, D.C. (2004).’

Well not really! I researched that and found the truth of the matter. She gave a statement at a public comment session and NOTHING was done about her ‘comments’. I wrote about it; see this link…

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2013/05/02/to-make-herself-look-like-an-important-activist-joan-wheeler-misrepresents-issues-to-the-bioethics-council/

Other forms of changes and descriptions occur from one edition to the next such as…

From page 645 of the first libelous edition of 2009, where she lists her ‘jobs’ to what she has in the new edition; many are gone or altered. In the first book she listed elder care (that would be her being primary care-giver for her adopted mother and an occasional ‘volunteer’ to help with birth father) until he ‘kicked’ her out after being abused by her.

Youth program development (that would be that position of ‘driver’ she had for a season). I know! She had a short time job ‘driving’ juveniles to and from their appointments. She was a driver and had NOTHING to do with ‘program development’.

She used her contacts there, at that social-services office, to report abuse on me because I was in the process of adoption which she did not want me to do. When I told her to butt out, she didn’t. I refused her contact with my minor children. She then went behind my back telling my children they did NOT have to listen to me. She ‘deemed’ that I and husband were ABUSING my children and we needed to be punished so she called that second abuse report on me. I was exonerated! I still have the court documents that proved that I never abused my children!

What she writes in those books and elsewhere about me and my family are TOTALLY WRONG. It is strictly from her diseased mind that she fabricates ‘what happened’. She violated the sacred bonds between parent and child, because she has a sick understanding of that bond. What Joan did to MY CHILDREN is nothing short of KIN-KILLING, of reputation and privies of CHILDREN who had NOTHING to do with Joan’s life or adoption! I shall never forget nor forgive what Joan M Wheeler did to me and family!

homeless services, crisis counseling, and suicide prevention

She VOLUNTEERED on a ‘crisis hot-line’. Certainly such volunteering would give a person some ‘insights’ but it is NOT the same as saying she had A JOB in that field. I volunteer for Hospice, had training, have continuing training, but that does NOT make me a fully knowledgeable person in the field of HOSPICE care.

‘hospital social worker with head trauma patients’  That type of position would require specialized medical training.

Joan has NEVER WORK as a social worker. If she did she would list the employer. I worked for the VA in Buffalo NY and DOD in Fort Drum NY; I can prove my employment, Joan can NOT, that is why she does NOT list the employers.

She is disabled and been living on NY State Disability for many years.

I would REQUEST that she provide ‘where’ she received the additional training to work in a hospital with head trauma patients (a social worker degree would NOT be sufficient). Joan is very good at ‘resume padding’. In the real world she would be called on these ‘bare-bones’ jobs and experiences she claims.

In the 2009 publication of her first libelous book, she called herself an adoption activist and reformer. Now, in this 2015 self-published libelous book, she is an ABOLITIONIST. The only thing that is acceptable to her is the total elimination of adoption from the planet

There is always NOW going to be a difficulty in knowing for a ‘fact’ where and what Joan has said, in the Kindle editions. I do mean plural here, for she has already UPDATED the e-book, including removing 4 chapters and footnotes. Part of this ‘boiler plate’ nonsense is from (location 8237 to 8256) of the Kindle version. But now it is on location 6956.

On page 645 from the first libelous edition of 2009, pulled from publication via the publisher Trafford Publishers in 2011 has a ‘about the author’. This first book was entitled: Forbidden Family; A half orphan’s account of her adoption, reunion and social activism. With a Foreword by Prof. Dr. Rene Hoksbergen.

This book is ‘out of print’ and ‘unavailable’, since May 2011, because the publisher will NOT reproduce it, as they determined that Joan VIOLATED their contract. You can find details of the book, reviews and comments, via Amazon. Here is the link:

Forbidden Family    Nov 23, 2009  by Joan M. Wheeler Currently unavailable

The kindle version has a completely different title and her name, as author now is, Joan Mary Wheeler. She removed her ‘birth’ name, from the front cover and the ‘family’ picture on the back cover, due to our, the birth family’s objections (via our blogs). BUT, within the pages of this new version, Joan gives full disclosure of our family names and heritages, places of residences and photos as well as where to ‘find’ and ‘view’ the family photo!

By doing these things, she expects people NOT to know of and/or find her previous libelous book. But rest assured, just google the title or go to that Amazon link and you will find it.

A very important note, of interest here, is to be mindful that many changes from the first book to this new revised book are what Joan found on her sisters’ (Gert, Ruth and Kathy) blogs and other comments, on many news sites/articles where we have spoken out about her. We know this because Joan, and her gang of thugs (angry adoptees who hate adoption and believe in Joan’s lies about us), have read our blogs since the beginning. We have noted her errors and given the correct information, over and over again.

There are whole BLOCKS of rewritten aspects of her ‘true’ story, from one book to the other, and in many places where rewrites are slanted to ‘prove’ her position against what the family has said about the first book. This proves, to those of us that KNOW the truth, that Joan is still doing the same old, same old, bullshit con-artist games.

We have found ‘significant’ changes that Joan FOUND on our blogs and where she incorporated them. A small example would be Joan’s use of the word ZERO, when describing the LACK of social-services in 1956. It was, and is RUTH, who used the word ZERO, many times. Joan stole it; it is not her first choice of word, wasn’t in the first book but it is in her revision! We have seen this many times BEFORE the second book was published. Joan, in discussions, that we blogged about, would use ‘word for word’ what we said on our blogs! She has limited imagination and is a copier.

This observation have lead us (the birth sisters) to the assertion that what Joan writes is HER UNDERSTANDING and not necessarily the truth; she will not deviate much from her view point, that adoption is an evil, but she lies about everyone and everything and event. A Trafford Publishing House representative, that I spoke with, during their investigation of her book, said to me that he told Joan ‘to write a book your sisters would like’…well she didn’t because she can’t!

And finally here is what I placed on a discussion topic on Amazon

Discussion topic…. title  ‘about the author and biography’

Let us discuss what the author puts forth here, on Amazon, in two places, one is called ‘biography’, the other is called ‘about the author’ (under editorial reviews).

‘adoptee and author fighting for the freedom’ …WOW I’m impressed! She’s a freedom fighter! Not! She doesn’t fight for anyone’s freedom! She fights to rid the world of adoption! A person cannot claim to fight for freedom, of one group, while oppressing other groups.

‘She is a displaced and resettled person by adoption’…WOW! I even more impressed! Where does she get her ‘play book’ from? Displaced and resettled?! Double WOW! I’ve seen this elsewhere, oh yes, in those last chapters of this ‘revised’ book that she deleted, where she demands RESTITUTION from the government, for being an adoptee! And it is on page 566, of the first ‘true account’; ‘I demand restitution for my life as a person duped by adoption’. Guess where she got the title of this new and improved book?

Regardless of what the author says, adoptees are NOT considered to be a race or nation that have been displaced and resettled, nor are they entitled to restitution. As long as the institution of adoption exists there cannot be any restitution!

‘half-orphaned at age three months when her mother died’ … using the author’s definition the other four children became half-orphaned, as well, when their mother died! She is NOT the only one who ever was a ‘half-orphan’, only difference is she was placed into adoption, that doesn’t make her unique. Here we see that change in her age. In the ‘what’s in the book’ section, (on the very same page on Amazon), the author states she was ‘age four months’, here is was three months. Not being consistent with even one thing can lead people to doubt the author.

‘an adoptees’ rights activist and adoption abolitionist promoting family preservation, kinship care, then guardianship over adoption’

The author gives no suggestions as to how to handle the millions of children, for numerous reasons, that are unable to take advantage of ‘family preservation, kinship care, then guardianship’. This abolitionist position is not only unattainable, it is Utopian; in the worlds of human there is never any Utopian society.

“A revised version, “The Secret is Out,” was published in Adoption and Fostering: Journal of the British Agencies for Adoption and Fostering (1990), and a Dutch translation was included in the book Kind van Andere Ouders (Child of Other Parents), The Netherlands (1991)” 

This ‘revised version’ contained real names of family members. It was cited on Page 634 footnote #15 in yet another ‘revised version’, her first ‘book’, ‘Forbidden Family; A half orphan’s account of her adoption, reunion and social activism’.

It is very interesting that this first book is NOT mention, here, or inside the pages of this current ‘revised version’. There is a very real valid reason for that. The book can be found on Amazon including book cover, and comments, here is the listing;

Forbidden Family    Nov 23, 2009  by Joan M. Wheeler Currently unavailable

Joan worked as a hospital social worker with head trauma patients, homeless services, crisis counseling, and suicide prevention.

This looks like ‘resume padding’. In the real world she would be called on these ‘bare-bones’ jobs, experiences and be asked to provide references. The Facebook page, for this book, says the author has been self-employed since 1975. Does that mean these jobs were not jobs at all? There’s that lack of consistency again.

She received a Bachelor of Arts from Mercyhurst College in Erie, Pennsylvania (1978) and a Bachelor of Science in Social Work from State University of New York College at Buffalo, graduating Cum Laude (1999). She resides in Buffalo, New York, USA.

The author’s education was paid for by the adoptive parents. She and her children lived with her adopted mother most of the author’s life who still lives in the ‘inherited’ house. She does not live in Buffalo NY. Having a ‘degree’ in something is NOT the same as having a job in that field.

Inside this book it states. ‘2nd Edition Portions previously copyrighted and published 1981, 1990, 2009’ and ‘Published by Identity Press, Buffalo NY’

Identity Press is owned and operated by the author, therefore this book is self-published. The 1990 version had the real names of family members in it. The 2009 version was pulled from publication by the publisher, Trafford Publications in 2011.

end

Doesn’t Rene Hoksbergen have anything better to do, in his retirement, than to continue to USE Joan M Wheeler’s families as whipping posts in a NEW forward?

Or has Joan used him, again? One never really knows with Joan because she is a sneaky con-artist who is always rewriting her life story, which includes me and mine!

When the e-book, titled, Forbidden Family, My Life as an Adoptee, Duped by Adoption, was first put out, May 2015, and I when I purchased it in June 2015, it stated and still states ….  Rene Hoksbergen (Editor), Michael Allen Potter (Editor) I would guess that Joan will NOT be able to change what Amazon has placed there!

Inside the e-book, at Kindle Location 28, it states, ‘Formatting for Kindle: Michael Allen Potter’

That is misleading for he is NOT an editor; he just formatted the text into a kindle language.

And at location 8200, which is now GONE, as Joan removed four chapters, the location is now 6919 and it states, ‘I express my gratitude to the many editors who have helped me shape this book: Dr Rene Hoksbergen, Michael Allen Potter…’

The first book, that she wrote which was pulled from publication by the publisher, was titled ‘Forbidden Family; A half orphan’s account of her adoption, reunion and social activism. Foreword by Prof. Dr. Rene Hoksbergen.’

But NOW the updated second book, done in August, has an UPDATED forward by Hoksbergen, even as he is listed as editor. Was it really rewritten by Hoksbergen or by Joan? Let’s look at this more closely.

It should be remember that he NEVER saw a copy of the manuscript after the date of 2006; 4 years before the first book was published!! Also the birth sisters exposed many professional errors that the Doctor did for Joan.

So the QUESTION to ask is…how can Prof. Dr. Rene Hoksbergen be DEMOTED from the high place of writing a forward in the first edition to just an editor in the second? I believe that once Joan decided to update the e-book in August, to remove 4 chapters, because I exposed certain points in them, she also decided to ADD the forward – but she had to rewrite it first.

Adding a whole new paragraph, changing a word here and there, taking out whole sentences and combining two paragraphs and presto…there’s a NEW FORWARD and a new DATE of 2015! She is a first class con-artist!

But going on the ‘premise’ that this was written by Hoksbergen my initial thoughts were with him in mind, for this blog post and so my thoughts were…

Why does he again have to write a ‘forward’ to a garbage book that has already has been proved to continue libelous materials? Why does he have to use all that ‘gobblely gook’ language and thoughts that ONLY academia pompous has-beens use? To make him, and Joan, appear to have ‘something’ important to say that others will be ‘impressed’ with. It’s just a show behind the curtain! Pay no attention to these great and wonderful wizards of adoption!

Why does he have to engage in quasi-science? Quasi means ‘having a likeness to something’. What he, and Joan, are presenting may have ‘a likeness to something’ (their position) but their position is faulty to begin with. As a man of ‘letters’ he should KNOW better than to exploit two families without their permissions. Using the birth and adoptive families, as he does, solely on Joan’s recollections, retellings and fabrications, he has his AGENDA at the permanent expense of GENERATIONS of people that have NOTHING to do with adoption, its faults or its reform! These two families were NEVER interviewed by Rene Hoksbergen and after being informed years ago, he continues to do the same exploitations. Shame on him!

But then I looked at BOTH forwards and noted the changes. So NOW let’s look at this new forward and ask ourselves, did Joan rewrite this or did Hoksbergen? The first paragraph is totally new and is very much Joan!

The first forward had 3 paragraphs; the second forward has 4 paragraphs. In order to show how the forward changed from the first publication and the second I use these notations;

What is totally new in second one… (a) and underlined

What was changed from the first… (b) and underlined

What was taken out of the first…(c) and underlined

underlined The recently updated forward in the e-book, as of August 2015.

Paragraph 1 (new…(a)

Being surrendered for adoption, for the adoptee means the start of a lifelong process to arrive at an understanding and acceptance of so important fact of his or her life. In the meanwhile all involved in the adoption field have to realize that because basic societal phenomena change over time, it has to be accepted that the meaning over adoption also is likely to change. For the adoptee this means that for instance the searching process and reunion event may have changed over time in their meaning and consequence for the concerning adoptee.

 

Paragraph 2, (changed… (b) ‘Life stories’ ‘but none’  ‘has’ and the words reunion and search are NOW in bold.

A life story of an adoptee can be very compelling. This is definitely the case with Joan Wheeler’s account. Her life story differs a lot from other stories in nonfiction books about adoption. The main reason why her report is so important is because her Forbidden Family is the first book to focus on the ‘reunion in progress’. Many books have given us a rather complete description of all the feelings and facts involved with the ‘search in progress’. Up until now, the adoption literature has given us brief accounts of reunion and post-reunion experiences, but only a few so far have focused on all the effects of the post-reunion. In Joan’s account, the effects are shown on the adoptive parents, the original father, all siblings involved and also on other relatives and acquaintances further up in the social surrounding of Joan Wheeler born Doris Sippel and her two pairs of parents.

 

Paragraph 3, taken out…(c) and underlined    changed… (b) and underlined

Joan has been able to show us the seemingly weak position of an adoptee in the US of A. By the end of the well-written history of her life one has the feeling that there is a chance for every ‘found adoptee’ to be judged harshly and shunned by her adoptive family and not be to become fully accepted by all her ‘new’ relatives, unless she fulfills the cultural role she is expected to fulfil. This role is to be a grateful and dependent person who is always very concerned with the feelings of all relatives involved.

taken out…(c) ‘Joan has also shown us that deeply-engrained beliefs can hold certain families together while tearing others apart. By careful dissection, Joan has illustrated how the implicit public perception that adoptees are not wanted by the parent who has surrendered the child, is not true. She has also demonstrated that not all adoptees originate from ‘illicit’ unmarried sex, and that those distorted perceptions carry damaging prejudice.’

 

Paragraph 4, taken out…(c) and underlined    changed… (b) and underlined

Joan Wheeler has confronted us with basic questions about family life and the complex problems where two families are inextricably bound together by adoption. Her account is also a strong testimony against the system of closed adoption. She has shown that this adoption policy definitely was not in her ‘best interests’. For the biggest part, however, Joan’s account is a complex, intense and very relevant description or better analysis of adoption life in our culture.

(the original sentence was…Joan’s account is a true description: and intense and intimate analysis of adoption life in our culture.) *** note that ‘true description’ has been REMOVED.

She gives a detailed examination of opinions and emotions of adoptive parents, natural parents, and their children in the USA during the last decades of the 20th century and the beginning years of the 21st century.

Dr. Rene Hoksbergen, Professor Emeritus, Coordinator, Adoption Department, University of Utrecht, The Netherlands. June 1 st 2015   

Original date of the forward was August 8, 2006

Also of significant note, years ago, on her first book, which is still is listed on Amazon, she posted, in her own author’s boilerplate, a ‘review’ by Hoksbergen that was written for a Netherlands publication; that piece was not in the book she wrote. She just used it for her own propaganda.

NOW take a look at the discussion on Amazon that I placed about this forward. There has only been, to date, one reply and they didn’t TOUCH on the first paragraph. I find that very telling, for it proves to me that that first paragraph was written by Joan.

http://www.amazon.com/about-the-FORWARD-/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/Tx2ACMKSGGGG4SV/1/ref=cm_cd_dp_tp_cq?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW&cdSort=oldest#Mx16G15LCZTNM4X

Here are links to blog posts where Ruth and I have addressed Hoksbergen

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/09/20/joan-wheeler-lies-about-dr-rene-hoksbergen-in-her-book-forbidden-family/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2010/10/14/open-letter-to-professor-rene-hoksbergen-and-rebuttal-of-his-%E2%80%9Cprofessional%E2%80%9D-review-of-forbidden-family-by-joan-wheeler/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/05/14/our-second-success-in-recovering-our-lives-from-the-many-lies-told-by-joan-m-wheeler-in-her-trashy-book-forbidden-family-college-professors-are-now-agreeing-with-us/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/05/16/emails-from-willem-koops-former-colleague-of-retired-professor-rene-hoksbergen-palsie-walsie-of-joan-wheeler/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/gert-mcqueens-review-of-rene-hoksbergens-review-of-forbidden-family-by-joan-wheeler/

end…

(3 of 3) What ‘duped by adoption’ Joan M Wheeler’s ‘friends’ have to say about her latest piece of garbage; #3 Lori Carangelo

I am placing each reviewer, and my comment to their review, in three separate posts, for they each are worth a post of their own. This introduction paragraph will be used for each one, as the necessary background needed if the posts are read out of order. Of course there are others, # 4 has already been posted and #5 will also have their post.

When I first saw and then purchased Joan’s latest remake of OTHER peoples’ lives, there were no reviews. It wasn’t until AFTER she saw that I quoted her, on a news site, that she announce it and promote it. Once she did that I went back to Amazon and placed a review, which subsequently was removed because I ‘know’ the author! My name was removed, via Amazon, on my comments to the reviewers to read ‘a purchaser’. That’s Amazon’s policy!

One of the three reviewers did NOT like my comment and removed her comment! Gosh what friends Joan has, they can’t take the heat! This reviewer really doesn’t like me!

Reviewer number three, my comment, then other developments and other thoughts

FORBIDDEN FEELINGS ON A FORBIDDEN TOPIC FINALLY OUT OF THE CLOSET 30 June 2015 By Lori Carangelo –

 In “Forbidden Family,” the author skillfully recounts her personal post adoption reunion experience, highlighting the emotional abuse to most adoptees upon whom lifelong secrecy is imposed regarding their origins and pre-adoption pasts. For those not familiar with the fact that most adoptees have “legally” falsified birth certificates, Wheeler includes images of her original and “amended” (post-adoption) birth certificates and other comparisons.

Joan Wheeler takes the reader within, so that the reader feels the trauma she experienced. By doing so, the reader can understand that, not only in Wheeler’s case, but also in most post-adoption reunions, no matter how they are handled, adoptees are meeting strangers who had been in on the secret to varying degrees…A “birth” mother, and often birth siblings, have memory of the child up to the point of relinquishment. The adoptive parent(s) are provided some degree of pre-adoption history and may or may not share what they know, at their discretion. “Forbidden Family” supports the need for abolition of secrecy in the adoption process and not just 18 or more years after finalization — as well as the need for better methods of transferring legal custody that are truly “in child’s best interests.”.

–Lori Carangelo, adoption activist, president of Americans For Open Records (AmFOR), and author of “Chosen Children,” “The Ultimate Search Book,” and “The Adoption and Donor Conception Factbook.”

Gert’s comment to the review, as ‘a purchaser says’, which is what Amazon calls my public name.

 This e-book, is a rehash of the first disaster (the actual living of the events), the second disaster (the first libelous book written by this author) and now this third disaster, because it contains additional hateful statements about those that have ‘passed on’. Why? Author states ‘dead people can’t sue’. It is certainly NOT written skillfully.

Feelings coming out of the closet? This book certainly is full of feelings of rage and hate, so perhaps those feelings, and the author, should go back into the closet. Afterall, she believes she’s been ‘duped by adoption’!

‘Highlighting the emotional abuse’ … abuse works both ways … it is learned and then assimulated and then passed on to others…abuse begets abuse. The way to stop the abuse is to break the cycle. So why does the author continue to punish others and herself? If she was emotionally abused, as she says, in this ‘docu-drama’, I did not find any explanation or indication that she actually ‘got any better’. Instead all I read is her continuation of the cycle of abuse. The use of descriptive narratives to flush out her story-lines by putting words and deeds into REAL people’s mouths and actions, is not very good means of activiting adoption reform.

This book is like ‘reality TV’ shows…it’s all made up for entertainment purposes…no one really takes these types of TV shows and books seriously. If the author truly wants reform and changes that she ought to write truthfully and professionally.

 Gert here again; developments…

Like I said the above review and comment were removed, I can only assume via the author of the review, Lori. On August 13, 2015 I checked Amazon and found the following rewrite of Lori’s review. Obviously, Joan had read a comment I placed on a news site the day before, in which I said I was writing and posting everything that was on Amazon. It doesn’t take much imagination to see that Joan and Lori got together and Lori wrote a new one. I have no explanation about the date of June 29, when it didn’t appear until August 13. Oh the mysterious ways of the internet.

Lori and I have had previous correspondence where she stated that since the first book was still on Amazon it meant that the book was still available and I was wrong. Gosh, I can’t explain those inner workings and complexities and mysterious ways of things to someone who is already convince that they are right! Lori, like Joan, is a great believer in their own greatness! In any event, here is Lori’s second attempt.

Strangers When They Meet  By Lori Carangelo on June 29, 2015  Format: Kindle Edition

 Joan Wheeler takes the reader within, so that the reader feels the trauma she experienced. By doing so, the reader can understand that, not only in Wheeler’s case, but also in most post-adoption reunions, no matter how they are handled, adoptees are meeting strangers who had been in on the secret to varying degrees. A “birth” mother, and in Wheeler’s case, birth siblings, have memory of the child up to the point of relinquishment. The adoptive parent(s) are provided some degree of pre-adoption history and may or may not share what they know,at their discretion. “Forbidden Family” supports the need for abolition of secrecy in the adoption process and not just 18 or more years after finalization — as well as the need for better forms of legal custody, such as individualized legal guardianships, that are truly “in child’s best interests

CHOSEN CHILDREN – Billion Dollar Babies in America’s Failed Foster Care, Adoption & Prison SystemsTHE ADOPTION and DONOR CONCEPTION FACTBOOK: The Only Comprehensive Source of U.S. & Global Data on the Invisible Families of Adoptiom, Foster Care & Donor ConceptionTHE ADOPTION and DONOR CONCEPTION FACTBOOK: The Only Comprehensive Source of U.S. & Global Data on the Invisible Families of Adoptiom, Foster Care & Donor Conception

And Gert’s commenta purchaser says: Your initial post: Aug 13, 2015 5:17:53 PM PDT

Nice sanitized rework! But still not an accurate depiction of the contents of the book! The ‘trauma’ that the author ‘experienced’ was, for the most part, one of her own making, ie. her failure to allow others to adopt if they choose to, and/or to think and do as they choose to. There is NO reason why the author should fabricate story-lines to fit her premise…that’s called ‘junk-science’. I know for fact that details in this book are not accurate, but totally from the author’s perceived ways that adoption ‘should/ought’ to be. Nice try, but no cigar!

This e-book, is still a rehash of the first disaster (the actual living of the events), the second disaster (the first libelous book written by this author) and now this third disaster, because it contains additional hateful statements about those that have ‘passed on’. Why? Author states at location 6577

‘If your father looks bad, it is his own fault, and yours too, for continuing hateful rumors. Uncle Mike died in 2002. Dead people cannot sue, nor can their heirs. Truth is a legal defense. I’m writing this book to expose all the hate and to put an end to it.’

Sounds like the author is ‘getting even’ with people for what? Her adoption? Does the author have a patent on truth? Her truth is NOT everyone else’s truth!  ‘Facts are stubborn things’…President John Adams

Gert here again…now before we go any further I will give these blog posts are references to previous contacts I’ve had with Lori. Besides these posts I would strongly encourage you to look at Lori’s sites and see for yourselves what kind of positions she takes on the issue of adoption. Birds of a feather, flock together.

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2011/11/01/americans-for-open-records-and-adopted-child-syndrome/

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/2012/03/08/update-on-americans-for-open-records-and-adopted-child-syndromes-notice-of-joan-wheelers-libelous-book-forbidden-family/

Now going back to Lori’s (2) reviews. Look at her ‘references’. Obviously there was some type of typo for her references were repeated in the second one. Beyond that, look at the differences between the first and the second reviews. In the first she ‘is adoption activist, president of Americans For Open Records (AmFOR), and author’, in the second she is what? Some typo error!

It is apparent that Lori and Joan will not allow me to over-shadow their parades. Well, guess what, I’m not going anywhere. I shall just continue on.

And of course Joan has ALREADY started rewriting and changing. In August she REMOVED 4 whole chapters and ADDED a rewrite of a forward…that shall be addressed as well.

end  and here are the other current reviews

1) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/08/21/what-duped-by-adoption-joan-m-wheelers-friends-have-to-say-about-her-
latest-piece-of-garbage-reviewer-number-one-1-of-3/

2) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/what-duped-by-adoption-joan-m-wheelers-friends-have-to-say-about-her-
latest-piece-of-garbage-reviewer-number-two-2-of-3/
4) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/08/22/i-interrupt-my-sequence-of-3-reviews-and-my-comments-to-bring-you-
this-newest-one-too-good-to-wait/
5) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/13/review-number-five-5-of-joan-m-wheelers-garbage-e-book-forbidden-
family-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption-and-my-initial-comment/

6) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/18/review-six-6-of-forbidden-family-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption-by-joan-m-wheeler/

7 https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/10/22/review-7-of-joan-m-wheelers-revised-edition-of-her-garbage-book-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption-says-the-book-describes-the-pain-of-being-a-victim/

8)  https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/12/01/review-number-eight-8-of-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption/

9)   https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/12/31/no-doubt-about-it-joan-m-wheelers-latest-revision-of-forbidden-family-duped-by-adoption-is-an-eye-opening-book-she-is-her-own-worst-enemy-and-she-doesnt-even-k/

10)  https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/03/review-10-of-joan-m-wheelers-garbage-book-people-do-see-behind-her-curtain/

11)   https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/04/review-11of-joan-m-wheelers-garbage-book-not-everyone-is-duped/

12) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/26/review-12-or-is-it-11-of-joans-disgusting-book-duped-by-adoption/

13) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/26/review-13-for-duped-by-adoption-adoption-a-view-from-the-other-side/

(2 of 3) What ‘duped by adoption’ Joan M Wheeler’s ‘friends’ have to say about her latest piece of garbage; reviewer number two. (2 of 3)

update Aug 31, 2015…

seems that the author has updated her e-book, no surprise there, she’s always updating the ‘truth’…anyway…I want to update my posts as I go along…see my latest ‘comment’ on the end of my first comment.

I am placing each reviewer, and my comment to their review, in three separate posts, for they each are worth a post of their own. This introduction paragraph will be used for each one, as the necessary background needed if the posts are read out of order.

When I first saw and then purchased Joan’s latest remake of OTHER peoples’ lives, there were no reviews. It wasn’t until AFTER she saw that I quoted her, on a news site, that she announce it and promote it. Once she did that I went back to Amazon and placed a review, which subsequently was removed because I ‘know’ the author! My name was removed, via Amazon, on my comments to the reviewers to read ‘a purchaser’. That’s Amazon’s policy! One of the three reviewers did NOT like my comment and removed her comment! Gosh what friends Joan has, they can’t take the heat!

Reviewer number two and my comment and other thoughts;

 A personal account of the complications  created by adoption and how these could be reduced EvelynR June 21, 2015

 Joan Wheeler has produced an account of her personal experience of adoption separation. Although hers was a rather unusual family situation, she was adopted as a baby and, as with all adopted people, she was issued with a new birth certificate, which stated that her adoptive parents were her actual and only parents. Joan describes the complications and challenges of being a member of several families and the reader follows her journey of self-exploration, through her relationships with the many people to whom she is related in different ways. Joan concludes by outlining the ways in which she feels that adoptions should be conducted more honestly, in order to minimise the harm caused to those who experience separation from family members in this way. It is important for the world to hear from those with a personal experience of adoption to dispel the myths which are, sadly, so readily accepted in many parts of the world.

Gert’s reply…under comments… ‘a purchaser says’

 No one lives in a vacuum, with or without an original birth certificate. The author’s family was not unusual. I’m sure many would agree it is not in good taste to exploit families, with personal biases, in order to get changes into adoption. This revised book, as with the first version, is not about her self-exploration but about the work that needs to be done on the ‘self’.

The author’s life is NOT about ‘adoption separation’, let alone reform and OBCs, for if that was true, she would not have waited until chapter 52 to put out her ‘recommendations for change’; it would have been chapter ONE!

This piece of garbage is self-serving. As an example here, at location 6810 chapter 48 Elderly Parents, is what Joan writes…

‘when I read Dad’s death notice in the newspaper, I was hurt to see that my name was left out. That was just typical of the mindset of these people acting out of spite….Whether or not it was his choice to leave my name out of his death notice I will never know.’

The truth is that the ‘father’ removed the author from his pre-arranged papers in 2009 for his own reasons; family members didn’t knew until he died. Joan’s retelling is from her ‘perspective’, always and as in all families, EVERYONE has a perspective and voice. Finally, adoption has NOTHING to do with the subject of the book. The subject of the book is about someone believing they were ‘duped’.

My 2nd comment…

Well the author decided to update the ebook…apparently she doesn’t like chapters 49, 50, 51 and 52. As I said in previous comment chapter 52 was where the author gives her ‘recommendations for change’ and I suggested it should have been chapter 1 if she was promoting adoption reform! Guess she isn’t for reform after all…just wants to tell us all about her terrible life as an adoptee and a horrible life in reunion with birth family! But wait! she’ll be back! She rewrite those chapters, for now, with e-book, she can rewrite the ‘truth’ as many times as she will!

Gert here again… what I couldn’t say on Amazon.

It really is quite a stupid title for a book! ‘an adoptee, duped by adoption’! Just because Joan feels and believes that she was ‘duped’ doesn’t mean that everyone else has been or is! Nor does it mean that adoption is a fraud. But to hear Joan, and believe me the adoptive and birth families have HEARD Joan, you would think that the human race, around the globe, have all by duped, conned, hoodwinked and more by the INSTITUTION OF ADOPTION!

Oh sure, no system is perfect, shit happens, terrible shit happens, but get real! Joan is such a drama queen! But you know…MAINSTREAM adoptees don’t INVITE Joan and her garbage books on their circuits! This new improved piece of shit is NOT on any adoptee reading list. It is NOT on any adoptee WRITTEN book list and there are A LOT of them out there today. No, mainstream adoptee rights reformers and activists don’t want Joan around them. Joan is so out of step with the world not many of her own kind want her around them.

A really strange thing is, how fascinated Joan is with her ‘baby’ pictures! Look at the covers of the two books. They can be found on the ‘about’ page on the blog and on the Facebook page, of the same title; ‘The life and times of Joan M Wheeler; duped by adoption, a book study’

In the first book her eyes are closed. Long after that first book was pulled from publication, because Joan violated her contract with the publisher that she would not publish libel and other things, but she did! I had noticed that she changed her ‘icon’ in various places and started to use another ‘snap shot’ of herself as that infant…with eyes OPENED. You will note that I cropped the cover picture of the second book because her opened eyes are too ‘creepy’, period!

Joan could be a ‘changeling’ or a ‘bad seed’…such things do happen. None of the other four siblings born to the same parents have those creepy eyes! Genetics aside, Joan was NOT raised by the birth family. She was raised by a strange family and all her behaviors were LEARNED behaviors. No one in the birth family behaves as Joan does!

Was does EvelynR say that Joan had ‘a rather unusual family situation’?  I really don’t get that! There was NOTHING unusual…death of a parent happens quite often and children are placed into adoption for that and many other reasons. It is also not so unusual for ‘shirt-tail’ relations, generations removed, to have mingled and married within close ‘genetic’ relationships and/or to know the existence and identity of a child’s parentage! Joan is only UNIQUE in her own mind!

EvelynR also said ‘the complications and challenges of being a member of several families’. There were only TWO families; the birth and adoptive families.  It was the members of those two families that had ‘the complications and challenges’ when dealing WITH Joan, not the other way around! Joan was a problem child within the adoptive family that had nothing to do with the birth family. It was Joan’s own behaviors and her interferences and various back-stabbings, that caused ‘complications’ that, when told by Joan, became only those DONE by others and NOT by Joan herself. Seems all so one-sided, don’t you think? Joan is always the poor misunderstood child/victim at the raw end of the whip that everyone whipped her with! Give me a break!

‘the reader follows her journey of self-exploration’ EvelynR said of the book! Hate to break it to you Evelyn and others, but his book is not about ‘self-exploration’. It’s a detailed description of the neurosis and damaged brain-cells of Joan and how she ‘goes after everyone who hurt her or whom she hates’.

Case in point, why did Dad remove Joan from his pre-prepared end of life papers? Because Joan finally went over the line of decency and respect for her ‘father’! Joan’s take on it, how she tells it, is NOT the way it happened. In 2009 she attempted to con Dad into paying for her car repairs and to publish the book. He said NO to the car repairs, that was her car not his, and that he didn’t NEED her help any longer. He had read a draft of a long-complicated ‘social-work assessment’ (which she leaves out of this ebook) in which she INSULTED Dad’s heritage and religion! Yes, he kicked her out of his house, again, because each time someone disagrees with Joan, she MUST argue with them. Dad didn’t allow arguing, he had enough of Joan’s conning and yelling. Dad told her ‘call before you come over again’. In 2011, she didn’t call before coming over…but that’s another tale, for another time. It was AFTER he kicked her out that Dad CHANGED his papers and no one, not even his wife knew what he did, until he died and they saw his papers.

But in this piece of garbage, Joan rants and raves, jumping to conclusions, about how it was us, the birth sisters, who ‘took’ her name off Dad’s obit. She gave us powers we didn’t have! So expanding on what I quoted in my original comment above… Location 6807

 ‘When I read Dad’s death notice in the newspaper, I was hurt to see that my name was left out. That was just typical of the mindset of these people acting out of spite. So I purchased a death notice of my own. This man was my father and I was his daughter. No amount of anger toward me, or bickering over me not being his legal daughter at the time of his death, could change the fact that he was my father. Whether or not it was his choice to leave my name out of his death notice I will never know.’

Contrary to what Joan says, she DOES read our blogs and makes false assumptions about ourselves, other family members and actual events. Again, contrary to what Joan says, she NEVER was a full-time care-giver to Dad and step-mom, she was NOT privy to ANYTHING, no one in the birth family wanted her around. It certainly wasn’t the birth sisters, who removed Joan’s name from the obit! But in Joan’s mind we did and therefore it is a FACT and she printed it! That folks is called LIBEL!

I am including here a link to a post that I wrote back when Dad died. It’s details speak for themselves and of course Joan ‘read’ this back then. It is on Ruth’s blog because I did not have my own blog at the time.

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2011/01/17/legal-notice-to-joan-m-wheeler-part-3-by-gertrude-mcqueen-first-born-of-leonard-sippel/

legal-notice-to-joan-m-wheeler-part-3-by-gertrude-mcqueen-first-born-of-leonard-sippel/

And finally, EvelynR says;

‘It is important for the world to hear from those with a personal experience of adoption to dispel the myths which are, sadly, so readily accepted in many parts of the world.’

While that may be true, it will NOT be found in this piece of shit work. The mind of Joan M Wheeler does NOTHING to help dispel any myths, it only CONFIRMS that her mind is diseased, that she puts HER view upon others and her motives are purely selfish and revengeful.

end

1) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/08/21/what-duped-by-adoption-joan-m-wheelers-friends-have-to-say-about-her-
latest-piece-of-garbage-reviewer-number-one-1-of-3/

2) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/what-duped-by-adoption-joan-m-wheelers-friends-have-to-say-about-her-
latest-piece-of-garbage-reviewer-number-two-2-of-3/
3) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/09/3-of-3-what-duped-by-adoption-joan-m-wheelers-friends-have-to-say-
about-her-latest-piece-of-garbage-reviewer-number-three/

4) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/08/22/i-interrupt-my-sequence-of-3-reviews-and-my-comments-to-bring-you-
this-newest-one-too-good-to-wait/
5) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/13/review-number-five-5-of-joan-m-wheelers-garbage-e-book-forbidden-
family-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption-and-my-initial-comment/

6) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/18/review-six-6-of-forbidden-family-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-
adoption-by-joan-m-wheeler/

7) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/10/22/review-7-of-joan-m-wheelers-revised-edition-of-her-garbage-book-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption-says-the-book-describes-the-pain-of-being-a-victim/

8)  https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/12/01/review-number-eight-8-of-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption/

9)   https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/12/31/no-doubt-about-it-joan-m-wheelers-latest-revision-of-forbidden-family-duped-by-adoption-is-an-eye-opening-book-she-is-her-own-worst-enemy-and-she-doesnt-even-k/

10)  https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/03/review-10-of-joan-m-wheelers-garbage-book-people-do-see-behind-her-curtain/

11)   https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/04/review-11of-joan-m-wheelers-garbage-book-not-everyone-is-duped/

12) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/26/review-12-or-is-it-11-of-joans-disgusting-book-duped-by-adoption/

13) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/26/review-13-for-duped-by-adoption-adoption-a-view-from-the-other-side/

I interrupt my sequence of 3 reviews, and my comments, to bring you this newest one; too good to wait! #4 Patti Weber

update August 31, 2015

seems that the author has updated her e-book, no surprise there, she’s always updating the ‘truth’…anyway…I want to update my posts as I go along…see my latest ‘comment’ on the end of my first comment.

As I have stated, but if you have not seen it, according to Amazon’s policy, I am NOT allowed to ‘review’ the garbage book of Joan M Wheeler, because, according to my ‘purchases’ I am ‘known’ to the author! Dah! I’m in the dam book but I can’t write a review! And my name can NOT be published. So Amazon gave me a name; ‘a purchaser’. So that at least gives me the assumption that I am a ‘verified purchaser’ even though they won’t allow me to speak via my own name! So be it. I have many other avenues to speak my mind about Joan’s lies. Yes, for the record I have purchased the e-book and so have others in the family. Over time, this blog and the Facebook page shall get to the ‘guts’ of the book. For now I’m concentrating on reviews and working up many blog entries.

In any event, imagine my surprise on the morning of, 22 August 2015, when I checked Amazon and saw a review published the day before! This is review #4.

Just finished…barely  By Patti G. Weber on August 21, 2015

This review is from: Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption (Kindle Edition)

While the book was somewhat informative, it is the story of one woman’s reunion experience. If you are looking for a feel good book. This is not it. While I respect the author’s feelings because they are hers, the book comes across as being very bitter, and the author as a somewhat unlikeable victim. While I feel somewhat sorry for the author, I think she judged a lot of what happened to her in the early 1950s /60s by the standards of the 70s 80s 90s and even up to now. Adoption laws and feelings about adoption, contrary to her observations, have changed since she was adopted in 1956, and even since she was “found” in 1974. I think the biggest sadness in this book is not how she was “wronged by everyone” but that she never seems to understand her adoptive parents and the decisions they made in the 50s and 60s and respect those feelings and decisions just like she expects everyone to respect hers. I came away from reading the book feeling angry. Adoption has touched my life, and it hasn’t always been in a positive way, but this book is a horror story written by a victim who refuses to see the positive side of any part of her life.

After thinking about and sharing it with others on Facebook, I wrote the following comment on Amazon.

Your initial post: Aug 22, 2015 8:25:26 AM PDT

a purchaser says:

Well it’s about time that someone wrote an objective review that is spot on! Yes, the `sadness’ of this book is in the author’s exploitation of both sets of parents and families, as well as the one-sidedness of the author’s views, anger, hate and lack of compassion. Narcissistic personality comes to mind; it’s all about them! A reader SHOULD be angry after reading this piece of garbage. It never should have been written or published a second time. The author falsely believes that `her’ victimhood will prevent others from adopting. The only positive side of the author’s life is that she CAN get this garbage published!

And my updated comment on Aug 31, 2015…

Be aware that the author has began to ‘rewrite’ her ‘truth’ again! Apparently doesn’t like the initial responses she’s gotten so she took out chapters 49, 50, 51, 52. Reading this book, with the potential of having rewrite after rewrite, would make anyone angry! Which version of the truth can anyone believe, there’s many versions of it! I can’t wait to see what she updates on those chapters when she’s done rewriting them….again.

Now…What I could not say on Amazon!

Yes, it is refreshing and ‘about time’ that someone, NOT part of Joan’s click of angry adoptees or those that she has sucked into her charming personality BS, has spoken truthfully about the contents of the book!

The book is not fully truthful, for it is written wholly by ONE person and that person’s view of everything and everyone, and in addition, who has it out for everyone who doesn’t think like her. So her story of her reunion, without input from others, is not a true story.

Yes the book is not a feel good one. I, and others, who have been her victim don’t ‘respect’ the author’s feelings. We did that once, twice, three times and you know what?… we all got shafted, wronged and hurt, over and over again. The author is bitter, she’s full of hate.  Yes she is never ‘likeable’, once you cross her. Many male friends have found that out the hard way. She’s a user. I know of several ‘adoptees’ that have come forth with horror stories of their own dealings with Joan. No one in the birth family feels sorry for Joan. We all gave her everything, all our love and feelings, and she not only step on us; she used us and libeled us now TWICE.

It doesn’t matter what time period, of adoption laws, Joan argues against, when it comes to adoption and its laws. She wants to abolish adoption everywhere! Joan does not recognize any other authorities beyond her own! She is, amongst other things, a narcissistic, it’s all about her and her view; don’t confuse her with facts, they don’t exist to her.

She has a persecution complex, so why would she ever consider the feelings of others? Everyone is out to get her! Sadness oh yes! She is pathetic.

Patti G. Weber’s statement…‘this book is a horror story written by a victim who refuses to see the positive side of any part of her life.’…hits it right to the CORE of the matter of Joan M Wheeler. Joan has no life because she has no positive aspect in her life. She rejects anything ‘divine’. She rejects anything that doesn’t or anyone who doesn’t CONFORM to her views. Period! Thank you Patti G. Weber.

UPDATE April 30, 2016

A couple of days ago I noticed that my two comments were deleted and there was a new one from Dana Seilhan, a well known crude loud mouth that always goes after Joan’s sisters and any one who does not accept the party line that adoptees are victims!

Anyway…here are the ‘newest’ comments on this review.

Dana Seilhan April 28, 2016

Um, right and wrong aren’t measured by what year it is. The cold hard fact is that people treated this woman like crap simply because she was adopted, something she had never asked for in the first place, and she has every right to be angry. You sound like you think you have presented an original argument. You haven’t. It’s the same cowardly old crap trotted out by every person who feels uncomfortable with someone else expressing negative feelings. That says a hell of a lot more about you than it ever will about Joan. Maybe you should go talk with a therapist about it. And consider this: The crap you spewed in this “review” is likely part of the reason she IS bitter. You would be too if all you ever caught from people was crap. And it’s not enough for someone to do some nice things for you sometimes if they’re just going to turn around and abuse you right afterward.

gert mcqueen April 29, 2016

Was Dana in the author’s life to know first-hand that she was mistreated because she was an adoptee? Second hand information, expressed either verbally or written, is considered hear-say. The author’s own speculations, wondering about and second-guessing what others thought or did or would do, as she presents in the book, is also a form of hear-say. The author’s adoption had nothing to do with her relationships in either the birth or adoptive families. It was the author’s OWN behaviors to others, which of course she does not take responsibility for, were what created certain negative outcomes. If the author, and others, believe that the author had a lot of CRAP thrown at her, and that the author is entitled to be bitter, then those beliefs only enhances the views of others, like this reviewer (Patti Weber), who see the author as a life-long victim of her own designs. Patti’s is an objective review! The `sadness’ of this book is in the author’s one-sided views, anger, hate and lack of compassion. A reader SHOULD be angry after reading this piece of garbage. The author seems to believe that `her’ victimhood will prevent others from adopting.

Ruth Pace says:  April 29, 2016

Dana says “right and wrong aren’t measured by what year it is.” – I don’t think the reviewer Patti was referring to right and wrong, but referring to something that I myself noted on my blog. That social circumstances were not the same in the 1950’s as they are today. More specifically – the problem of infant and child care issues. There were no day care centers in the 50’s as we have now. Social Services, particularly public assistance, was also not the same as we have now. The author’s father HAD to go to work to earn money to feed and clothe his children. Bringing an infant to work with him was not a viable option. Staying home was out of the question. What was he supposed to do with a three month old infant, a three year old toddler and a five year old child during the day while he was at work? The older two children, 8 and 9 years of age were in school, but does Dana recommend that the author’s father to have left her lying in a crib unattended for more than 8 hours a day with no one to watch her except a 3 year old and a 5 year old?The author’s father did the best he could – his parents were elderly – his father was an amputee (one leg), was not able to care for 2 small children and an infant. His wife worked out of the home. The author’s father’s landlord and landlady also could not “babysit” every day while he worked, nor was any neighbor. Other relatives could not do it either. So the author’s father did the best thing he could – he relinquished the infant for adoption. If Dana wants to talk about right and wrong – I think leaving a 3 month old in a crib UNATTENDED, hungry, sitting in a dirty diaper all day is wrong, wrong, wrong.

end and here is the other reviews…

1) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/08/21/what-duped-by-adoption-joan-m-wheelers-friends-have-to-say-about-her-
latest-piece-of-garbage-reviewer-number-one-1-of-3/

2) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/what-duped-by-adoption-joan-m-wheelers-friends-have-to-say-about-her-
latest-piece-of-garbage-reviewer-number-two-2-of-3/

3) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/09/3-of-3-what-duped-by-adoption-joan-m-wheelers-friends-have-to-say-
about-her-latest-piece-of-garbage-reviewer-number-three/

5) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/13/review-number-five-5-of-joan-m-wheelers-garbage-e-book-forbidden-
family-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption-and-my-initial-comment/

6)   https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/18/review-six-6-of-forbidden-family-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption-by-joan-m-wheeler/

7) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/10/22/review-7-of-joan-m-wheelers-revised-edition-of-her-garbage-book-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption-says-the-book-describes-the-pain-of-being-a-victim/

8)  https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/12/01/review-number-eight-8-of-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption/

9)   https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/12/31/no-doubt-about-it-joan-m-wheelers-latest-revision-of-forbidden-family-duped-by-adoption-is-an-eye-opening-book-she-is-her-own-worst-enemy-and-she-doesnt-even-k/

10)  https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/03/review-10-of-joan-m-wheelers-garbage-book-people-do-see-behind-her-curtain/

11)   https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/04/review-11of-joan-m-wheelers-garbage-book-not-everyone-is-duped/

12) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/26/review-12-or-is-it-11-of-joans-disgusting-book-duped-by-adoption/

13) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/26/review-13-for-duped-by-adoption-adoption-a-view-from-the-other-side/