‘I understand people’s need for privacy.’ Says Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

 

Unfortunately that is FALSE! She is a liar, incapable of telling the truth about her families. Joan hasn’t a clue about anyone’s privacy, for she doesn’t care about others. It’s all about HER and HER privacy, while she fabricates lives about family members, for others, to promote her political agenda against adoption.

On a Facebook group page, Adoption Sucks, on July 10, 2017, someone asked a question; Is there anyone else on here who has a diagnosed mental illness?

The Facebook page’s link is…  https://www.facebook.com/groups/10484382277/

Now this particular Facebook page is a PUBLIC PAGE. Anyone who writes anything, on any public social media site or on a blog or a comment, anywhere, CANNOT expect privacy. Their postings, comments, likes etc. are OUT THERE for PUBLIC viewings. And of course the same goes for any printed book or e-book and as such is ALWAYS subject to PUBLIC scrutiny and discourse. I myself have two public blogs and one public Facebook page dedicated to the words and works of Joan/Doris. I also have the public right to comment, review and have discussions on Amazon, or any other company, on ANY item they publish and/or sell.

So of course, there were comments on the thread… ‘Is there anyone else on here who has a diagnosed mental illness?’ Joan/Doris said some things that went beyond inappropriateness, violating OUR FAMILY’S privacy. Ruth commented.

Ruth wrote a blog about the ‘fallout’. It can be found here…

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2017/07/30/doris-michol-sippel-fka-joan-mary-wheeler-engages-in-an-unprovoked-attack-on-me-and-my-family-on-the-facebook-page-adoption-sucks-what-a-nice-grown-up-name-there/

This post of mine will address more specific points. I will be adding my own observations about the comments after each appears here, in this post, as Gert observes…

Please take NOTE of the times of when Daryl Bergmann posted on Doris Michol Sippel’s comment and when he commented/posted on Ruth’s comment…seems to be some special treatment given to Joan/Doris!

2017 Leslie Dann July 10 at 3:26pm

Is there anyone else on here who has a diagnosed mental illness? I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 19 after I went manic and saw hallucinations. I have been taking my medication for years, faithfully, but this past year I have been hospitalized three times for depression. I don’t know why except there are external factors, such as no support system and a job I’m just doing to get my pension. I told bfather about how I hadn’t been doing so well lately and he hasn’t answered my email. I think if you admit to being unhappy (even if you have a mental illness) they just don’t want to hear it. It upsets their adoption apple cart. Anyone else I would have told that to would have said that they were there to talk or reach out to. Bfather: silence. More disappointment.

Gert observes…

Adoptees are NOT the only people that get NOTHING from family or friends. All I see here is just another self-pity party. I have had many down times in my life, had my cries, and then I got up and just went on. NO I do NOT have any kind of mental illness! And I’ve been fairly healthy all my life. So I’m very GRATEFUL for my life! Personally, I find the over use of social media to self-diagnosis and medicate and have pity-parties rather useless, but hey that’s just me!

Doris Michol Sippel I have C-PTSD, depression, anxiety. My adoptive mother had several diagnosed mental illnesses for which I was treated in order to learn how to cope with her behavior. My adoptive father was her enabler. The rest of my adoptive father’s family (not all, thank goodness) all piled on the band wagon to emotionally abuse me after my reunion, so gang mentality increased my fear, anxiety, PTSD from their attacks. My natural blood family have undiagnosed mental illness, their attacks upon me are also responsible for my C-PTSD. July 16 at 7:59am

Gert observes…

Well, she is narcissistic and therefore cannot help herself…it’s all about her! Joan/Doris’s mental illness mostly likely came from the DRUG that mother was taking during the pregnancy to ‘hold’ the fetus, that and her premature birth…so yes she was damaged in the womb, coupled with, LEARNED BEHAVIORS from the adoptive family and the abuse she suffered from someone in that family. Life can be a bitch! And reading too many book etc. can create things in our minds that are not really there…we all make own forms of hell!

Joan/Doris does NOT have any evidence for her claim that the birth family had any kind of mental illnesses; diagnosed or un-diagnosed. To state this is yet another one of her lies and fabrications to justify her version of how she was treated by ANYONE. She has been telling lies and fabrications all over the Internet and in PRINT for decades. To ‘sue’ her would be useless, that is why we have blogs to counter her lies.

NO ONE in the birth family even attacked her! YES, she was argued with, yelled at, told to shut up, get lost, was KICKED out of several birth families’ homes, including at least 5 times by father BEFORE she got the hint and stopped; that’s why she wrote the book in the first place, to get even for some perceived harms. But, no one even attacked her, in any way. She is her own worst enemy! She never takes RESPONSIBILITY for any of her own words or deeds.

Just because she claims a ‘thing’ doesn’t mean it happened! She has claimed many absurdities and none are true! She NEVER thought that the birth siblings would counter her book! She didn’t count on the reality of pay-back from those she maligned. She would NEVER have heard from me again once I divorced her in 1980, but NO, she had to…write and published a book, a lying book, in 2009. Since that time birth siblings have been and will continue to expose her words and deeds…that is NOT attacking its KARMA BABY.

Daryl Bergmann I note that you have identified no members of your natural blood family by name nor stated which side may suffer, maternal or paternal.  😉 Not asking, only making an observation.  · July 17 at 1:32am

Gert observes…

NOTE the time of this comment of Daryl’s (July 17 @ 1:32 pm). He placed that comment AFTER he was alerted to Ruth’s comment and after Joan/Doris’s ‘comeback’ of July 17 at 12:05am

Beyond that, EVERYONE knows who Joan/Doris’s birth family members are, for SHE publicly NAMED us years ago! So Daryl if you are making an observation, perhaps the clue you MISSED was the NAMES!

As Ruth said, in other places, Joan/Doris… promotes her ‘adoption’ with ‘a picture of her two dead birth parents as her personal mascots’! Those two parents are OURS! Joan/Doris OUTED us decades ago and continues to use our parents as PERSONAL MASCOTS!

BTW…just because someone CAN sue doesn’t mean that they CAN! Joan/Doris doesn’t have a cent to her name, nothing of $$$ value to get from a law-suit, and she doesn’t have the $$$ to sue anyone…so the point is mute. She said, we said! She writes a book or two or three, we have a blog or two or three. Our READERSHIP far exceeds her sales and readership of her books. NO author in mainstream adoption reform PROMOTES her works or gets her at conferences and there’s no movie producer looking to make a movie out of her book/life; clue here…that was her BIGGEST dream, to have a movie made of her life… oh excuse me…OUR LIVES!

Daryl Bergmann Yeah. Doris doesn’t mention a name. Then boom, immediately on the defense to deny any form of mental illness pops up Ruth with a prepared novel for that exact purpose. Says a lot. Far more than intended. Adoption really does suck.  · July 16 at 3:50pm

Gert observes…

As I just said, what everyone seems to FORGET is that Doris doesn’t have to MENTION a name, for she has been spreading falsehoods about birth family members for years and she wrote THREE books about us! Ruth, or anyone else, has the RIGHT to confront the statements said about her and her family, as do I! Just as the Facebook page Adoption Sucks has its own opinions on the subject of adoption, OTHERS have their own opinions and rights to object to falsehoods, whether Daryl or others object. Yes of course, he has the right to monitor the page etc. but that doesn’t give him any position to lessen or DEMEAN Ruth’s opinions or position.

Let’s remember that Joan/Doris has her own ‘prepared novel for that exact purpose’ and she uses it every time she goes to pro-adoption sites or adoptive parent sites or any place that she opposes. If Joan can do it, so can Ruth! Remember public viewings are subject to public opinions and sharing…Deal with it!

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace I am Ruth Sippel Pace – birth sister of Doris Michol Sippel – I do not have any mental illness. I recently retired from a 43 year career as a Patient Care Assistant at a large metropolitan general hospital. During those 43 years, I worked on several me…See More  July 16 at 1:49pm

Gert observes…

Remember to see Ruth’s blog post (link above) for the full text of the thread. There was NOTHING wrong with Ruth identifying herself while coming forth and putting truth to a malicious lie! It seems to me that hate-filled adoptees DO NOT want to see the damage that they do to family members. Double standards here!

Doris Michol Sippel In case you all are wondering where I’ve been…I’ve been quietly living my life today. Breakfast, laundry, church, lunch with a friend, grocery shopping, answered long distance phone call, prepared for work tomorrow, went to an outdoor concert, came back to this. Yes, I long ago blocked Ruthie and Gert so I cannot see their comments. All I see are the words of others talking to Ruth. Imagine being found at age 18 in 1974 by these weird women! I was in my senior year of high school, got enmeshed in their problems, got swept up in everyone’s anger at me, so I lashed back, until I sought therapy. I still cannot understand why we all have made it clear many decades ago that we want nothing to do with each other – and they still hunt me down. I do nothing to them.They attack other adoptees. …Ruth is 63 or 64, Gert is 70. I am 61. You see the content of my writing. Who has mental illness? Who admits to struggling? Me. As Daryl Bergmann said, NOT ME. Who is in denial?   · July 17 at 12:05am

Gert observes…

Oh yes we were wondering, so how very nice of her to show us all her ‘normal everyday life’! Typical technique of hers, the birth family knows them all too well, as do those that she has doubled crossed. Yes, this is how Joan/Doris continues with her unique brand of demonizing those that ‘found’ her as she spins her tale of being just a normal gal.

Right, her sisters are ‘weird women’. She ‘got enmeshed in their problems, got swept up in everyone’s anger at me, so I lashed back, until I sought therapy’! Wow! Isn’t that terrible? We four siblings and then father, only FOUND her so we could manipulate her into our problems! Right, sure, tell me another fairy tale! And OUR anger swept up and gathered Joan/Doris into a whirlwind that she HAD to lash back at! Yep, right, ok! wink, wink, So thanks for clarify that for me as I wasn’t paying any attention to HER seeing that SHE violated my privacy and my children’s etc.!

And therapy? She was in it BEFORE we knew her! She’s been in it for her ENTIRE LIFE! That’s a sure sign of mentally illness that is NOT controlled. She uses her conditions to promote her negative agenda against adoption…but hey go have your fun!

She may have blocked us long ago, but she still READS our blogs and adjusts what she says and prints accordingly. I know for I’ve dissected her writing now and see those changes with EACH version of that lying book of hers and various things she blogs about! She even imitates our choices of words and phrases. BUT unless a person makes Joan/Doris a subject to watch you would NOT know that!

We don’t have anything to do with her! I haven’t seen her since 1992! We just tell the truth to her lies! That is what she can’t stop! Hunt her down!!?? There’s a mental illness speaking here! We don’t attack other adoptees! We do comment to and about adoptees just like millions of other people do.

Joan/Doris is SO INTO numbers, dates, ages, years of this that and the other thing. Is there something special here I’m missing? Oh yeah…she’s been at this a long time, so she knows what she’s talking about…wait I have to vomit!

Ruth and I are NOT denying a thing! We are NOT mentally ill, no one in our family has been, except JOAN/DORIS and I already told HOW that happened.

If Ruth can hold a job for 43 years and I could hold a job for 37 years how did we MANAGE that if we were mentally ill?? (btw I RETIRED EARLY so if I had worked till 65 I would have had 43 years as well…but I took a pension early!)

Joan/Doris had NEVER HELD a job long, is on disability because of her mental illness. Whom would you believe?

Daryl Bergmann She wasn’t even named, and she posts a diatribe demanding the “slanderous and libelous” post (slander is a verbal spoken statement made with one’s mouth and vocal cords – hard to do that in a typed post) be removed. As she was not identified in any way, there is no libel either. This administrator will be leaving all ‘evidence’ as is.   July 17 at 1:08am

Gert observes…

Let it be known that Joan/Doris herself has claimed that she has been victimized by ‘slanderous and libelous’ posts by her birth siblings. EVERYONE knows the different between the two words, Daryl. Obviously you NEEDED something to contribute to throw at Ruth! Daryl would do WELL to read everything that Joan/Doris has written to LEARN about her. Then, read the ‘other side of things’, our blogs, comments and reviews, to LEARN the truth. But you are not interested in that…of course.

As I’ve stated several times here, Joan/Doris USES our family name, she has identified us EVERY WHERE. It is common knowledge to hateful and angry adoptees whom are her siblings. If YOU didn’t know that that just shows your ignorance of Joan/Doris. We are GLAD that you have kept the ‘evidence’ for that makes it and keeps it in that PUBLIC SPACE that is available to all, not just adoptees. If you think that there are none that find these comments offensive then you really don’t know all your viewers and certainly not mine!

Doris Michol Sippel Can anyone copy and paste all comments, including Ruth’s comments, in a Word doc and email the whole thread to me? dorismicholsippel@gmail.com … Thank you. July 17 at 12:07am

Gert observes…

If Joan/Doris doesn’t want anything to do with us, then WHY does she want a copy of what Ruth said here? Why, because she believes that she is UNDER ATTACK and it’s her ‘evidence’. Joan has no concept that it is she who has VIOLATED the birth family’s PRIVACY, not only here, but everywhere! Whenever Joan/Doris speaks about her birth family she violates their privacy! She does it to her adoptive family as well. Joan doesn’t GET IT that she is ATTACKING us when she negates our positions and opinions, when she resorts to name-calling and with her volumes of lies and fabrications. She cannot accept that we will COUNTER her lies! So did everyone get Joan/Doris’s email address?? She made it PUBLIC!

Laurel Jenkins-Crowe I hope it’s OK for me to put in that I for one would like to know what would be done with that document. Could it be anonymized?   July 17 at 7:48am

Gert observes…

And why is this person CONCERNED? Is she worried that she will be named? Well…yes she is being named…I expose all those that give support to Joan/Doris’s attacks upon me and family.

Doris Michol Sippel I’d like a full account of what Ruth wrote. Yes, it could be anonymized. And, someone already copied it for me. Thank you. I’m sorry my adoption peeps have to see this harassment. I don’t see why my life is such an obsession with Ruth and Gert. · July 17 at 5:38pm

Gert observes…

Harassment??!!! Yep that what she thinks opposing opinions are! Anyone who continues to put TRUTH to Joan/Doris’s lies is harassing her!

I don’t see why my life is such an obsession with Ruth and Gert.’ Joan/Doris your life is NOT an obsession with us…we don’t give one THOUGHT about your life! Your life means NOTHING to us! What we do CARE ABOUT is your constant violation of our privacy and your continued lying and fabricating. We also CARE ABOUT you USING, EXPOSING AND EXPLOITING our PARENTS!

Laurel Jenkins-Crowe Thank you! I’m glad the request wasn’t offensive.  July 17 at 6:09pm

Gert observes…

Why would this person think her request was offensive? Perhaps she has a bit of a conscious? Like, perhaps maybe Joan/Doris is in the WRONG to be asking for a copy of comment by a person that she has BANNED AND BLOCKED. If Joan/Doris wants to see what Ruth or Gert has to say, perhaps she ought to come out from under that rock and face us like a woman and not some cheap cheat!

Doris Michol Sippel Laurel Jenkins-Crowe Not at all. I understand people’s need for privacy. July 18 at 8:27am

Gert observes…

Two faced forked tongue that Joan/Doris is! Anyone can see that by her request for a copy of a person’s comment, which she blocked, that Joan/Doris is a coward! And then hides behind false virtue!

Unlike mentally ill people, who take meds and/or are in therapy, can’t hold down a job, can’t accept their life, and can’t accept opposing opinions or those that don’t agree with them…SANE, rational people see the truth, reality, are NOT afraid of voicing their objections to their privacy being violated, exposed and exploited for some pet project of the mentally ill individual and friends. Joan/Doris does not get a ‘free get out of jail’ card because she admits she is mentally ill. She gets the distinction of NON-credibility!

end

Ruth

she should finish that sentence thusly: “I understand people’s need for privacy, except my birth sisters – or my entire birth family, Or my adopted family – or my ex-husband, or anybody (including angry adoptees) who pissed me off in my life — I will plaster their names and lie about them all over my libelous book and the internet.

Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel has found another avenue to sell her lying book!

Apparently, sales have NOT been good! How could they be? Who wants to spend money on this idiot’s life? It’s common knowledge that her book is garbage and untrue!

Where’s that OTHER book she was going to publish a YEAR ago, the one with OTHER adoptees? Guess she didn’t get any takers for that! Nope she needs to get out of the book writing selling business!

Before long we will find Joan/Doris standing on street corners hawking her book!

Mainstream adoption reformers DON’T list her book on their book lists; they know that her books are NOT going to help the reform movement and they don’t want to be associated with her when the FAMILY (me) exposes them. And expose I will do!

So she’s found another way! Seen on Facebook…

Adoptee Voices Promotions

https://www.facebook.com/groups/321987731251995/

Under items for sale, we find

Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity.

€9 Buffalo, NY  Available from Amazon. Kindle $9.99. Print $19.99 American Dollars

And her post

Doris Michol Sippel  July 10 at 3:43pm

Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity.

€9 Buffalo, NY Available from Amazon. Kindle $9.99. Print $19.99 American Dollars

Book Description: The death of my married mother when I was an infant led to my closed adoption. Eighteen years later, I was found by family I did not know I had.

(there then is a picture of the book)

And COMMENTS on the Facebook page

Catherine Lynch congratulations! I hope we can get this book in Australia!  July 10 at 10:02pm

Liz O’Keefe Catherine Lynch, you can get it https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family…/dp/0692780610

Well BEFORE anyone purchases Joan/Doris’s book they OUGHT to read the reviews, comments and forums on Amazon.

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family-Adoptee-Duped-Adoption/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/-/1/ref=cm_cd_fp_rvt?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW

Joan Mary Wheeler forum

https://www.amazon.com/gp/forum/cd/forum.html/ref=cm_cd_rvt?ie=UTF8&cdForum=Fx3T0YAD0KXNPP5

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family-Joan-M-Wheeler/dp/1412061547

and these sites written my TWO birth family members

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/     this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

a Facebook page dedicated to the lying books.

Dead people can’t and don’t speak! But Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel continues to exploit our DEAD mother and father!

This crap, of Joan/Doris, is just like ‘what would Jesus say’! Attempting to get a sympathy vote, a ‘oh poor me’ attitude, a cop-out from reality and stupidity.

This isn’t the first time that Joan/Doris has done this…only this time she is using both our parents as a means to influence politicians and law-makers.

If Joan/Doris really BELIEVES in wanting to have her BIRTH parents legally RECOGNIZED on her birth certificate, why did she go and write THREE lying books about our parents? Why did she put in PRINT what she DID to our father and portray him negativity, over and over again? Why did she put in PRINT lies about our mother’s medical conditions? Why did she put in PRINT lies about her birth siblings and extended family members?

Both our parents are DEAD and will NEVER speak to their children again. Knowing Joan/Doris is an atheist, she doesn’t believe in the Christian heaven, or any other religious thought or afterlife, she’ll NEVER met or speak to them when she herself dies.

The worst part is that she CONTINUES to exploit them! She says…

Mom, I do it for you, too. And for Dad. You would want me to, wouldn’t you, Mom?

What f…ing BS! Joan/Doris is nothing up a creep, a lying creep, who can’t ACCEPT her life! She doesn’t do this for Mom and Dad…she does it for her SELF! Because she is selfish, needs attention, and will say and do anything to get that attention. IF, IF, IF she truly was doing this for Mom…WHY does she say ‘wouldn’t you, Mom’? That whole thing stinks of DOUBT. Joan/Doris KNOWS deep in her soul that she is NOT DOING RIGHT.

Perhaps the dead DO talk…if one opens their HEART they could hear the loved one say…STOP IT, MOVE ON, LET US REST IN PEACE. But, Joan/Doris has CLOSED her heart and soul…that is why she is in constant pain…she will NOT accept her LIFE.

Now as to the CURRENT political situation; adoptees are asking New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo to Veto the current bills up for his signature (regressive Mother-May-I Bills A5036B/S4845A). The reason is because to them it is a ‘dirty’ bill, because it doesn’t give the adoptees what they want. Perhaps Governor Cuomo OUGHT TO SIGN THE BILL…NOT veto it. What Joan/Doris is doing is EXACTLY what should NOT be done when adoptees gain their birth parents names…expose and exploit them.

It also seems that Joan/Doris STILL can’t have her cake and eat it too…by changing her name legally BACK to her birth name she STILL has to COMPLY with Vital Statics RULES. What a FOOL! Can you image the mess that will happen when a DEATH certificate for this fool is needed!

Here’s the link to her crap…

https://forbiddenfamily.com/2017/06/30/how-would-my-mother-feel-to-know-new-york-state-erased-her-from-my-birth-certificate/

end

Doris M Sippel/Joan M Wheeler doesn’t care about ethics! She just exposes & exploits two families with her hate!

Are there ethics when writing a ‘memoir’? How does someone exam their own reasons for exposing ‘all’ and how do they know their reasons are sound? What do the experts say?

I’ve read many authors and writing experts on tips for writing, in general and memoirs in particular and for the most part they all present solid reasons and tips. Many memoir writers don’t care about what the experts say, or anyone for that matter, because they are only interested in continuing on with their own HATE agendas.

Seen on Twitter…

Linda Joy Myers Ph.D ‏@MemoirGuru  24 Dec 2016

When you put real people in your memoir, even if the portraits are positive, it’s good form to notify them. http://bit.ly/2dGEsnl  #memoir

^^^^

So I clicked on the link provided and got an error message.

http://namw.org/2010/08/secrets-and-tips-write-a-powerful-memoir/

But the post can be seen on these following links

http://namw.org/blog/

http://namw.org/author/linda/page/91/

Here now is the article, followed by a few thoughts of my own and links to blogs, Facebook page, discussions on Amazon, about Joan/Doris’s book.

Secrets and Tips: Write a Powerful Memoir

Tuesday, 17 August 2010 18:03 Written by Linda Joy Myers 0 Comments

The release of The Power of Memoir–How to Write Your Healing Story has given me the opportunity to answer questions about memoir writing, from truth to secrets, from families who support the writer to families who threaten to sue if the memoirist tells “the truth.” I’m posting some of the questions every few days to help memoir writers caught in the dilemma between truth, memoir, family, and fiction.

Many writers are torn between the desire to tell the truth and the internal/external pressure to keep family secrets. What do you recommend they do?

It’s important first for the writer to get her story on the page, to write her own truth. Each person has a point of view and his own story that no one else can tell, so he needs to claim it and discover its wisdom by writing about it. This process creates a new perspective that brings forth layers of memories and insights. Exposing these layers is part of the healing process.

And there’s the hot topic in all my workshops: secrets. Secrets are energy magnets. The force it takes to keep secrets hidden is energy that could be used for growth and creativity. So often though, the shame and guilt associated with secrets keep feeding the darkness and the fear. Secrets maintain a great power over us, and we are diminished by them. We become co-conspirators to family dynamics that we don’t agree with and want to break away from. So we get caught in a conflict—to speak or not to speak? Do we remain closed and complicit, or open up and take the risk of losing friends and family, of being ousted from the family, or shamed once again into submission? These are choices that we need to make consciously and with care.

I tell my students to be open to writing two versions of the story: first, write for yourself, to clear out your emotional closet and sort the events that are jumbled up in your mind. Research has shown that writing the unadorned truth is powerful and creates changes in the brain—in other words: it’s healing.

When you put real people in your book, especially if they are identifiable, they should be notified. Even if all the portraits are positive, we’re exposing a real person to the eyes of the world. The convention is to have people read the sections they appear in, if you are on speaking terms. If not, change the names and identifying characteristics, even if that means changing names for the character, the streets, town and anything that exposes them. If published, the legal branch of the publishing company can vet the manuscript as well, but since so many memoirs are self-published, I think it’s important for people to keep these ethics in mind.

Putting the publishing concerns aside for a moment, I think the writer first needs to listen to the voice within, the true author of the story–yourself. Write what you have to say as if no one will read it–you can review it later. You will be different from the writer who began the story. Writing the story will transform you, heal you, and give you a feeling of empowerment.
Be brave–write your story!

^^^^^

My comments…

Joan/Doris NEVER informed the majority of people whom she writes about. From the beginning she used the FAMILY name and offers many identifying information about everyone. I, my husband and children, were never informed. Nor were others in the families, both birth and adopted.

She indicates that our father saw a draft. Well that particular incident has been rewritten several times, by Joan, after the TRUTH of that episode was brought out, via my own and my sister Ruth’s blogs. Joan rewriting things to cover up a truth is NOT a memoir nor is it ETHICAL nor healing! What it is, is, the proof that she can NOT allow others to tell a different version than her own! That brings in the question of ethics; just why does she write a memoir and rewrite it over and over again? Answer…because she is mentally ill and narcissistic.

Joan/Doris surrounds herself and finds various types of people that will AGREE with her NEED to heal by writing her story, even when it’s been proven to be false. Two of her ‘friends’ wrote positive reviews on Joan’s THIRD edition, AFTER negative reviews were written. They said that updating is a form of healing! What utter bullshit!

Personally I feel that if someone ‘needs’ to write their story to HEAL then they ought NOT TO PUBLISH it! One’s healing is another’s pain! Generally speaking one should journal their feelings in a private fashion BEFORE publishing anything. Then, that raw emotional stuff NEEDS to be filtered with compassion and love BEFORE ever publishing. If the writer is UNABLE to use compassion and love, for the HURT that would/will be inflicted upon those that they DID NOT INFORM beforehand…the writer is guilty of inflicted great harm via unethical methods!

The use of saying its ‘personal healing’ to demean and hurt others is NOT HEALING. Joan/Doris’s use of ‘tit for tat’ is NOT about healing but about HATE.

Now let’s look again at what  Linda Joy Myers  says in the above…

‘When you put real people in your book, especially if they are identifiable, they should be notified. Even if all the portraits are positive, we’re exposing a real person to the eyes of the world. The convention is to have people read the sections they appear in, if you are on speaking terms. If not, change the names and identifying characteristics, even if that means changing names for the character, the streets, town and anything that exposes them. If published, the legal branch of the publishing company can vet the manuscript as well, but since so many memoirs are self-published, I think it’s important for people to keep these ethics in mind.’

Recapping… Real people were NOT notified, changing name etc was NOT done completely because of the use of the real FAMILY NAMES. The first book Joan had published, she LIED to the publisher by stating all was truth. But when they received evidence from family, they PULLED the book citing that Joan VIOLATED their contract. And so the 2nd and 3rd, editions being SELF-PUBLISHED, the family members are held hostages to Joan/Doris’s versions of OUR LIVES. She does NOT care about ethics!

This is how Joan/Doris feels about ethics, directly from her self-published editions.

exposehate-2

For more information and links where a reader will find the TRUTH…

Here are links to my second blog and a Facebook page wherein I expose AGAIN the lies, fabrications and hate that Joan M Wheeler (Doris Michol Sippel) says about me and family. The first book Forbidden Family, A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism‘ was published in 2009 but then was pulled from publication by the publisher in May 2011, for libelous material within the book. Then in 2015, she ‘self-published’ a ‘revised’ version calling it ‘Forbidden Family, an adoptee duped by adoption’. This woman has no shame no sense of family honor! Then in 2016 Joan changed her name back to her birth name and rewrote and republished the SAME crap in another book; a Third edition! CALLED ‘Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity’! Talk about conning people!

https://gertmcqueen.wordpress.com/   this blog is titled Reclaiming the Sippel-Herr Family Honor

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/

this blog’s title/sub title is… DUPED BY ADOPTION & AN WOMAN’S STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY, A BOOK STUDY an in-depth analyzes of the books called Forbidden Family; My Life as an Adoptee Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.

Also see this Facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/dupedbyadoptionStruggleforIdentity1/

In addition…see the ‘discussion’ forums, on Amazon, for two of the books. The first book has one review and several comments related.

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family-Adoptee-Duped-Adoption/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/-/1/ref=cm_cd_fp_rvt?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW

https://www.amazon.com/gp/forum/cd/forum.html/ref=cm_cd_rvt?ie=UTF8&cdForum=Fx3T0YAD0KXNPP5

review of first book and 4 comments

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family-Joan-M-Wheeler/dp/1412061547

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An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity by Fred Tomasello Jr Review #4 on Doris M Sippel’s replay/act 3 of her ‘memoir’!

It’s amazing how some people believe in their own self-importance!

An exchange on FB…

Fred Tomasello Jr. January 10 at 4:25pm ·

We just saw “Lion.” Doris Michol Sippel, this movie validates your book about the bond between adopted children and their parents so strongly I suspect you may have collaborated on the screenplay. Beautiful, sad, powerful and somewhat of a happy ending.

Doris Michol Sippel Thank you Fred Tomasello Jr.  I saw this movie on my birthday with my daughter. Yes, I think this is the best adoption movie I have ever seen. I wish I had collaborated on the screenplay! But no, I didn’t. yews, this movie validates what adoptees have been saying for decades.

Fred Tomasello Jr. Here is a link to the book and my review: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1…

Doris Michol Sippel Thank you Fred Tomasello Jr.!

Well isn’t that sweet! A mutual admiration! Does show us that Joan/Doris still fancies her ‘story’ worthy of a movie and has convinced others of same! So sad, that there are people that can NOT see the junk within the pages of this garbage book and see nothing wrong with exposing and exploiting two families!

Here now is number 4 on the hit parade!

A Case for Truth and Accuracy, January 11, 2017

By Fred Tomasello Jr.   This review is from: Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity (Kindle Edition)

This book has been updated by the author, has a new cover and the author’s name is now accurate. For most of us, discovering one’s past is a lot of fun and is taken for granted but for an adopted child, this search presents a difficult challenge. The bond between a child and their biological parents is never broken and Doris Michol Sippel’s search for truth has not been easy.

If a birth certificate lists only the adoptive parents as mother and father, how does one find their biological parents and reunite with the rest of their family? Every case is different and Doris details how she found her truth.

“Nobody thought about it. We just wanted a child.” The “it” is adoption. These are the words Joan Wheeler’s adoptive mother told her years later and they equal the preconceived ideas millions of us have about adoption.

A phone call at age 18 started the “reunion” and carries the reader on an emotional roller-coaster lasting decades. The raw, descriptive language connects as secrets and family nuances are revealed, Every page is riveting and the candid details are gut-wrenching. Years of discovery, rejection, introspection, research, maturity and courage merge in Doris’s memoir to become a laser light focused on the importance of truth.

Doesn’t everyone want to know their father, mother, brothers and sisters? The desire to find family never goes away and attempts to do so are often met with accusations of ingratitude. While undergoing years of severe emotional stress, I am amazed that the author was able to write cogently about her families making a strong case for accuracy and truthfulness starting with the birth certificate and for staying in contact with one’s family. An exciting and riveting read, this book is well ahead of it’s time and deeply enhances my understanding of adoption.

Here is the permalink

https://www.amazon.com/review/R4CP8UCC84WZG/ref=cm_cr_rev_detmd_pl?ie=UTF8&asin=B01M1SPJMY&cdForum=Fx17N73TJN9CLRN&cdMsgID=MxO6J3AZH8LYAK&cdMsgNo=1&cdPage=1&cdSort=oldest&cdThread=TxXUUZP11XL8CJ&store=digital-text#MxO6J3AZH8LYAK

My comment…Jan 12, 2017 gert mcqueen says:

If you want truth, it’s not here

Since I first saw this review the reviewer has edited the first draft of his review, fixing certain mistakes and recycling sentences from his original review of the second incarnation of this piece of garbage! Nothing much new can be said about the book now is there?

The author should have informed the buying public of her CHANGE of name before presenting a revision that LOOKS LIKE a NEW book. The author’s name WAS correct and accurate as an adoptee. Changing her name legally back to her birth name, is her right, but does NOT change accuracy but leads to confusion for she is NOT on any family tree of the birth family.

Most of this book, told now three times, is about OTHER people, based on biases of and misrepresentations by the author, for the sole purpose to promote a political agenda; reform of birth certificates. Birth and adopted parents and families should not have their ENTIRE lives exposed, exploited and misrepresented by someone who is discontented with the life they have.

This reviewer’s position, that this book is ‘a strong case for accuracy and truthfulness’ obviously shows that he hasn’t objectively used the art of ‘critical thinking’ while reading and/or comparing the opinions and words of others in their reviews, comments, discussions, not only in this book but the last two versions.

For the author and friends who seem to think that the tragedies that happened to two families will change the course of adoption reform and is riveting and exciting, is not only laughable but shows signs of delusions of grandeur and self-absorption. No one in the great wide world gives a hoot about what this author think or believes. Actually, the overwhelming majority of opinions on this author are quite negative. But hey, if you can’t deal with reality, then by all means, make things up to fit your fantasy; knock yourselves out.

In the meanwhile here are links, on Amazon, that will help others to see what is within the pages of this book.

Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption forum
https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Family-Adoptee-Duped-Adoption/forum/Fx16ZHWP5PQHHCK/-/1/ref=cm_cd_fp_rvt?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B00X520CGW

Joan Mary Wheeler forum
https://www.amazon.com/gp/forum/cd/forum.html/ref=cm_cd_rvt?ie=UTF8&cdForum=Fx3T0YAD0KXNPP5
And here is the link to the FIRST book, it has one review and 4 comments

Forbidden Family
Forbidden Family

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Ruth’s comment Posted on Jan 12, 2017 Ruth Pace says:

“I am amazed that the author was able to write cogently about her families making a strong case for accuracy and truthfulness ”

Accuracy and truthfulness – the author makes a strong case for them — when it pertains to only her. Everybody else’s life is NOT worthy of accuracy and truthfulness.

However, I have posted on my blog, scans of actual police and court documents that prove that the author lies about me in this book. Copies of those documents were sent to Trafford Publications, which had published the first edition of the book – the documents clearly showed libel and Trafford pulled the book from publication. Those inaccuracies and UNtruthfulness (aka LIES) are still in later editions of this book.

The reviewer also writes “An exciting and riveting read, this book is well ahead of it’s time and deeply enhances my understanding of adoption.” — I would like to ask HOW — when almost 50% of the book is about ‘Brenda’ – (me) – every other page is Brenda this, and Brenda that. Is this a book about Joan/Doris’ adoption or is it about the life of Brenda? My marriages are discussed, my miscarriage is mocked (the author states it was good thing because I apparently spent more time on collecting horror movies than I would have paid attention to a child) – that is a judgement call on somebody else’s life, and has nothing to do with anybody’s adoption. Let’s see, what else – oh yes, Joan/Doris describes my belly dancing – again – MY life is all over this book – sorry, I was NOT adopted, therefore, WHY is MY life all over the pages? So yes, I object to this book, and my review is that it is NOT a book about adoption per se, but about an ‘adult’ adoptee’s anger over her adoption and lashing out her birthsiblings (me in particular) and anybody else who ever got on her bad side by disagreeing with her.

But yeah, hey – if Joan/Doris wants to get the word out about ME and make ME famous — HA! come visit me at my facebook under Ruth Herr Sippel Pace – and see my belly dancing pictures.

Posted on Jan 13, 2017 Ruth Pace says:

This book is nothing but the lunatic ravings of a person who is full of anger and hatred over her adoption.

This reviewer suggests that the book makes for a strong case for accuracy and truthfulness – But he fails to see a falsehood committed by the author. The reveiwer says the writer was able to write cogently about her families. Cogently means appealing forcibly to the mind or reason.
I would like that reviewer to apply that to the passage in which the author describes my father telling her (after the author was reunited with her birthfamily) of her mother’s death. The author describes my mothers body at the time of death – that the bandages holding all the rotted insides of her split and the cancer dripped out of her vagina. WHAT?

Any person with congitive awareness would see that as a bunch of nonsense.

Does anyone really believe that at the time of death, a patient’s bandages fall apart and the body’s cancer falls out onto the bed? And cancer drips out of the vagina? Somehow, I don’t think my father spread his newly dead wife’s legs apart to see that.

I have worked 43 years as a nurse’s aide in a major metropolitan hospital and have witnessed many deaths, even to the point of holding a patient’s hands while they died. (cancer patients too). AND I have performed post mortem care on their newly dead bodies. This is cleaning up the body and sending them to the hospital’s morgue. Now, yes, at the time of death muscles do relax, SOMETIMES the bladder and rectum releases substances, and yes, SOMETIMES there has been some drainage from a female’s perineum area.

But I point out again – MY FATHER WOULD NOT HAVE SEEN THAT. And at the time of her death, Joan/Doris was only 3 months old. really. come on.

AND bandages do not fall apart at the moment of death. In 43 years, I have never seen that. If a dressing over a patient’s wound had split open, it must have been a bolt of lightning. Did the author think the guaze bandages were split like the curtains in the temples when Jesus died on the cross? Or was there an alien come busting out of the body at the time of her death? Come on people – get real!

But this is how Joan/Doris honors the woman who gave her life – writing such nonsense.
Only a deranged person would write that nonsense and only an equally deranged person would think that passage constitutes maturity and courage (as he says about the author in the fourth paragraph in his ‘review’ of a garbage book written by a personal friend of his.
I apologize for the graphic content of this comment – but it needed to be brought out into the open exactly what garbage is in this “truthful’ book.

gert mcqueen says: Jan 13, 2017

 WHY apologize? for the graphic content of YOUR comment, the author wrote it, published it and she wants everyone to KNOW her state of mind! This author writes for drama!!! that’s DRAMA!!! The entire book is written for and from the author’s mind of what might have happened, what the textbooks say can happen etc etc…the things she writes about me…NEVER happened, she USED me to present her anti-adoption position. This book is garbage!

Comment Posted on Jan 21, 2017 Ruth Pace says:

On January 11 2017, one of Joan/Doris’ friends, Fred Tomasello Jr, wrote a review, and then on January 14, 2017, another one of Joan/Doris’ friends, Michael Euler also published a review. Fred repeated his previous review of the version “Forbidden Family Duped by Adoption” but added a new paragraph in the beginning. He starts with this sentence: “This book has been updated by the author, has a new cover and the author’s name is now accurate.”
Michael Euler’s first sentance says just about the same thing: “The author of Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity has recently changed her name from Joan Wheeler to Doris Michol Sippel reclaiming her birth name, bringing additional healing to the ongoing process she continues to experience. The new book cover and updating of the book is also part of the process of truth telling.”

I only wish to address these two sentences, both expressing the need for TRUTH and ACCURACY. I, also am for TRUTH AND ACCURACY, and that’s what I said in my review in September 2016 when I showed that Joan/Doris was playing the classic bait and switch with amazon customers? WHERE WAS THE TRUTH AND ACCURACY FOR POTENTIAL BOOK BUYERS?

Fred and Michael are championing for TRUTH and ACCURACY – but only when it comes to ADOPTEES. And that’s NOT the issue here.The issue is Joan/Doris did NOT make it clear to the buying public that “Forbidden Family: An Adopted Woman’s Struggle for Identity” is essentially the same book/product as the book/product called “Forbidden Family Duped by Adoption” — further, there was NO explanation that Doris Michol Sippel was formerly known as Joan Mary Wheeler.

Joan Mary Wheeler legally changing her name to her birth name of Doris Michol Sippel may reflect TRUTH AND ACCURACY for adoptees/adoption issues/adoption reform, but it is NOT TRUTH AND ACCURACY FOR THE BUYING PUBLIC. Fred and Michael need to learn more about consumerism, false advertising, bait and switch, and other scams. And while I have your attention, I have come to see that for many adoptees, TRUTH and ACCURACY applies ONLY to them – the rest of us can have lies told about us, and that’s just fine with them.

Permalink

https://www.amazon.com/review/RNNIVBGG2XF9R/ref=cm_cr_rev_detmd_pl?ie=UTF8&asin=0692780610&cdForum=Fx1U1YQ1W52GSGT&cdMsgID=Mx2052M12DVRDB7&cdMsgNo=2&cdPage=1&cdSort=oldest&cdThread=Tx2BSGK0QNQ3QN3&store=books#Mx2052M12DVRDB7

End

Now, let’s recall what Fred said here..

https://www.amazon.com/review/R3OAN2PTB3OSW9/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B00X520CGW

My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption

By Fred Tomasello Jr. on June 19, 2015

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase

“Nobody thought about it. We just wanted a child.” The “it” is adoption. These are the words Joan Wheeler’s adoptive mother related to her years later and they equal the preconceived ideas about adoption held by me and millions of others.

A phone call at age 18 starts the “reunion” and carries the reader on an emotional roller-coaster that continues for decades. The raw, descriptive language connects as secrets and family nuances are revealed. Every page is riveting and the candid details are gut wrenching. Long years of discovery, rejection, introspection, research, maturity and courage merge Joan’s memoir into a laser light focusing on the pure importance of truth.

While undergoing years of severe emotional stress, I am amazed that Ms. Wheeler was miraculously able to write cogently about her families. Her clarity and conclusions enhanced my understanding of adoption. As Joan’s natural father admitted years later, “But if I had education, none of this would have happened.”

End

Obviously, this ‘true’ (wink, wink, sneaker, sneaker, yeah right) book is NOT being read by anyone in the main stream, not even within the adoption reform communities! I keep saying…Joan/Doris is NOT WELCOMED.

also see…

https://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/2017/01/21/joan-mary-wheeler-aka-doris-michol-sippel-gets-two-of-her-clueless-friends-to-put-new-reviews-of-her-book-on-amazon/

and the first blog post about the first three reviews…

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2017/01/24/theres-not-one-positive-review-or-comment-reviews-1-2-3-on-doris-m-sippels-new-book-an-adopted-womans-struggle-for-identity/

and another friend’s review

https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2017/02/15/an-adopted-womans-struggle-for-identity-by-m-euler-review-5-on-doris-m-sippels-replayact-3-of-her-memoir/