‘I understand people’s need for privacy.’ Says Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel.


Unfortunately that is FALSE! She is a liar, incapable of telling the truth about her families. Joan hasn’t a clue about anyone’s privacy, for she doesn’t care about others. It’s all about HER and HER privacy, while she fabricates lives about family members, for others, to promote her political agenda against adoption.

On a Facebook group page, Adoption Sucks, on July 10, 2017, someone asked a question; Is there anyone else on here who has a diagnosed mental illness?

The Facebook page’s link is…  https://www.facebook.com/groups/10484382277/

Now this particular Facebook page is a PUBLIC PAGE. Anyone who writes anything, on any public social media site or on a blog or a comment, anywhere, CANNOT expect privacy. Their postings, comments, likes etc. are OUT THERE for PUBLIC viewings. And of course the same goes for any printed book or e-book and as such is ALWAYS subject to PUBLIC scrutiny and discourse. I myself have two public blogs and one public Facebook page dedicated to the words and works of Joan/Doris. I also have the public right to comment, review and have discussions on Amazon, or any other company, on ANY item they publish and/or sell.

So of course, there were comments on the thread… ‘Is there anyone else on here who has a diagnosed mental illness?’ Joan/Doris said some things that went beyond inappropriateness, violating OUR FAMILY’S privacy. Ruth commented.

Ruth wrote a blog about the ‘fallout’. It can be found here…


This post of mine will address more specific points. I will be adding my own observations about the comments after each appears here, in this post, as Gert observes…

Please take NOTE of the times of when Daryl Bergmann posted on Doris Michol Sippel’s comment and when he commented/posted on Ruth’s comment…seems to be some special treatment given to Joan/Doris!

2017 Leslie Dann July 10 at 3:26pm

Is there anyone else on here who has a diagnosed mental illness? I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 19 after I went manic and saw hallucinations. I have been taking my medication for years, faithfully, but this past year I have been hospitalized three times for depression. I don’t know why except there are external factors, such as no support system and a job I’m just doing to get my pension. I told bfather about how I hadn’t been doing so well lately and he hasn’t answered my email. I think if you admit to being unhappy (even if you have a mental illness) they just don’t want to hear it. It upsets their adoption apple cart. Anyone else I would have told that to would have said that they were there to talk or reach out to. Bfather: silence. More disappointment.

Gert observes…

Adoptees are NOT the only people that get NOTHING from family or friends. All I see here is just another self-pity party. I have had many down times in my life, had my cries, and then I got up and just went on. NO I do NOT have any kind of mental illness! And I’ve been fairly healthy all my life. So I’m very GRATEFUL for my life! Personally, I find the over use of social media to self-diagnosis and medicate and have pity-parties rather useless, but hey that’s just me!

Doris Michol Sippel I have C-PTSD, depression, anxiety. My adoptive mother had several diagnosed mental illnesses for which I was treated in order to learn how to cope with her behavior. My adoptive father was her enabler. The rest of my adoptive father’s family (not all, thank goodness) all piled on the band wagon to emotionally abuse me after my reunion, so gang mentality increased my fear, anxiety, PTSD from their attacks. My natural blood family have undiagnosed mental illness, their attacks upon me are also responsible for my C-PTSD. July 16 at 7:59am

Gert observes…

Well, she is narcissistic and therefore cannot help herself…it’s all about her! Joan/Doris’s mental illness mostly likely came from the DRUG that mother was taking during the pregnancy to ‘hold’ the fetus, that and her premature birth…so yes she was damaged in the womb, coupled with, LEARNED BEHAVIORS from the adoptive family and the abuse she suffered from someone in that family. Life can be a bitch! And reading too many book etc. can create things in our minds that are not really there…we all make own forms of hell!

Joan/Doris does NOT have any evidence for her claim that the birth family had any kind of mental illnesses; diagnosed or un-diagnosed. To state this is yet another one of her lies and fabrications to justify her version of how she was treated by ANYONE. She has been telling lies and fabrications all over the Internet and in PRINT for decades. To ‘sue’ her would be useless, that is why we have blogs to counter her lies.

NO ONE in the birth family even attacked her! YES, she was argued with, yelled at, told to shut up, get lost, was KICKED out of several birth families’ homes, including at least 5 times by father BEFORE she got the hint and stopped; that’s why she wrote the book in the first place, to get even for some perceived harms. But, no one even attacked her, in any way. She is her own worst enemy! She never takes RESPONSIBILITY for any of her own words or deeds.

Just because she claims a ‘thing’ doesn’t mean it happened! She has claimed many absurdities and none are true! She NEVER thought that the birth siblings would counter her book! She didn’t count on the reality of pay-back from those she maligned. She would NEVER have heard from me again once I divorced her in 1980, but NO, she had to…write and published a book, a lying book, in 2009. Since that time birth siblings have been and will continue to expose her words and deeds…that is NOT attacking its KARMA BABY.

Daryl Bergmann I note that you have identified no members of your natural blood family by name nor stated which side may suffer, maternal or paternal.  😉 Not asking, only making an observation.  · July 17 at 1:32am

Gert observes…

NOTE the time of this comment of Daryl’s (July 17 @ 1:32 pm). He placed that comment AFTER he was alerted to Ruth’s comment and after Joan/Doris’s ‘comeback’ of July 17 at 12:05am

Beyond that, EVERYONE knows who Joan/Doris’s birth family members are, for SHE publicly NAMED us years ago! So Daryl if you are making an observation, perhaps the clue you MISSED was the NAMES!

As Ruth said, in other places, Joan/Doris… promotes her ‘adoption’ with ‘a picture of her two dead birth parents as her personal mascots’! Those two parents are OURS! Joan/Doris OUTED us decades ago and continues to use our parents as PERSONAL MASCOTS!

BTW…just because someone CAN sue doesn’t mean that they CAN! Joan/Doris doesn’t have a cent to her name, nothing of $$$ value to get from a law-suit, and she doesn’t have the $$$ to sue anyone…so the point is mute. She said, we said! She writes a book or two or three, we have a blog or two or three. Our READERSHIP far exceeds her sales and readership of her books. NO author in mainstream adoption reform PROMOTES her works or gets her at conferences and there’s no movie producer looking to make a movie out of her book/life; clue here…that was her BIGGEST dream, to have a movie made of her life… oh excuse me…OUR LIVES!

Daryl Bergmann Yeah. Doris doesn’t mention a name. Then boom, immediately on the defense to deny any form of mental illness pops up Ruth with a prepared novel for that exact purpose. Says a lot. Far more than intended. Adoption really does suck.  · July 16 at 3:50pm

Gert observes…

As I just said, what everyone seems to FORGET is that Doris doesn’t have to MENTION a name, for she has been spreading falsehoods about birth family members for years and she wrote THREE books about us! Ruth, or anyone else, has the RIGHT to confront the statements said about her and her family, as do I! Just as the Facebook page Adoption Sucks has its own opinions on the subject of adoption, OTHERS have their own opinions and rights to object to falsehoods, whether Daryl or others object. Yes of course, he has the right to monitor the page etc. but that doesn’t give him any position to lessen or DEMEAN Ruth’s opinions or position.

Let’s remember that Joan/Doris has her own ‘prepared novel for that exact purpose’ and she uses it every time she goes to pro-adoption sites or adoptive parent sites or any place that she opposes. If Joan can do it, so can Ruth! Remember public viewings are subject to public opinions and sharing…Deal with it!

Ruth Herr Sippel Pace I am Ruth Sippel Pace – birth sister of Doris Michol Sippel – I do not have any mental illness. I recently retired from a 43 year career as a Patient Care Assistant at a large metropolitan general hospital. During those 43 years, I worked on several me…See More  July 16 at 1:49pm

Gert observes…

Remember to see Ruth’s blog post (link above) for the full text of the thread. There was NOTHING wrong with Ruth identifying herself while coming forth and putting truth to a malicious lie! It seems to me that hate-filled adoptees DO NOT want to see the damage that they do to family members. Double standards here!

Doris Michol Sippel In case you all are wondering where I’ve been…I’ve been quietly living my life today. Breakfast, laundry, church, lunch with a friend, grocery shopping, answered long distance phone call, prepared for work tomorrow, went to an outdoor concert, came back to this. Yes, I long ago blocked Ruthie and Gert so I cannot see their comments. All I see are the words of others talking to Ruth. Imagine being found at age 18 in 1974 by these weird women! I was in my senior year of high school, got enmeshed in their problems, got swept up in everyone’s anger at me, so I lashed back, until I sought therapy. I still cannot understand why we all have made it clear many decades ago that we want nothing to do with each other – and they still hunt me down. I do nothing to them.They attack other adoptees. …Ruth is 63 or 64, Gert is 70. I am 61. You see the content of my writing. Who has mental illness? Who admits to struggling? Me. As Daryl Bergmann said, NOT ME. Who is in denial?   · July 17 at 12:05am

Gert observes…

Oh yes we were wondering, so how very nice of her to show us all her ‘normal everyday life’! Typical technique of hers, the birth family knows them all too well, as do those that she has doubled crossed. Yes, this is how Joan/Doris continues with her unique brand of demonizing those that ‘found’ her as she spins her tale of being just a normal gal.

Right, her sisters are ‘weird women’. She ‘got enmeshed in their problems, got swept up in everyone’s anger at me, so I lashed back, until I sought therapy’! Wow! Isn’t that terrible? We four siblings and then father, only FOUND her so we could manipulate her into our problems! Right, sure, tell me another fairy tale! And OUR anger swept up and gathered Joan/Doris into a whirlwind that she HAD to lash back at! Yep, right, ok! wink, wink, So thanks for clarify that for me as I wasn’t paying any attention to HER seeing that SHE violated my privacy and my children’s etc.!

And therapy? She was in it BEFORE we knew her! She’s been in it for her ENTIRE LIFE! That’s a sure sign of mentally illness that is NOT controlled. She uses her conditions to promote her negative agenda against adoption…but hey go have your fun!

She may have blocked us long ago, but she still READS our blogs and adjusts what she says and prints accordingly. I know for I’ve dissected her writing now and see those changes with EACH version of that lying book of hers and various things she blogs about! She even imitates our choices of words and phrases. BUT unless a person makes Joan/Doris a subject to watch you would NOT know that!

We don’t have anything to do with her! I haven’t seen her since 1992! We just tell the truth to her lies! That is what she can’t stop! Hunt her down!!?? There’s a mental illness speaking here! We don’t attack other adoptees! We do comment to and about adoptees just like millions of other people do.

Joan/Doris is SO INTO numbers, dates, ages, years of this that and the other thing. Is there something special here I’m missing? Oh yeah…she’s been at this a long time, so she knows what she’s talking about…wait I have to vomit!

Ruth and I are NOT denying a thing! We are NOT mentally ill, no one in our family has been, except JOAN/DORIS and I already told HOW that happened.

If Ruth can hold a job for 43 years and I could hold a job for 37 years how did we MANAGE that if we were mentally ill?? (btw I RETIRED EARLY so if I had worked till 65 I would have had 43 years as well…but I took a pension early!)

Joan/Doris had NEVER HELD a job long, is on disability because of her mental illness. Whom would you believe?

Daryl Bergmann She wasn’t even named, and she posts a diatribe demanding the “slanderous and libelous” post (slander is a verbal spoken statement made with one’s mouth and vocal cords – hard to do that in a typed post) be removed. As she was not identified in any way, there is no libel either. This administrator will be leaving all ‘evidence’ as is.   July 17 at 1:08am

Gert observes…

Let it be known that Joan/Doris herself has claimed that she has been victimized by ‘slanderous and libelous’ posts by her birth siblings. EVERYONE knows the different between the two words, Daryl. Obviously you NEEDED something to contribute to throw at Ruth! Daryl would do WELL to read everything that Joan/Doris has written to LEARN about her. Then, read the ‘other side of things’, our blogs, comments and reviews, to LEARN the truth. But you are not interested in that…of course.

As I’ve stated several times here, Joan/Doris USES our family name, she has identified us EVERY WHERE. It is common knowledge to hateful and angry adoptees whom are her siblings. If YOU didn’t know that that just shows your ignorance of Joan/Doris. We are GLAD that you have kept the ‘evidence’ for that makes it and keeps it in that PUBLIC SPACE that is available to all, not just adoptees. If you think that there are none that find these comments offensive then you really don’t know all your viewers and certainly not mine!

Doris Michol Sippel Can anyone copy and paste all comments, including Ruth’s comments, in a Word doc and email the whole thread to me? dorismicholsippel@gmail.com … Thank you. July 17 at 12:07am

Gert observes…

If Joan/Doris doesn’t want anything to do with us, then WHY does she want a copy of what Ruth said here? Why, because she believes that she is UNDER ATTACK and it’s her ‘evidence’. Joan has no concept that it is she who has VIOLATED the birth family’s PRIVACY, not only here, but everywhere! Whenever Joan/Doris speaks about her birth family she violates their privacy! She does it to her adoptive family as well. Joan doesn’t GET IT that she is ATTACKING us when she negates our positions and opinions, when she resorts to name-calling and with her volumes of lies and fabrications. She cannot accept that we will COUNTER her lies! So did everyone get Joan/Doris’s email address?? She made it PUBLIC!

Laurel Jenkins-Crowe I hope it’s OK for me to put in that I for one would like to know what would be done with that document. Could it be anonymized?   July 17 at 7:48am

Gert observes…

And why is this person CONCERNED? Is she worried that she will be named? Well…yes she is being named…I expose all those that give support to Joan/Doris’s attacks upon me and family.

Doris Michol Sippel I’d like a full account of what Ruth wrote. Yes, it could be anonymized. And, someone already copied it for me. Thank you. I’m sorry my adoption peeps have to see this harassment. I don’t see why my life is such an obsession with Ruth and Gert. · July 17 at 5:38pm

Gert observes…

Harassment??!!! Yep that what she thinks opposing opinions are! Anyone who continues to put TRUTH to Joan/Doris’s lies is harassing her!

I don’t see why my life is such an obsession with Ruth and Gert.’ Joan/Doris your life is NOT an obsession with us…we don’t give one THOUGHT about your life! Your life means NOTHING to us! What we do CARE ABOUT is your constant violation of our privacy and your continued lying and fabricating. We also CARE ABOUT you USING, EXPOSING AND EXPLOITING our PARENTS!

Laurel Jenkins-Crowe Thank you! I’m glad the request wasn’t offensive.  July 17 at 6:09pm

Gert observes…

Why would this person think her request was offensive? Perhaps she has a bit of a conscious? Like, perhaps maybe Joan/Doris is in the WRONG to be asking for a copy of comment by a person that she has BANNED AND BLOCKED. If Joan/Doris wants to see what Ruth or Gert has to say, perhaps she ought to come out from under that rock and face us like a woman and not some cheap cheat!

Doris Michol Sippel Laurel Jenkins-Crowe Not at all. I understand people’s need for privacy. July 18 at 8:27am

Gert observes…

Two faced forked tongue that Joan/Doris is! Anyone can see that by her request for a copy of a person’s comment, which she blocked, that Joan/Doris is a coward! And then hides behind false virtue!

Unlike mentally ill people, who take meds and/or are in therapy, can’t hold down a job, can’t accept their life, and can’t accept opposing opinions or those that don’t agree with them…SANE, rational people see the truth, reality, are NOT afraid of voicing their objections to their privacy being violated, exposed and exploited for some pet project of the mentally ill individual and friends. Joan/Doris does not get a ‘free get out of jail’ card because she admits she is mentally ill. She gets the distinction of NON-credibility!



she should finish that sentence thusly: “I understand people’s need for privacy, except my birth sisters – or my entire birth family, Or my adopted family – or my ex-husband, or anybody (including angry adoptees) who pissed me off in my life — I will plaster their names and lie about them all over my libelous book and the internet.


Why is it that Joan M Wheeler, duped by adoption, is not on, or recognized by, mainstream adoptee written books? Because she’s a bottom feeder!

And she is full of hate, angry, bitterness and more! No one likes that! Joan tells her stories, over and over again, anywhere she can. But here let’s see her on Yahoo!

I saw a news story that Joan commented on about August 31, 2015. I got curious so I took a look around. I had forgotten that Joan’s name on Yahoo is ‘adopteefedup’. Yep she’s fed-up and she’s going to let the world know it!  I present here three different news stories, in which I also commented briefly. Even though the first one is about a year ago, it still is very enlightening, as is the second and third, which are more recent. Take note of how Joan doesn’t ‘register’ the negative vibes she is putting out, or the comments that are said to her and how she insults those that comment to her. She just is blind to all except her own sense of outrage, anger, hate and wants everyone to know it.

Writing her life, in two books, now, just isn’t enough for her. She has to tell everyone everywhere, as she continues to rewrite her latest bullshit book! I don’t have to give any commentary…Joan’s words, the words of others, and her responses TELL IT ALL.

Story number one… (after the first mention of the date I will delete it)



adopteefedup 1 year ago

Adoption’s purpose was to protect the child’s rights to a family in a financially secure environment. ADULTS do not need to be adopted. FORMALLY putting on paper what is in your heart – about the people who raised you – should not mean sealing one’s real birth certificate and replacing it with a piece of paper that fictionally replaces one set of parents with another. This is magical thinking at its best.

How about this: I want my REAL mother and father to be certified as my parents by my government on my REAL birth certificate. But the government took away their rights to be named as my parents because I was adopted one year after my birth. My REAL mother died of cancer three months after my birth. She did not know she would be removed from my life in such a cold and formal way. Respect for the dead? Not for my mother. Another woman is named on my new, amended – falsified – birth certificate, indicating that SHE gave birth to me at the hospital and date and time that my actual birth took place.

There is no feel-good story for me on Christmas about getting what is in my heart. I lost my mother to her early death when I was three months old. The birth certificate with her name on it is sealed by my government for all eternity. I can never have it. My legal birth certificate is a lie.

And, this man here in this article, he will suffer the loss of his rights to his actual birth certificate. He will then be issued a document that in no way represents the truth of his birth.

To rectify this, I, and millions of adoptees in America, want our sealed birth certificates released to us, without restriction, without deletions, and with state certification. And, we want the end to the production of false birth certificates. Adoption certificates will tell the truth. Both documents need to be open to the adoptee. And, we need to stop this stupid idea of adult adoption: utter nonsense.

Commenter 1 year ago  This bitterness that you carry will never do you any good.


VJAG: this is not bitterness. You do not have 40 years of experience in adoption reform as I do. You do not know the laws in every state as I do. You do not have a social work degree, as I do. You are not adopted, as I am. You do not have two birth certificates, as I do. You have not had your actual birth certificate stolen from you by your state’s government, as was done to me and 7 to 10 million adoptees. You do not have a falsified birth certificate, as I do, because when a child is adopted (or in this case in this article) a new, amended, falsified birth certificate is made by the government to cover up illegitimacy and to protect adoptive parents from interference by the natural parents. I am not alone in the world-wide adoptee uprising to lobby our governments, write letters to legislators, organize public demonstrations like The Adoptee Rights Demonstartion held annually outside the convention of national legislators. When you have gathered yourself together, fought off descrimination as long as I have, VJAG, then you can throw out accusations of bitterness. THIS IS FACT: EVERY SINGLE ADOPTEE IN USA HAS A FALSE BIRTH CERTIFICATE AND THE ORIGINAL IS LOCKED UP, SEALED, AND CAN NEVER BE OPENED AGAIN. This has nothing to do with love or the lack of love. This is a civil rights issue. The fact that other adoptees are not on here commenting is that this story hit on Christmas when most people are busy with families. I did my day with relatives and took time to point out the facts on yet another “Slap Happy Feel-Good Adoption Story”. I’ve been at this for 40 years, VJAG. I suggest you go back into your cave and get an education. People like you hold back progress by slinging anti-adoptee accusations around. Your statement to me is prejudice that I, and my fellow activists, have felt since the reform movement began in 1953. Merry Christmas.

Jennifer *I* am adopted (at age 5 no less and well aware of the proceedings in my memory since I wasn’t an infant like yourself) – 35 years ago give or take so I’m qualified to speak on this from personal experience.

You drip and seeth bitterness in every word you type here. Let it go. Claimed false or not – what will it do for you to have your original birth certificate? Why do you allow something as insignificant as what is written on a piece of paper fuel such negative emotions? Whether you agree with how the process works or not – you do not speak for all adoptees. You do not speak for me.

I know what is printed on my first-issued birth certificate (notice I don’t call it my “real” birth certificate) and I have my second-issued certificate. I see it as nothing more than a form I have to show on occassion to process paperwork just like my SS card. I have had nothing “stolen” from me and I wouldn’t change a thing about my childhood or my life.

My sister-in-law, like the gentleman in this article, is an adult adoptee also – adopted by her foster parents by her request when she was 24 years old and had been married to my brother for six years already. Pretty sure she wouldn’t agree with your point of view either. As an adoptee, I am not a victim – don’t drag us all down into your private pit of despair and hate. This is a big world filled with love; spread it around.

Commenter Well said, Jennifer, well said. Thank you.

Gert adopteefedup is bitter, she’s one with her pain!


Story number two (after the first mention of the date I will delete it)


adopteefedup 7 months ago

To BirdsOfAFeather – Adoption does not cure infertility. Adoption covers up the underlying infertility issues. Taking someone else’s child as your own is a denial of the facts. However, legal guardianship provides a home for a child in need while keeping that child’s birth certificate and identity and connections to family of birth intact.


I can only hope that friends and family will help this father keep his babies. This is a tremendous loss. He will need help to take care of these four infants as they grow. Please, please please – no one tell this father that he can’t take care of his children! My screen name is there for a reason – I was the 5th child born to married parents. I was born at 32 weeks gestation. Our mother died three months later. Losing Mom was bad enough, but then a Catholic priest told Dad that “the baby needs two parents.” So Dad gave me up for adoption. I was raised an only child. Lost my entire family. That cannot happen to this father and these babies. Please, don’t let that happen.

Commenter Were your adoptive parents good to you? Why are you so bitter to them?

Commenter That is sad, but did you love your adoptive family? Were they kind to you, and did they love you back? They count, too! It is not their fault that your dad was pressured into this mistake.

Commenter Why didn’t your dad just remarry? I know a couple guys that were remarried within a few months after being widowed…. Nothing wrong with that. Life goes on for the living…

Commenter I agree adopteefedup. Also ive seen teens who are manipulated into giving their babies up by adoption agencys who make a ton of money off them. I have also heard that in the 60’s church leaders use to force teens to give up their newborn. Teens had no choice and yet teens gave birth to most of the children throughout history.

Commenter @Oliver. You are correct that in the 60’s church leaders did in fact force unwed mothers to give up there newborns.

Commenter and those priests probably got paid for those babies

Commenter I don’t think ir was meant for women to have 4, 5, and 6 babies at once. Twins and once in awhile triplets. This thing has gone to far with the medical world.

Commenter My heart goes out to you and reading this story brings home the importantance of family… to Carol you would be very surprised what a priest would or would not say. When I was a teenager I was raped and impreginated by my rapist. regardless of how i concieved it was still my child unfortunately my daughter was born at 24 weeks and did not survive. My families priest stated that he would not see over the service for my daughter becuase of the “circumstances”… and that he told me to my face… not every priest or church has the families interest at heart… js…

Commenter Carol – You are in a dream world if you believe that. Priests and nuns are notorious for saying very twisted things, to suit their own agenda.

Rebecca – Maybe the father didn’t have anyone waiting for him to remarry. Maybe he wasn’t going to run out and just marry anyone. Ever think of that?


Nice slap in the face to the parents who adopted you.

Commenter Bless Your Heart!!!!!! You sound like an Amazing Person!!!! May God Bless YOU!!!! Sending you Much Heartfelt Love!!!!!!!! XOXO

Commenter I agree with you, adopteefedup. The birth families suffer the loss as well. Adoption trauma affects multiple generations. I lost my daughter to adoption during the Baby Scoop Era. I was angry for a long time afterwards. I won’t go into detail, but suffice to say back in the so-called “swinging” 60s and the lie about how free we all were in sex. Most of we “fallen” women were just from middle-income families that bowed to societal pressure or were just unwilling to help their daughters. As we say in adoptionland, “no option is not a choice”. Go easy on your adoptive parents. Forgiveness will set you free. You are not alone. If you are in contact with your real family (bio), then bless you. Maybe one day, my daughter will heal.

Commenter She has no reason to “go easy” on the people who adopted her. She should be THANKING them. They did nothing wrong. Unless (in her mind) they weren’t rich enough, or permissive enough, whatever enough. And she has some “perfect” image in her mind of how her life “would have been” with the family who gave her away. Then she needs to grow up and get over herself. And apologize to the people who WANTED her for being such an ungrateful self-centered brat.

adopteefedup part 1

Tessa: Thank you for your kind words. Thank you to those who understand the dark side of adoption. The negative remarks, however, are exactly what I’ve heard for the past 41 years.

To clarify: In 1974, I was found by 4 older siblings I was never supposed to know. I was 18 then and still in high school. I was raised an only child. There is little space here to tell what happened next. I was in deep emotional turmoil for most of my adult life, pushed and pulled by adopted relatives and natural blood relatives, everyone telling me what I should or should or should not do. I was traumatized by being found, traumatized by learning that the parents whom I loved dearly lied to me and willfully kept me from my full blood siblings. THAT is the point I made in my Original Post: that the father of these 4 infants should not lose not even one of his babies to adoption because THAT is the tragedy beyond the untimely death of his wife and mother of these 4 premature infants. So, while people are busy condemning me, perhaps you need to consider that I actually have put my entire adult life into defending infants and children who are at risk from permanent separation due to the finality of adoption.

adopteefedup part 2

I am no more grateful for being adopted than I am for being born. Had my mother lived, I would have been raised by my mother and father and enjoyed a life with the family I was born into. I was raised, however, in a loving home, fully believing that my parents were my parents. But the love I had for them and the love they had for me was conditional. As long as I did not know that I had 4 older full blood siblings in the same city, all was fine because my adoptive parents wanted me all to themselves. ALL of my extended adoptive family were in on the deception. When the truth was told to me at age 18, all hell broke loose. I was hated for accepting my natural family back into my life. And yes, my natural father tearfully told me that he listened to his Parrish priest who told him that “the baby needs two parents”. He did what he thought was best; I hold no ill feelings toward him. My father did remarry. He kept the older kids but the newborn needed a full time caregiver.


I’m sorry, Brenda Marshall, for what you lived through being raped, then the priest would not hold services for your baby. How cruel. It is a man’s world. There is little respect for women and mothers or the children of single mothers.

InnocenceFaded: You are ignorant of the facts of my life. Unless you know what really happened inside my adoptive home, you have no business condemning me. Your statement that my adoptive parents “did nothing wrong” – how do you know? They were not innocent! My adoptive parents knew the truth and deliberately lied to me. Everyone in my adoptive family knew the truth but me: well over 300 relatives conspired against me to keep my natural family from me. Harassment continued well after my mother’s death in 2011, after which I changed my phone number. There are but a few adoptive cousins and a few natural blood relatives I am close to now.


InnocenceFaded: You said: “Unless (in her mind) they weren’t rich enough, or permissive enough, whatever enough. And she has some “perfect” image in her mind of how her life “would have been” with the family who gave her away. Then she needs to grow up and get over herself. And apologize to the people who WANTED her for being such an ungrateful self-centered brat.”

Well, well, well, you sure do know how to insult an adopted person. I’m a self-centered brat? You know me personally, do you? You know adoption psychology, sociology, social work, policy and law, do you? How many years have you been researching adoption? Zero I bet. I know more about all of this than you do. I wrote my Original Post in a sincere effort to keep this family together and you blast me for your opinions that I have “some “perfect” image in my mind… I deal in reality, not fantasy. And my natural family had plenty of problems. They are far from perfect. No family is perfect. I simply made the point that I do not want these infants to lose more than their mother, as I did.

Commenter Same thing happened in my family 50 years ago. My family was Protestant. My aunt eloped right after high school with a Catholic man. She died in childbirth with her 6th child. Our family wanted to adopt the children but the Church refused. Instead, they split up the kids and adopted them out to Catholic families. I never saw them again. I often wonder if the kids have managed to find each other by now. So sad.


Janet, yes that is very sad. To others, they see adoption as the main goal. To the children who are siblings, adoption destroys their family so that a new one can be built. Or, in the case you describe, 6 new adoptive families were “built”. Adoption workers see this as “family building”. While the victims of adoption – the children and their helpless father – see their family destroyed by adoption. It is very sad that certain fathers are seen as unfit to raise their children.

Today, it is a little different. Most adoption agencies will not split up sibling groups as they did 50 years ago. My sibling group was split up 59 years ago. Yes, my father made the decision. But he did so after his Parrish priest suggested the idea. Instead of sending Catholic Charities to help take care of all five children, the mindset was to give the infant to two strangers who were declared parents by legal decree.

It fascinates me to read condemning comments from people who assume I am disloyal to my adoptive parents, that I didn’t love them, or that others tell me what I “should” do, or that I am too young to know what’s “best”. I was born in 1956, adopted in 1957. I am a former crisis social worker, which means I have social work and psychology back ground. I have studied adoption for 41 years. The shift now is on keeping sibling groups together. And with donations after this media news story, I’m sure this father will have enough money to hire child care workers so that he can keep his family together.

Commenter Catholic priests have screwed up more people and look at them with their high morals – not

Commenter Adoptee – I have known many people who were adopted, and NONE have shown the bitter, vile attitude towards their adoptive parents that you show.

“well over 300 relatives conspired against me to keep my natural family from me” Really? Sounds like you have some severe mental issues, that have nothing to do with adoption. (Not to mention, I don’t know anyone with over 300 relatives. You’re saying they got your uncle’s brother-in-law’s cousin’s mother in on it too?)

Did you ever think maybe your adoptive parents didn’t tell you out of SINCERE love? Maybe they didn’t want you to feel “different”? No. You just have bitter feelings towards them, and can’t possibly think it was anything other than some “conspiracy” against you. They are much better off without you, if they are still alive. (Just wondering. If they have died, and left any type of property/estate, did you donate all the assets to charity? Since you want nothing to do with them. Or did you grab the money?)

By the way. In one post, you said you were raised in a loving home. In another, you claim your adoptive parents were “abusive”. Which is it?

Commenter I forgot to ask – how did the “over 300 relatives” pull off the “conspiracy”? Did they fly on from all over, and book a meeting hall to plan it all out? And did you ever think that maybe others (aunts, uncles, etc) didn’t tell you because they knew it wasn’t their place to?

My cousin married a woman who had a six month old baby when they met. After marriage, he adopted that baby. She has always known him as her daddy. (Her own father signed his rights away. He said he had no interest in being a father.) I have no idea if they have told her the truth yet, or when they plan to tell her. But I do know that it is in no way my place to go and blurt it out to her.

Gert  august 31  adopteefedup is looking for sympathy…what she says is not the whole truth, the church had nothing to do with father’s decision to give her up into adoption, after his wife and our mother died he proposed a marriage to another woman, there were 7 children to think about, this second wife REFUSED to take the infant (adopteefedup) and father felt ‘out of sight out of mind’ and placed her with a couple that wanted a child…it was a private adoption where both families knew each other and that’s how we found her…worst mistake of our lives…she hates adoption and browbeats anyone who adopts, including me when I and husband adopted my son, that’s why I banned her in my life. she is a bitter angry person beware


Story number 3 August 26, 2015


adopteefedup 11 days ago

This has nothing to do with being gay or lesbian, this is about adoption and an adoptee’s desire to re-connect with her natural mother and the natural mother’s desire to connect with her natural-born daughter. It also has to do with Rosie’s parenting style.

Gert 9 days ago  funny how when adopteefedup did reconnect with her birth family all she did was cause troubles, so much so that everyone in the family kicked her out! one who lives in glass houses should not throw stones…adopteefedup’s parenting skills are nothing to brag about…oh she knew more about what was good for my kids when I chose to adopt…


A melodramatic ABOUT page, on Joan M Wheeler’s Facebook page, of her fantasy ‘truth’; she is, after all, an adoptee extraordinaire, duped by adoption!

She cannot separate herself from the birth family, so by extension, my life, my children’s lives and all of my family’s lives, are bound up, unfortunately, with Joan’s inner life, her fantasies and dramas, as well as, how and what she writes about us. To my mind, that gives me all the ‘rights’ I need to answer anything that she says about me and my family! Don’t like that; too bad!

The following is on the ‘about page’ of her Facebook page for Forbidden Family, now renamed Duped by Adoption



Joan’s words are (J) and my comments are (Gert’s comment)

(J)…Born the youngest of five children to married parents in 1956, four month old Doris Michol Sippel is relinquished to pre-adoptive parents by her father following her mother’s death. She becomes Joan Mary Wheeler through a private (non-agency) closed adoption.

Gert’s comment…This is correct. But what is missing is WHY. Our father knew his wife, and the mother of all five of us siblings was dying in January 1956, a couple of weeks after Doris was born. His solution was to have a marriage, to another woman, of convenience to both partners. She had 2 children, he had 5 children. But, she would NOT take the infant. So the next solution was to place the infant into adoption. Yes, our father sought advice from his priest, as many of us do. He was NOT pressured in any matter by the priest/church. Yes, members of his wife’s family knew someone who wanted a child to adopt. Yes, a ‘private (non-agency) closed adoption’ occurred.  This was his decision at that time. There was NO way that our father would have allowed any form of ‘guardianship’ of his child within the extended family, period. He always said, ‘if I can’t raise her, no one in the family will’.

Contrary to what Joan maintains, NO ONE approached him at his wife’s funeral. Simply because there was not, at that moment, a decision made about the ‘next’ marriage, or anything else. It was AFTER the first wife’s burial, when the decision was finally made and arrangements were made to transfer the infant, from maternal care-givers to the potential adoptive parents. He always said, to me, – ‘it had to be and was done quickly, out of sight out of mind’. Unfortunately he did not realize that I, the oldest, would remember that infant. Then our father remarried in June 1956, three months after the death of the first wife. Just prior to that there were arrangements to get all remaining six children to move in with my father and his second wife. We, four birth siblings, were living with grandparents. One of the two children of second wife remained with his grandmother.

(J)…Joan grows up an only child in a modest suburban home with loving parents, private schools, and a large extended family. In her senior year of high school, Joan answers a phone call that changes her perception of family: she is found by siblings she was never supposed to know. Shocked, Joan realizes that her parents knew the secret yet deliberately lied to her.

Gert’s comment… The ‘secret’ is that, unfortunately for those two people who adopted Joan, they, and others, KNEW the birth family. That’s what happens in ‘a private (non-agency) closed adoption’; the families know each other. Now, decades and two libelous books later, I can state that no such adoption ought to occur; it causes too much pain. Beyond that it has been my opinion, as well as others, that once Joan ‘learned’ of this secret, she used it against the adoptive parents, particularly the mother. It is my opinion that Joan was abused in the adoptive family. Joan herself documents many episodes in her writings and books. Once Joan knew about this ‘secret’ she used it as a hammer to hit them over the head, year after year, up to and including the death bed! Joan is so easily ‘shocked’ by the actions and words of others, but is never aware of her own words and deeds. Joan is always the victim, never the aggressor.


(J)…Joan’s life becomes a mix of anxiety, confusion, joy, grief and anger. She juggles two sets of real parents and families while attending college. She joins adoptees’ support groups and begins writing about adoptees’ rights in local newspapers at age 19, despite disapproval of many members of her two families. Criticism turns to mocking, false accusations, hate mail and phone calls, and death threats as Joan tries to make sense of her life. Terrorized for decades, Joan is driven to the brink of suicide. She climbs out, only to be dragged down repeatedly by abusive relatives from both families who invade her life. When her marriage deteriorates, she leaves her husband and lives in poverty with their two children. She earns a second college degree, begins a career path then succumbs to stress-induced illnesses.

Gert’s comment…Beyond the fact that she likes to rewrite and rewrite her story she loves to dramatize it with tons of adjectives, that’s a narcissistic trait (it’s all about her)! Perhaps if she kept her nose out of other’s people’s business and lives she wouldn’t have had so many ‘issues’!

After her betrayal to me, in 1981, when she violated my parental rights with my children, when I chose to adopt, I banished her from my life. I wrote one letter to her adoptive mother informing her of Joan’s behaviors. I next saw her briefly (only hours) in 1992. Within a day, of that visit, she caused more trouble within the family via her lies about me; my religion was bad for my ‘mental health’. In 1998, I wrote her one letter in response to a letter she wrote to me; I told her to get lost. I had one phone conversation in 2005, an attempt to end hostilities; she used that against me in the book she published in 2009! That is 5 (five) contacts with her in decades, hardly terrorizing her. It was only AFTER she published the hate/libelous book in 2009 and now again in 2015 that I have ‘looked’ for her and answered her lies and hate. Again, not terrorizing her, but countering her lies about me and mine!

Every member of the birth family have similar stories of Joan’s betrayals and bad behaviors towards them, but to hear Joan tell it we are all monsters going after her. The birth family members are the victims of Joan’s negative behaviors and viewpoints that she learned from the adoptive family. Any actions taken by the birth family against Joan were attempts to get her to stop interfering and violating our individual and collective rights and properties. Joan lumps the two families together because she is in ‘great’ need to feel and portray herself as the victim of a collective conspiracy against her, personally. She feels that the institution of adoption is wrong and therefore she has the right (?) to tell others how wrong they are. And because the birth family ‘gave her up’ and the adoptive family ‘adopted’ her…we are monsters that have caused havoc in Joan’s life! What bullshit!

Because of her own mental instabilities, real or imagined, she has the suicidal thoughts. Certainly the birth family had no part in her ‘thoughts’. All we ever wanted was to (1) find her, which we did, and then when she became a monster we wanted (2) for her to stop hurting us!

Her depressions, anxieties and such are NOT a result of any actions of the birth family but in Joan’s own mind. There is a strong possibility that Joan is a product of both, a bad genetic seed and bad parental upbringing.  No one in the birth family acts like Joan. No one in the birth family abused or invaded her life. It was Joan who did the abuse to and invading each and every birth family member’s personal lives and boundaries.

Joan’s marriage ended because of her behaviors or lack of proper behaviors. She was in poverty because SHE refused to get a job. After several moves with ‘boyfriends’, she moved back in with her adoptive mother, who also PAID for that second college degree! Joan still lives in that home and is on NY State Disability due to her own mental illnesses. Joan has kept talking about the ‘jobs’ she had as a social worker, after she got that degree, but she NEVER had one job as a social worker! I hope that Disability knows of her INCOME from her self-employment!

It is only recently, since she started this ‘new’ business, Identity Press, and published this new book against family, has she stated that she’s been SELF-EMPLOYED since 1975! What a liar! No, Joan never had a ‘career path’; she’s been a life-long slug living off the adoptive mother, a husband and the state of New York. Her ‘stress induced illnesses’ are the direct results of her own constant interfering and violating the rights of others. Joan spends all her time on the Internet browbeating people who adopt. Her mission is to eliminate adoption from the globe! She’s a bottom feeder!

(J)…Through it all, one central question drives her: Why does discrimination against bastards, orphans, and the adopted exist?

Gert’s comment… I guess it is ‘discrimination’ if one thinks it is. There are millions of adoptees in the world and they all do NOT feel discrimination. As with anything, it is in ‘the eyes of the beholder’ as to what they believe, see, and feel. Joan M Wheeler does NOT speak for all adoptees.

(J)…Joan asserts, “We, The People, can and must end discrimination against adoptees by insisting on Federal legislation to override State laws to restore adoptees’ civil and human rights to the non-restricted and non-redacted certified truth of our births (a right we had prior to 1930 nationwide, and prior to 1936 in New York), and to end the 85-year-long practice of creating amended – falsified – birth certificates for each new adoptee in America.”

Gert’s comment… Oh brother!! Talk about delusional thinking!  “We, The People” Since when does Joan command such authority? She doesn’t speak for all ‘the people’. In this latest ‘new’ version, of grossly libelous contents, Joan MISSPEAKS about an adoptee organization, New York State Adoptee Equality. That organization pointedly said that Joan does not speak for that organization and her statement, published in her e-book, is false!

Their own statement of themselves can be seen here…


“We are a group run by Adoptees. We work for reform on adoption laws that keep us from equal access under the law. We are grassroots by & for Adoptees with no political affiliations., also administered by committees, not by administrators.”

But Joan published this

Kindle location 8019 quote ‘In June of 2014, a group of angry, disgruntled misfit adoptees banded together to form their own activist organization after the NY Legislature slapped a chokehold on the existing Adoptees’ Bill of Rights two days before the bill came up for a vote. In what should have been a vote to give adoptees permission to receive uncertified copies of their sealed birth certificate, NY adoptees roes (rose?) up, called their legislators to kill the bill. The bill was indeed killed, resulting in yet another year of wasted effort by adoptee activists. Better this than to have a law that would give a small group of hysterical birthmothers, judges, and adoption agencies their way, to claim that ‘birth’ parents have the right to remain anonymous and to redact their names from the released birth certificate and to prevent adoptees from contacting them. The new adoptee lobby group, NY state Adoptee Equality, can be found on facebook and twitter at @NYAdoptEquality.’

When I ‘exposed’ that statement, on a news article, is what prompted Joan to announce her new book; she saw that I ‘knew’. Then a month later she REMOVED 4 chapters! So this statement is no longer in her book! I can only guess that she must have gotten lots of flack over that statement.

Joan M Wheeler is only ONE adoptee who does NOT speak for them all. If she thinks that this new version of the same lies is going to make her a great and wonderful wizard who eliminates adoption from the globe…well I hope there’s a padded cell somewhere for her.

There is more but I shall incorporate that in another post about her ‘bio’ on Amazon.


(2 of 3) What ‘duped by adoption’ Joan M Wheeler’s ‘friends’ have to say about her latest piece of garbage; reviewer number two. (2 of 3)

update Aug 31, 2015…

seems that the author has updated her e-book, no surprise there, she’s always updating the ‘truth’…anyway…I want to update my posts as I go along…see my latest ‘comment’ on the end of my first comment.

I am placing each reviewer, and my comment to their review, in three separate posts, for they each are worth a post of their own. This introduction paragraph will be used for each one, as the necessary background needed if the posts are read out of order.

When I first saw and then purchased Joan’s latest remake of OTHER peoples’ lives, there were no reviews. It wasn’t until AFTER she saw that I quoted her, on a news site, that she announce it and promote it. Once she did that I went back to Amazon and placed a review, which subsequently was removed because I ‘know’ the author! My name was removed, via Amazon, on my comments to the reviewers to read ‘a purchaser’. That’s Amazon’s policy! One of the three reviewers did NOT like my comment and removed her comment! Gosh what friends Joan has, they can’t take the heat!

Reviewer number two and my comment and other thoughts;

 A personal account of the complications  created by adoption and how these could be reduced EvelynR June 21, 2015

 Joan Wheeler has produced an account of her personal experience of adoption separation. Although hers was a rather unusual family situation, she was adopted as a baby and, as with all adopted people, she was issued with a new birth certificate, which stated that her adoptive parents were her actual and only parents. Joan describes the complications and challenges of being a member of several families and the reader follows her journey of self-exploration, through her relationships with the many people to whom she is related in different ways. Joan concludes by outlining the ways in which she feels that adoptions should be conducted more honestly, in order to minimise the harm caused to those who experience separation from family members in this way. It is important for the world to hear from those with a personal experience of adoption to dispel the myths which are, sadly, so readily accepted in many parts of the world.

Gert’s reply…under comments… ‘a purchaser says’

 No one lives in a vacuum, with or without an original birth certificate. The author’s family was not unusual. I’m sure many would agree it is not in good taste to exploit families, with personal biases, in order to get changes into adoption. This revised book, as with the first version, is not about her self-exploration but about the work that needs to be done on the ‘self’.

The author’s life is NOT about ‘adoption separation’, let alone reform and OBCs, for if that was true, she would not have waited until chapter 52 to put out her ‘recommendations for change’; it would have been chapter ONE!

This piece of garbage is self-serving. As an example here, at location 6810 chapter 48 Elderly Parents, is what Joan writes…

‘when I read Dad’s death notice in the newspaper, I was hurt to see that my name was left out. That was just typical of the mindset of these people acting out of spite….Whether or not it was his choice to leave my name out of his death notice I will never know.’

The truth is that the ‘father’ removed the author from his pre-arranged papers in 2009 for his own reasons; family members didn’t knew until he died. Joan’s retelling is from her ‘perspective’, always and as in all families, EVERYONE has a perspective and voice. Finally, adoption has NOTHING to do with the subject of the book. The subject of the book is about someone believing they were ‘duped’.

My 2nd comment…

Well the author decided to update the ebook…apparently she doesn’t like chapters 49, 50, 51 and 52. As I said in previous comment chapter 52 was where the author gives her ‘recommendations for change’ and I suggested it should have been chapter 1 if she was promoting adoption reform! Guess she isn’t for reform after all…just wants to tell us all about her terrible life as an adoptee and a horrible life in reunion with birth family! But wait! she’ll be back! She rewrite those chapters, for now, with e-book, she can rewrite the ‘truth’ as many times as she will!

Gert here again… what I couldn’t say on Amazon.

It really is quite a stupid title for a book! ‘an adoptee, duped by adoption’! Just because Joan feels and believes that she was ‘duped’ doesn’t mean that everyone else has been or is! Nor does it mean that adoption is a fraud. But to hear Joan, and believe me the adoptive and birth families have HEARD Joan, you would think that the human race, around the globe, have all by duped, conned, hoodwinked and more by the INSTITUTION OF ADOPTION!

Oh sure, no system is perfect, shit happens, terrible shit happens, but get real! Joan is such a drama queen! But you know…MAINSTREAM adoptees don’t INVITE Joan and her garbage books on their circuits! This new improved piece of shit is NOT on any adoptee reading list. It is NOT on any adoptee WRITTEN book list and there are A LOT of them out there today. No, mainstream adoptee rights reformers and activists don’t want Joan around them. Joan is so out of step with the world not many of her own kind want her around them.

A really strange thing is, how fascinated Joan is with her ‘baby’ pictures! Look at the covers of the two books. They can be found on the ‘about’ page on the blog and on the Facebook page, of the same title; ‘The life and times of Joan M Wheeler; duped by adoption, a book study’

In the first book her eyes are closed. Long after that first book was pulled from publication, because Joan violated her contract with the publisher that she would not publish libel and other things, but she did! I had noticed that she changed her ‘icon’ in various places and started to use another ‘snap shot’ of herself as that infant…with eyes OPENED. You will note that I cropped the cover picture of the second book because her opened eyes are too ‘creepy’, period!

Joan could be a ‘changeling’ or a ‘bad seed’…such things do happen. None of the other four siblings born to the same parents have those creepy eyes! Genetics aside, Joan was NOT raised by the birth family. She was raised by a strange family and all her behaviors were LEARNED behaviors. No one in the birth family behaves as Joan does!

Was does EvelynR say that Joan had ‘a rather unusual family situation’?  I really don’t get that! There was NOTHING unusual…death of a parent happens quite often and children are placed into adoption for that and many other reasons. It is also not so unusual for ‘shirt-tail’ relations, generations removed, to have mingled and married within close ‘genetic’ relationships and/or to know the existence and identity of a child’s parentage! Joan is only UNIQUE in her own mind!

EvelynR also said ‘the complications and challenges of being a member of several families’. There were only TWO families; the birth and adoptive families.  It was the members of those two families that had ‘the complications and challenges’ when dealing WITH Joan, not the other way around! Joan was a problem child within the adoptive family that had nothing to do with the birth family. It was Joan’s own behaviors and her interferences and various back-stabbings, that caused ‘complications’ that, when told by Joan, became only those DONE by others and NOT by Joan herself. Seems all so one-sided, don’t you think? Joan is always the poor misunderstood child/victim at the raw end of the whip that everyone whipped her with! Give me a break!

‘the reader follows her journey of self-exploration’ EvelynR said of the book! Hate to break it to you Evelyn and others, but his book is not about ‘self-exploration’. It’s a detailed description of the neurosis and damaged brain-cells of Joan and how she ‘goes after everyone who hurt her or whom she hates’.

Case in point, why did Dad remove Joan from his pre-prepared end of life papers? Because Joan finally went over the line of decency and respect for her ‘father’! Joan’s take on it, how she tells it, is NOT the way it happened. In 2009 she attempted to con Dad into paying for her car repairs and to publish the book. He said NO to the car repairs, that was her car not his, and that he didn’t NEED her help any longer. He had read a draft of a long-complicated ‘social-work assessment’ (which she leaves out of this ebook) in which she INSULTED Dad’s heritage and religion! Yes, he kicked her out of his house, again, because each time someone disagrees with Joan, she MUST argue with them. Dad didn’t allow arguing, he had enough of Joan’s conning and yelling. Dad told her ‘call before you come over again’. In 2011, she didn’t call before coming over…but that’s another tale, for another time. It was AFTER he kicked her out that Dad CHANGED his papers and no one, not even his wife knew what he did, until he died and they saw his papers.

But in this piece of garbage, Joan rants and raves, jumping to conclusions, about how it was us, the birth sisters, who ‘took’ her name off Dad’s obit. She gave us powers we didn’t have! So expanding on what I quoted in my original comment above… Location 6807

 ‘When I read Dad’s death notice in the newspaper, I was hurt to see that my name was left out. That was just typical of the mindset of these people acting out of spite. So I purchased a death notice of my own. This man was my father and I was his daughter. No amount of anger toward me, or bickering over me not being his legal daughter at the time of his death, could change the fact that he was my father. Whether or not it was his choice to leave my name out of his death notice I will never know.’

Contrary to what Joan says, she DOES read our blogs and makes false assumptions about ourselves, other family members and actual events. Again, contrary to what Joan says, she NEVER was a full-time care-giver to Dad and step-mom, she was NOT privy to ANYTHING, no one in the birth family wanted her around. It certainly wasn’t the birth sisters, who removed Joan’s name from the obit! But in Joan’s mind we did and therefore it is a FACT and she printed it! That folks is called LIBEL!

I am including here a link to a post that I wrote back when Dad died. It’s details speak for themselves and of course Joan ‘read’ this back then. It is on Ruth’s blog because I did not have my own blog at the time.



And finally, EvelynR says;

‘It is important for the world to hear from those with a personal experience of adoption to dispel the myths which are, sadly, so readily accepted in many parts of the world.’

While that may be true, it will NOT be found in this piece of shit work. The mind of Joan M Wheeler does NOTHING to help dispel any myths, it only CONFIRMS that her mind is diseased, that she puts HER view upon others and her motives are purely selfish and revengeful.


1) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/08/21/what-duped-by-adoption-joan-m-wheelers-friends-have-to-say-about-her-

2) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/what-duped-by-adoption-joan-m-wheelers-friends-have-to-say-about-her-
3) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/09/3-of-3-what-duped-by-adoption-joan-m-wheelers-friends-have-to-say-

4) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/08/22/i-interrupt-my-sequence-of-3-reviews-and-my-comments-to-bring-you-
5) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/13/review-number-five-5-of-joan-m-wheelers-garbage-e-book-forbidden-

6) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/18/review-six-6-of-forbidden-family-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-

7) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/10/22/review-7-of-joan-m-wheelers-revised-edition-of-her-garbage-book-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption-says-the-book-describes-the-pain-of-being-a-victim/

8)  https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/12/01/review-number-eight-8-of-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption/

9)   https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/12/31/no-doubt-about-it-joan-m-wheelers-latest-revision-of-forbidden-family-duped-by-adoption-is-an-eye-opening-book-she-is-her-own-worst-enemy-and-she-doesnt-even-k/

10)  https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/03/review-10-of-joan-m-wheelers-garbage-book-people-do-see-behind-her-curtain/

11)   https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/04/review-11of-joan-m-wheelers-garbage-book-not-everyone-is-duped/

12) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/26/review-12-or-is-it-11-of-joans-disgusting-book-duped-by-adoption/

13) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/26/review-13-for-duped-by-adoption-adoption-a-view-from-the-other-side/