Her chosen title has always been ‘Forbidden Family’ because she has this obsession; that being adopted meant she was ‘forbidden’ to know her birth family.
See end of this post for updated information
Perhaps, that was true during her childhood with her adoptive parents, but like billions of others, as an adult she eventually KNEW her birth family. But that wasn’t enough for this idiot; she had to cause and make trouble within both families and then write libel about everyone, not once, but twice, in book form, and regurgitate it all over the Internet! Therefore she LOST both families.
In addition, because she couldn’t and didn’t ‘leave’ it (being adopted) alone she began to exhibit serious behavioral problems within her adoptive family, long before the birth family made contact. Then, once she was found and because she didn’t/doesn’t KNOW who or what she was/is and her behaviors were NOT accepted by the birth family, we of that family became her additional ‘targets’ of abuse. Because she hates, is angry, and has serious mental impairments, she poisons every relationship that she ever had, as well as any that come to her, now and in the future.
These are the main reasons why everything, in each version of her story, is so wrong. Because she writes NOT about her life but about how mean, horrible and deceptive her adoptive family were and all about that ‘forbidden family’ who refused to allow her, Joan, to do mean, horrible and deceptive things to them, particularly when each and EVERY member of the birth family refused to accept Joan’s negative behaviors!
With each incarnation, of the ‘book’, more and more embellishments were added to enhance her growing hatred for being adopted and for the two families that she came from, the birth and adoptive families! With each ‘additional’ death in the families, she FELT justified by ADDING more lies because ‘dead people can’t sue’, as she puts in print!
Joan’s one and only issue in LIFE is that she believes that because she is adopted the institution of adoption is wrong and needs to be abolished! She believes that everyone that had ANYTHING to do with her, from her two families has been and always will be against her. Joan is perfect! If only she wasn’t adopted and had those two horrible nasty families…even as she wants the entire world to know about her forbidden family she condemns them!
Now for the point and substance of this post…
Beginning in 2008 Joan M Wheeler, was out there, on the Internet, screaming her outrage and promoting her ‘life-story’ and for most of the time the families DID NOT know!
For the record here are some key points of Joan’s attempts to tell HER the story of TWO FAMILIES!
1) First; it was just Forbidden Family, as she was writing it since around 1976 and as in a 1999 manuscript that I and others have. Personally speaking, by 1981/82, I had divorced myself and family from Joan! I did NOT see her for 10 years because of her interference within my marriage and my minor children. When I saw her next, in 1992, she again caused trouble, so I again ignored her, only to have her continue to contact me! My last contact with her was in 2005 when she lied to me, about loving me, and then wrote more lies about me and my MINOR CHILDREN when she published that book in 2009!
2) Then it was The Secret is Out; 1990. This was NOT a full scale book but an article that included the REAL names of some of the birth siblings, without their permission! I was first shown this article, by Joan herself, at a reunion in 1992, but didn’t pay much attention, at that time; for within a 24 hour time period, Joan had cause YET another series of interference regarding me and my life. I wanted nothing more to do with her! I forgot about the article.
Unfortunately, others were taken advantage of over this ‘article’. The truth of that exposure and the interference, with family members, by a total unknown stranger, a friend of Joan’s, who attempted to intimidate the family members were DETAILED by Joan in both of the full book versions, BUT not by the truth of what actually occurred. I did not know of these various negative outcomes, to other family members, until the first book was published in 2009.
Here is a scan of the article and a link to my exposure of it
3) Then, in 2008, as she was looking to publish, Joan was all over the Internet speaking out and promoting her ‘new’ memoir! At that time, the title was… Forbidden Family: Memoir of a Found Adoptee. Obviously, this book (no matter what title) is NOT JUST a memoir; it is a hate manifesto full of libel!
The basis of THIS POST is this particular ‘title’ and the EVIDENCE is presented below, from a comment of Joan’s on March 14, 2008.
4) Then there are her various webpages starting in 2008! She has said in the past that we, the birth siblings, have ‘closed down’ her web sites! Such paranoia! Such power she gives to us! The reality is that ONCE she did publish, she was FORCED to deal with the truth FROM FAMILY and we have not and will not be silenced! Joan has ‘forbidden’, us, the ‘forbidden family’ from reading her blogs! Sure, like she can prevent someone, anyone, from READING anything on the Internet!
The current link to her blog is https://forbiddenfamily.com/
5) Then, in 2009, she published with Trafford Publications and it was titled Forbidden Family: A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism
When we sisters got hold of that book in December 2009, we immediately began to speak with the publisher, Trafford Publications. To refute and counter all her lies, Ruth and I created our blogs. The book was finally pulled from publication, by Trafford in May 2011, after their lawyers determined that the author had violated the contract, by writing libel. They will never publish it again. Joan’s reaction was ‘the book was out of print and sleeping’. From May/June of 2011 Joan kept ‘hinting’ that her book was being revised.
6) Then, in 2015 she created a ‘business’; Identity Press, a self-publishing company!
There are only 9 likes on the Facebook page and no word YET about any book release about identities and adoption!
7) Then, in May 2015, she ‘self-published’, via her ‘new’ business, the book eliminating any publishing ‘middle men’ thereby having full control of her lies about others. It has now became, Forbidden Family: My life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption.
I saw that this book was available in June 2015 and purchased it. I did NOT make it known publically, that I had, until on a news story I quoted Joan from that book. That brought Joan’s attention to me, as well as the adoptee organization that she wrote about, in the book.
The moment I did so, Joan, ‘released’ the book publically…
‘Kindle Edition released to the world July 18, 2015’.
But there was a PROBLEM! For Joan had ‘bad-mouthed’ several adoptee activists and she got some fallout. Her solution to the problem was to deleted four whole chapters, from the original!
Then the book format became available.
‘Print Edition released November 2, 2015’.
With each review of the book, on Amazon, I commented. I created ‘discussion’ topics as did Ruth.
So here’s a question for Joan…
How’s all that working out for you Joan? Certainly not what and how you expected it to be!
And NOW for evidence of this post; we see examples, in the following, of what I’ve just pointed out.
The following was gathered via a Google search. The web site is no longer available, but I have captured the ‘search’ information, the original ‘question’ and 2 of 4 answers, one of which is of course, Joan M Wheeler.
Mar 13, 2008 – Joan Wheeler says: March 14, 2008 at 6:40 am … You, the “parents” will find yourselves trying to defend why you lied. Building a parent-child …
To tell or to not tell? MARCH 12, 2008
Parents of egg donor kids are having a hard time disclosing the true biological origin to their children. Up to 44% of parents have decided not to tell their children how they were conceived. This surprises both psychologists and fertility specialists who had expected a higher rate of disclosure at a time when openness is encouraged about such matters.
Psychologists are trying to encourage parents to open up to their children in an age appropiate manner about their birth origins. Groups such as Resolve of the Bay State, held a seminar, “Talking with Children about Their Origins,” for prospective parents.
How would you feel about telling your child should you choose the egg donor route?
I think I’d fall into the “not sure” category. Perhaps it would also depend on the nature of the child. If I felt they can handle it. Of course if there was a medical need, I would tell.
I would 100% tell my child. I can see the opposite side though, and wouldn’t judge people for not telling.
Joan Wheeler March 14, 2008 at 6:40 am
I am a reunited adoptee, found by my 4 older full-blood siblings in 1974. Our mother died, our father relinquished me to adoption. My adoptive parents never wanted me to know the truth – ever. The betrayal, mistrust and hurt and rage I felt when I found out the truth was so completely devasting. I was 18, just finishing high school. My homelife was shattered, my life goals turned upside down. All because my adoptive parents never wanted me to know the truth. Beware: if you don’t tell the truth your egg-donor child will grow up and find out someway. You, the “parents” will find yourselves trying to defend why you lied. Building a parent-child relationship on a lie speaks volumns about the kind of people you are — and the child you love will end up hating you for causing such personal pain. You are not GOD. You do not own your child’s genes, nor do you own your child’s destiny. Give that donor-conceived PERSON human dignity and respect. Tell the truth before it backfires on YOU. I am 34 years in a reunion with my natrual family. My 92 year old adoptive mother finally understands what she did was wrong. Appologies now, 52 years later, are hardly enough to compensate for ridiculing me, mocking me, defiantly witholding the truth of birth from me — and treating me with disdain for becoming an adoption reform activist. My natrual father regrets giving me up. My adoptive father died 25 years ago and appologized for his part in the cover-up before he died. If you didn’t make your child the old-fashioned way, you’d better fess-up. Get the name of the egg donor and put that name on the birth certificate because she is the genetic mother. You are only the gestational mother. Put both destinctions on the birth certificate because that is the truth! If you cannot handle the truth yourselves, then how do you think that will affect your child? You can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org. My memoir (and well-researched on repro-tech adoptees) will be published soon. Forbidden Family: Memoir of a Found Adoptee.
Gert back again here…
Joan wrote; My memoir (and well-researched on repro-tech adoptees) will be published soon. Forbidden Family: Memoir of a Found Adoptee.
NO there was no ‘well-researched’ material in that FIRST book and in the SECOND book she deleted four full chapters that HAD any worthwhile materials. Joan is only interested in telling her story and lying about her two sets of families.