No doubt about it, Joan M Wheeler’s latest revision, of Forbidden Family, Duped by Adoption, is ‘an eye-opening’ book! She is her own worst enemy and she doesn’t even know it! Review # 9 Stanley Bostich

An eye-opening book…

Too bad, that most of those that read it, and/or review it, are BLIND to the fact that the book is pure BULLSHIT. The reason they are BLIND? They have been DUPED, by Joan, into believing Joan’s BULLSHIT. There is nothing in this revision that helps the cause, of reforming adoption laws, to give adoptees access to their birth/medical records. Joan doesn’t give a shit about reform; she deleted four chapters that had any information that could be of use for reform. Joan is not a reformist. She is an abolitionist! She will slant/fabricate anything to prove her points. She knows that most ‘non-thinking’ people will NOT question her because she is so GOOD at the art of deception.

Joan M Wheeler should not be believed! She has even ‘revised’ the TRUTH, from the first edition to the second edition! How can anyone believe what she writes when she changes the TRUTH from one version to another? This revision has changes that she made AFTER she READ the birth siblings blogs! And then some of her ‘author’ boilerplate stuff, on Amazon, has been changed to reflect what I have exposed about her misrepresenting FACTS. Question; will she changed what is in the PRINTED VERSION OF THIS BOOK? I wonder for I’ve exposed many LIES and FABRICATIONS, in the printed version.

And to make matters worse, Joan has a ‘publishing business’; Identity Press! This way she can con more innocent people into doing her bidding. Somehow I don’t see her getting many submissions, from regular folks, who are willing to EXPOSE themselves, and their families, to what Joan WANTS THEM TO DO. If these folks think long and hard, as to what THIS BIRTH FAMILY HAS BEEN THROUGH AND HAVE SPENT YEARS EXPOSING WHAT JOAN HAS WRITTEN…would they RISK THEIR FAMILIES WRATH? I doubt it!

Only time will tell…in the meanwhile…here we have review number nine! And my comments that I placed on Amazon.

An eye-opening book  By Stanley Bostich on December 30, 2015

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase

I have absolutely no experience with adoption. I learned SO much from this book. It wasn’t an easy read for me. I had difficulty keeping track of the various family members (birth, adoptive, half-birth, foster-step-adoptive, I think). What I found most amazing was the images of the two birth certificates listing different parents and birth names. I was astounded to discover that many adult adoptees do not have access to their own birth records. That is just flat-out wrong.

The reunion portion of the book gave me a perspective that never would have occurred to me. I now have some appreciation of the time, energy, and stress involved with being “found” and getting to know the “new” family. Just the extra demand on your time could really mess things up. In these families, there were so many half-orphans and adoptions, etc. that it is no surprise that they were really messed up. I have no doubt that there was much love. There was also much anger and cruelty.

Also, adoption seems to be much more common than I realized. For example, while I was reading this book, I had it with me in a restaurant. The waitress asked me about it, then told me the story of her adoption.

Though this book is a memoir, the author puts a lot of effort (perhaps unsuccessfully) into trying to understand/explain the feelings of the other people involved. I’m also impressed with her desire to fit into all the sets of relatives and how much effort she put into it over the years. My overall impression is that the author was a pretty normal artsy teenage girl, then WHAM!

I highly recommend this book to anyone considering adoption. It can give a heads-up to a lot of easily avoided pitfalls. For adoptees, well, if you’re interested in hearing someone else’s story…this is one hell of a story


Your initial post: Dec 31, 2015 3:03:39 PM PST

gert mcqueen says:

One hell of a fictional tale!

An eye-opening book and one hell of a story and For adoptees, well, if you’re interested in hearing someone else’s story…says this reviewer. This commentator says…don’t believe everything you read about someone else’s story because that story is being told one-sidedly. The author has an agenda; to prove that adoption needs to be abolished. Know the politics before you believe the propaganda! Stanley, you mention the anger and cruelty, again know the author before you believe her propaganda.

This reviewer says… I had difficulty keeping track of the various family members (birth, adoptive, half-birth, foster-step-adoptive. This commentator says… No kidding! TV reality shows and soaps do a much better job of that! This reviewer also says the author puts a lot of effort (perhaps unsuccessfully) into trying to understand/explain the feelings of the other people involved. Yes, Stanley, I would agree, very unsuccessfully! The author’s efforts are called putting words into another’s mouth and ascribing deeds and motives to others that were never there. In other words…it’s FICTION. Every word, every deed, done by others, are slanted toward the personal/political agendas of the author. Knowing the birth family, much of the drama never happened, or if it did, not the way the author describes events.

A perfect example is here; Chapter 29, More changes, location 4075 in Kindle edition.
Dad, I’ve heard so many stories. What should I believe?
Believe the one I’m telling you now…I married M three months after your mother died…I had my reasons…I dated M when we were both 17. It wasn’t serious and soon I met your mother and married her. M went on to marry someone else. Years later, I saw an obituary for her father and asked your mother to go to the funeral with me…after your mother died, I called M…she was recently divorced, we decided to get married
So Dad, where does the orphanage and foster home come in?
M and I were married for about six years before this occurred. Let’s see. Your mother died in 1956, so this must have happened in the early sixties, around 1962.
Irma left the orphanage to get married. ….end of example

So here the author is relating a `true conversation’ with her birth father. The author clearly states that the father says Believe the one I’m telling you now. The author has taken literary license by putting words in another’s mouth and weaving a tale that is untrue passing it off as truth because the book is labeled non-fiction! While the birth father DID marry again three months after the death of his wife, his reasons were to provide a two-parent home for 7 children (his five/her 2) but at the last moment the second wife decided she did NOT want the infant. That infant, the author, was placed into adoption.

The father did NOT know M (second wife) when they were 17; they met in 1945 when both were in the Army, well over the age of 17! Father met and married first wife in 1946. M (second wife) never married and therefore never divorced before she married this father (this was her one and only marriage) who asked her to marry to provide that 2-parent home. And so M and father married in June 1956. In 1957, M had to be hospitalized and the children were placed in orphanage and foster homes. This was less than ONE YEAR after marriage NOT 6 YEARS. It took place in 1957 not 1962. Irma never lived in an orphanage but was in the same foster home from spring of 1957 to spring of 1965, when she moved back with the father upon the death of M, the second wife, from cancer. Irma then finished HS and then married!

This book contains the true identities of people who have LIVING relatives, who KNOW the truth of these people. Readers of this book have been DUPED!


I could go on and on about all the falsehoods that are in this freaking book, but I shall wait for another time.

Update January 26, 2016…the nature of Amazon comments are that sometimes comments are deleted for any number of reasons, most because they fail to meet Amazon’s guidelines (not always easy to understand) and/or because ‘other’ people may not like a comment. So…if you read a blog post, of mine here, and go to the book’s site, you may see things different from the contents of individual blog posts. I can NOT update each and every change that may occur.

My comment above was deleted, I reworked it to eliminate most my ‘commentaries’ leaving the majority in tack. The new comment is up on the review.

I am now adding two additional comments here, on this post about this ‘review’ as it is VERY TELLING.

Posted on Jan 25, 2016 7:19:40 AM PST

Ruth Pace says…

the difficulty the reviewer had with keeping up with the many “half-orphans, adoptees, steps” is beyond my understanding.
Why? Because the author of this book insisted not in telling about only her adoption and the effects of adoption on her, but telling about the childhood lives of other people.
And the author also muddied the story with her misconceptions of people’s feelings and actions, filliing many pages with her “speculations” and half-truths. This reviewer says “the author puts a lot of effort (perhaps unsuccessfully) into trying to understand/explain the feelings of the other people involved.
I agree, because for one thing, it is not the author’s place to explain the feelings of other people.

She originally came from a family of 5 siblings. When her mother died, the father remarried and gained two stepsons. That second wife died and the father married for a third time and gained two step daughters. And then adopted one of the stepdaughters.
What is so difficult to understand? There are many step and blended families these days. As to being “messed-up” – the author was raised as an only child. The rest of her birthsiblings, were placed – some in an orphanage for a year, and some in a foster home. Along with the step-brothers from the second marriage. There were times the siblings were seperated, but none of them were ever without one or two. And they visited often, and came back for holidays, summers, etc. To them it was normal. Wherever they were, what ever adult took care of them, they were loved. At the time of the father’s third marriage – they were young adults and starting their own lives and establishing their own homes. Each of them, the births and the steps, all had good, long careers, never were arrested, never abused drugs or alcohol. Hardly the picture of being “messed up.” But then, this is how the author likes to portray them. The anger and cruelty came from one who wants to punish the world and particularly her birthsiblings because she was adopted out, and they were not.
Blended families don’t get “stapled” together. Get my drift?

Ruth Pace says:

on the other hand, it is no wonder that this reviewer has difficulty understanding familial relationships. Electric staplers merely staple things together mechanically, using no real emotions. How an electric stapler managed to fool amazon into getting an account is what baffles me. I smells a troll, a fake account. google Stanley Bostich – a stapler manufactured by Stanley Tools.
The real question is why? Considering the amount of lies contained in the book, and various deceitful practices that I have been witness to, I have to wonder who thought of using the name of an electric stapler. If the book and its contents is on the up-and-up, there should be no reason for anyone to create a sock account.


As you can see there’s more to these reviews and reviewers UNDER THE SURFACE. There are also more reviews…so stay tune

Here’s a list of all the far…
















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