It’s a real shame that she continues to spread the same nasty lies about our mother! Even if she ‘believes’ the lies the only reasons she continues to tell them is because she NEEDS attention. Also, she NEEDS to plug her new revised edition of the same old lies!
I happen to ‘follow’ her Forbidden Family WordPress blog. When I saw her post of Dec 27, 2015 I decided to ‘like’ it; to let her ‘know’ that I saw it…not that I liked it, of course. I have no way of knowing if she see who likes her posts. I do find it very interesting that my ‘like’ is the only one this post has.
The next day as I was pondering the post I began to look ‘inside’ the book again and looked back into my memory. I enlisted Ruth’s memory as well. Then I decided to do some ‘tweets’ on Twitter, my initial reactions. Those tweets got a lot of views!
First I present Joan’s post…all of which is totally a fabrication of her diseased mind. I then present my tweets, then my commentary about what actually happened. Then some falsehoods I found within Joan’s revised edition.
Then I ask, that you the reader, compare what Joan wrote in this post with mine account.
Joan’s post Dec 27 The First Two Christmases of My Life
Today, two days after Christmas 60 years ago, my pregnant mother was taken by bus (my parents did not own a car) to the hospital. She was so sick that she was admitted. Tests were done and, though the doctors knew she was pregnant, they x-rayed her abdomen (so I received a full body dose of x-ray radiation). There, next to me, was a massive tumor. Mom gave birth to me on January 7, 1956, two months prematurely. Mom died on March 28, 1956.
The following year, just a few weeks before Christmas 1956 and just before my adoption became final, the husband and wife who had custody of me since that April (and who would become my adoptive “parents”) felt sorry for my father and for my four older siblings. “We bought a Christmas tree and presents and drove them over to your father’s house when the kids were asleep, so they would not see us. We wanted them to have a Christmas,” my 89 year old adoptive mother said to me in 2005.
When I heard this story for the first time in my life, I was seething with rage. While my adoptive “parents” thought they were being kind by giving these charity gifts to a family who was “less fortunate,” what they actually did was give gifts to ease the pain of taking away the baby to keep for their very own.
Yes, my father relinquished me to adoption, but no one ever offered him help. No one ever thought that the baby might miss her family, or that the siblings might miss their baby sister. Just give the baby a new home and new name and be done with it. What counted most was to provide me with two parents, a new home, and a new life. And to provide a child for a childless married couple who desperately wanted a baby.
I lived a sheltered life as an only child.
To say that I felt betrayed when the truth was revealed, is an understatement.
Joan Mary Wheeler
Here are the tweets I made (my first reactions)…
Joan M Wheeler is full of shit! She must be in great NEED for attention to cont to exploit our mother/father to promote lying book
Please by all means LOOK at amazon see my comments on that lying book of Joan M Wheeler. For every lie I will expose the truth, she’s nuts
when will Joan M Wheeler did a fucking life and let our parent and siblings alone? all she does is exploit exploit exploit and plug her book
xmas 56, I was NINE I remember! grandparents had tree/gifts, step-mom’s family were there. Joan believes lies her a-mom told her LIES LIES
xmas of 56 Joan’s adoptive parent DID NOT give my dad a xmas tree/presents. He was MARRIED again, we were NOT poor, he worked for the city
Joan says pg 225, that when stepmom was taken we were ages, 15, 14, 12, 9 and 12….WRONG WRONG. It happened in 1957 I WAS TEN Joan lies
Joan M Wheeler writes for shock and awe, like TV REALITY shows, she KNOWS not what happened, she makes it all up and she is DISGRACE
we children were all UNDER THE AGE OF 10, we NEVER saw what Joan writes, ‘attendants took her away in front of the kids’ Joan is NUTS
2nd wife/step-mom had to be hospitalized, 1957, it was ARRANGED, we went to school then to foster/orphan homes, THEN stepmom was taken away
pg225, another lie, Joan says we went to foster/orphan homes in 62 WRONG, it was 1957, also wrong, we NEVER saw step-mom taken away
Joan M Wheeler has LIED and LIED abt ME AND FAMILY FOR DECADES. I am the AUTHORITY of my life NOT JOAN WHEELER. Believe her NOT
after 1 year marriage to my dad, 2nd wife, developed mental illnesses, that is when I & 1 sis went to FOSTER HOME, 3 others to orphanehomes
AGAIN, the reason Joan M Wheeler was placed into adoption is because 2nd wife REFUSED to care of infant. 2nd wife was NEVER MARRIED PRIOR
2nd wife had 2 illegitmate sons BEFORE she married my dad, the oldest stay w/grandmom, the younger with her/my dad, + 4 children of Dad
dad married 2ndwife 3 mo aft mom died, to CARE of 7 children, but she REFUSED the infant, Joan, that is reason for Joan’s adoption.
dad’s 2nd wife was NEVER MARRIED OR DIVORCED! Dad met her in the army, then met my mom 45, they married 46, she died 56
Joan M Wheeler puts words in my father’s mouth! like about his 2nd wife. Joan says that that woman was ‘married then divorced’ before my dad
I moved back to Dad’s spring of 65, finished HS & then married! I was 18. Joan M Wheeler MAKES SHIT UP, to FIT HER STORY.
Joan M Wheeler says that I, Gert left orphanage to be get married pg226 WRONG I was never in one lived in foster home from 1957 to 65
Joan M Wheeler’s newest blog post, pure nonsense, just more lies she was told by adoptive mom that she can’t LET GO OF same within book lies
End of the tweets.
Now my commentary.
Regardless of what Joan says, whether or not Dad told her, this or that, or the adoptive mother told her this or that, FACT remains that Joan PUTS WORDS IN OTHER PEOPLE’S MOUTHS AND MAKES THEM DO DEEDS THEY NEVER DID. I know for FACT that my father would NEVER describe the way my mother was in the hospital or when she died, as Joan tells it. My father was a private man and would NEVER say what Joan has him saying!
In December of 1956, I was 8. Three weeks later, I turned 9, January 14, 1947. My mother had been ill; we kids were told that she was going to the hospital for a couple of weeks. In other words, the trip to the hospital was a PLANNED ONE. It was planned BECAUSE she was put on COMPLETE BED REST to hold the pregnancy (5th child Joan). She also was put on that drug to hold pregnancies (DES).
While I cannot be certain, I would suspect that my father CALLED A CAB to take my mother to the hospital, either a cab or a friend, considering that she was ill, he NEVER WOULD HAVE TAKEN A BUS. Dad never learned to drive a car, but he had MANY friends that took him and his family places. Dad also took many CABS. I recall cab rides all through my childhood, even him taking a CAB to and from the foster home and orphan home, we were placed in.
Mother was NOT x-rayed when she went into the hospital that December; (the fetus was not exposed to x-ray) there was NO NEED, for there was NO EXPECTATION of anything other than HOLDING THE PREGNANCY. My mother delivered the 5th child, in her hospital bed, prematurely. It was AT THAT TIME, after the birth of Joan, that x-rays and exploratory surgery was done, (around Jan 19) tumor found, decisions made, by both mother and father and doctors, that nothing more could be done. The pregnancy COVERED UP the tumor! So in FACT, it was the fetus of that 5th child (Joan) that covered up what ACTUALLY WAS HAPPENING inside mother’s body! Mother KNEW that nothing more could be done for her, she was in pain and wanted no more surgeries or treatments. She KNEW SHE WAS DYING.
Mother agreed to father’s decisions about remarrying to provide 2 parents for a total of 7 children. It was AFTER the death of mother that the woman whom agreed to marry my father said SHE REFUSED THE INFANT. That is the reason why 5th child (Joan) was placed into adoption. The infant was being cared for by relatives. The four older children were living with grandparents and other relatives. My father agreed to place the infant into adoption QUICKLY AND QUIETLY, as he always said ‘out of sight out of mind’. He was NOT PRESSURED; he knew what he had to do! Yes, people told him about the couple that DID adopt Joan, but NOT at the funeral.
My mother died in March 1956. My father remarried in June 1956. Between April and June, ALL ARRANGEMENTS were made for all the children. Joan was given to the Wheelers for adoption. Ruth and Leonard were brought home from relatives. Kathy and Gert were brought home from grandparents. James stayed with his grandparents. John came with his mother. By July 1956 the home we all lived in on Smith St. was full with my father, my step-mother, her son, myself, my brother and my two sisters.
My father was working, since 1955, for the city of Buffalo. He was not ‘dirt poor’ as Joan repeats that her adoptive mother said. My paternal grandparents were also NOT poor.
My father’s second wife was known to my father, from days in Washington DC during the war (1945). She had NEVER been married, therefore never divorced, but did have two children, out of wed-lock, by the time my father proposed the marriage of ‘convenience’. Her oldest son stayed with her mother/sister. Her younger son stayed with her and my father raised him.
The Christmas of 1956 was NOT like what Joan says…that is a lie her adoptive mother told her and Joan continues to believe the falsehood!
I REMEMBER Christmas! My grandparents had a tree, gifts, food. My parents, (father and step-mother) had a tree, gifts, food. My stepmother’s family had a tree, gifts and food.
There was NO late night visit, while we were sleeping, or otherwise, by Joan’s adoptive parents! What utter bullshit! My father would NOT have wanted CONTACT with the Wheeler’s, the LAW told him to stay away. In June 56, my father had another WIFE and his family back (minus that 5th child). At no time would my step-mother have allowed the intrusion by the Wheelers into HER HOME! I know because I lived with my step-mother…Joan and the Wheelers never knew her! Joan makes shit up!
Quotes from, My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption.
From Chap 45, Behind Closed Doors, pg 336, 337
Besides the Christmas, that never happened, as I state above, here’s another bit of nonsense from Joan mind…
Her adoptive mother is saying to Joan…
‘We felt bad about the other kids. At one point, we bought shoes for them, and even offered to adopt all five of you, but your father wouldn’t have it.’
Then Joan is wondering out loud in print…
‘My mind was a blur. Over the span of three decades, my father hadn’t mentioned any of this to me. Maybe he forgot (or it was too painful for him).’
WTF…perhaps, Joan…it NEVER HAPPENED! Because it NEVER HAPPENED, it’s just more nonsense from your old adoptive mother and your hatred for her and adoption.
Chap 29, More changes, pg 224, 225, 226… contain totally falsehoods about myself and my family, some of my tweets, above, hint at the falsehoods, but that will wait for another time.
Anything that Joan M Wheeler writes, about the birth family AND the adoptive family, must be understood to be COLORED and FAVORED, by Joan’s hatred and her NEED for attention and self-pity.
Re-read Joan’s Christmas post and tell me you believe her ‘version’ of reality!