Some people just love to wear their badge of victim-hood! They want attention!
So here is the latest ‘recommendation’ of this garbage and my comment to it, link is provided.
Why is it that those that ‘support’ this author’s exposing and exploiting members of TWO families think NOTHING of the damage that is being done by that? Because they can only see their own suffering! In Joan’s case, she wrote these 2 books for REVENGE, to get even with everyone who ever hurt her! Like my children?? What did they do to the author?
As with other reviewers, that see Joan’s ‘pain’, this reviewer does NOT give us any references from the book itself! A review ought to contain quotes to support a position. Blanket statements don’t offer anyone a ‘real’ reason to get ‘inside’ the book. Where are quotes from the book that offer ‘real’ advice for adoptees? Where are the quotes that show us what the author has DONE for the betterment of adoption? The reviewers are NOT providing that service…perhaps because there are NONE in the book.
Review number seven;
Joan Wheeler’s memoir describes the pain of having been a …, October 14, 2015 By M.Euler
Joan Wheeler’s memoir describes the pain of having been a “victim” of a closed adoption. She highlights an experience that shaped the lives of many adoptees as they were funneled into the adoption system that was in place during that period of time in our society when it was common for all records to be sealed and those involved sworn to secrecy.
Being “found” by her birth family introduced Joan to a very emotional period. She experienced many ups and downs unable to come to terms with the secrecy and dishonesty that played into all her familial relationships.
Joan’s need to understand the rules she’d been living under provided the impetus for her to speak out against the system and write about her experience. She became active in the American Adoptees Congress finding encouragement and support from other adoptees and a community of professionals where her experiences were understood and validated.
Today she continues to speak out and write where she can make a difference and to ensure the future of open adoptions.
And now my comment;
Your initial post: Oct 14, 2015 11:42:46 AM PDT
a purchaser says:
Euler starts their review with… `memoir describes the pain of having been a “victim” of a closed adoption’To my mind the author’s wearing her badge of victim-hood is so tacky! Really now, there’s far more real victims out there in the world than one individual’s self-pity over being adopted. If the world of `closed adoption’ is such a horrible injustice than by all means get the issue to the law-makers of the country instead of writing a `tell-all-I-hate-you-all’ kind of book. If there is a need to change the way adoptions are done in this country, exposing and exploiting the adoptive and birth family members, as is done in this book, just isn’t the way to go about it! Would this reviewer want their family exposed like this? Would you?
I’ll give the author credit for being a good `dramatic’ writer, but she’s gone overboard on the rage and hate. So I have to ask…how does all that dramatic writing make adoption any better? Or fix it? How does anyone know that the tales that the author writes about are truthful? From things I’ve read and seen, there’s certainly more to the stories than are in this crappy book. How do things like what is in Chapter 7 `Her Reaction’, where the author details her hatred of the adoptive mother, going to fix adoption? How does what she said, at the end of Chapter 8 `The Secret is Out’… `Damn my parents! Damn my father! Damn my adoption!’… how is that outburst going to fix adoption?
Will adoption be `fixed’ because the author exposed two families, their names, addresses, pictures, personal documents and writes `dramatic’ chapters that have been disputed by others? What possible good is there, to any form of adoption, closed or open, by this author’s rampage against members of her birth family, including young children, who had nothing to do with her adoption? Or to the adoptive parents, who raised her, and then her children, paid for her 2 college degrees and put a roof over her head, to this very day?
From what I have read, the author `takes’ it upon herself, to judge whether others were or are living by her standards. How does that `fix’ adoption? The author details her `rages’ against teachers and students in her social work classes, because they `would not see adoption as she does…how does that `fix’ adoption?
The reviewer says … `Joan’s need to understand the rules she’d been living under provided the impetus for her to speak out against the system and write about her experience.’
Seems to me that the only `impetus’ this author has is the `compelling’ need to tell her story.
And the reviewer says… `speak out and write where she can make a difference’
I have not seen any significant `writings of this author that would make any difference. All I’ve seen is more hate and anger directed at anyone who is pro-adoption or who adopts. Reality is that people will always ADOPT, having a life-long tizzy fit over it does NOTHING to fix adoption.
And finally the reviewer says… `ensure the future of open adoptions.’
Open adoptions have their limitations and faults. Guardianship within a family is not a guarantee and in many cases unfeasible (as was the case with the author’s birth family). If this reviewer really UNDERSTOOD the author, and really read the book, the reviewer would know that the author is 100% anti-adoption! The author is an adoption abolitionist and has no desire to FIX ADOPTION. End of my comment
Here are the links to the previous reviews…