Birds of a feather…yep there are no shortages of angry adoptees that believe just like Joan does.
Come one, come all, I’ll answer you! While I can ‘understand’ your anger and betrayal, that doesn’t give you a blank check to use and abuse me and my family. Doesn’t matter to me, how many adoptees see Joan’s ‘point of view’ there are many others, that don’t. They may not speak out publicly; one has here on Amazon. Even if they don’t, that doesn’t mean they are not out there and believe like I do, that this book is worse than garbage. Nope this book shall never be a best-seller, so knock yourselves out NOW, cause there will not be another chance.
Here’s the latest, from another angry adoptee…
BUT FIRST AN UPDATE MAY 7, 2016…this review has been pulled by the reviewer. see this link for further info
AND NOW BACK TO THIS POST
Thinking of Adoption? Read this book. Format: Kindle Edition “Duped by Adoption”
By Heather Kuhn on September 2, 2015
This is an excellent book written by Joan Wheeler, an adoptee rights activist, who talks about all of the intricacies of her experiences with adoption. She takes her readers on a journey of being adopted, being found, and riding the waves of roller coasters in her reunion with her family. She discusses some real big difficulties with her reunion, and discusses some of the history of her family that affects her relationships.
This is not a fairy tale of adoption. While this is Joan’s personal experience, many other books and articles discuss some of the factors leading families to choose adoptions. And, for those who’ve reunited, they’ve found strange coincidences, history of orphanages in their families, other adoptions, and some beautiful coincidences. Joan tells her story, all the good and bad.
This is not for the weak of heart. Joan also goes into depth about the fraudulent practices of adoption, by falsifying birth certificates. While some proclaim that adoption has changed, the reality is that it has, it has become much more manipulative and coercive. In 1994, a movie, Baby Brokers ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109187/ ) came out about international adoption. However, there are also many other stories of parents since then who were coerced, as late as this past year, of parents who were tricked into signing their rights away. But, that is just from the parents perspective. The collateral damage is done to the child of that coercion and fraud, those who have internal (and external) battles between two opposing identities, two, sometimes, opposing sets of parents.
Some people who were adopted decide that they can’t choose, that both sets are their parents. Others claim loyalty to those who changed their diapers so for so long, still others return back to their parents, such as in the recent case of Chelsea O’Donnell, who left Rosie’s home to return to her mother, Deanna, when she was 18. Some choose to abandon all family ties, starting new and fresh. No matter which they choose, the journey is not easy.
Joan paints a picture of just some of the trials that being adopted pose. I hope that you will read her book and go on her journey with her. End
And now my comment…
Your initial post: Sep 6, 2015 12:01:32 PM PDT a purchaser says: (Amazon calls me that)
If someone is THINKING OF ADOPTION?…this is NOT the book you want to read! Actually, the author is not an adoptee rights activist at all but an adoption abolitionist! She likes to ‘shock’ people by relating her self-torturing tormented mind-fugues in the hopes that THAT would make people STOP adopting. The author views adoption as a great evil that must be removed from the globe! The entire book is colored by her hatred of being adopted, a warped victim mentality wherein she has been singled out by social injustices that manifest into some major self-delusions.
Does this reviewer, Heather Kuhn, a personal friend and fellow angry adoptee, of the author, know that Joan has already updated and REMOVED 4 chapters in which all those ‘depth about the fraudulent practices of adoption’ is discussed? The author has a great need to constantly rewrite ‘her’ story, adding and subtracting; e-book format seems to be her ticket to accomplish that. No, this book will not help any form of adoption ‘reform’ for it is strictly the author’s way of holding two families hostage, exploiting them, like a political football so that the author can gain ‘fame and fortune’; both seem to elude the author. Talk about collateral damage!
This reviewer says, ‘Joan tells her story, all the good and bad’ but she forgot about the ‘ugly’.
Like this ugly…location 5561 ‘I became detached, aching for freedom, went from screaming rages to crying and sobbing spells, I was argumentative, irritable, very sad and angry. I’d have terrible temper tantrums in which I threw around toys, often breaking them, or ripping up paintings or drawings my children made…I was out of control lost in overwhelming sad grief. Thoughts of death and suicide cycled through me for years, have anxiety attacks’
Or this ugly…location 6577 ‘I’m writing this book to expose all the hate and to put an end to it.’
Or this ugly…location 6709 ‘She (adoptive mother) yelled, we did all the work, your father and I, (referring to adoptive father), paid for the upkeep of his child. Did he ever think of that? He gave you up for adoption because he could not afford to take care of you. We took care of you. Now the tables are turned. In my advanced age, living on a fixed income, I look back and see that he had the benefit of a working wife for thirty-some years! I had to quit my job to stay home with you, his child.’
Or this ugly…location 7326 ‘I can’t ‘just get over it’. This was a witch-hunt. I am a victim of persecution because I am adopted. I demand restitution for my life as a legitimately-born half orphan duped by adoption’
So please bring along a barf bag if you ever do read this garbage for it will turn your stomach! For unless you enjoy reading about physical and mental illnesses, constant yelling, screaming, fault finding and whining, this book is NOT for you. There is NOTHING in this book that is remotely related to Rosie O’Donnell, Baby Brokers, or any other ‘hot-topic’ issue within the adoptee’s rights movement for open adoption records! It’s all about an angry adoptee who has no respect for her two families, birth and adopted…that’s collateral damage! end
NOW after my last blog post of reviewer #3 was posted on this blog, that night my comment, above, was REMOVED from the Amazon site! Coincidence? maybe maybe not. So, I re-posted my comment removing the sentence where I mention Heather is a personal friend of the author. Your initial post: Sep 10, 2015 4:30:26 AM PDT
I had also noted that Heather’s review was ‘adjusted’; the link to the movie she quote was gone. So that adjustment was done by Amazon who also must have removed my comment because I said the reviewer was a personal friend of the author. In both situations, we must have violated some guideline rules. Hopefully my comment will now pass the rules.
NOW, what I could NOT say on Amazon:
Crazies are as crazies do! There’s no storage of idiots in the world, no matter what the topic is, there are those that just will NOT accept the way the rest of the world is going. Generally speaking I don’t give a rat’s ass about certain topics, issues or pop-culture concerns. I’m also aware that ‘change’ happens over a long period of time, regardless of what the ‘majority’ thinks and feels. But, when it comes to me and my family I MUST take a stand against lies, abuse, hypocrites and using my family as a political football!
I also take note of the fact that, at the moment, there is ONE reviewer, who speaks the truth of this book, all is not lost! Current count then is 5 reviews; one that sees and tells of the bullshit of the book and four that tell it from the leader of their pack! Adoptees don’t rule, in the long run!
Speaking of this particular ‘review’, it shows me that desperation is beginning to set in, in Joan’s camp! It’s also obvious that her ‘friends’ have not purchased nor read the freaking book! I’d really be surprised to know if they spend their MONEY on the thing, but then again, why should they! These idiots all think alike and therefore they don’t have to purchase or read another’s book; it’s a given that it’s true, an adoptee speaks and it’s true! This is the same thing that happened when Joan’s first book was published…massive angry adoptees running to Joan’s support ATTACKING the birth siblings!
Today, we also have Twitter! Much can be done there! It does amaze me how adoptees are so insular, regardless of where they are religiously and politically. They are, at the core, hypocrites. Conservatives or Christians once an adoptee is attacked they forego their high-bound standards and revert back to bigotry and hypocrisies!
And today, versus 5 years ago, we, the birth siblings, have other avenues, such as AMAZON and blogs, long standing ones and a NEW one plus a Facebook page! In addition, Joan’s reputation has ‘suffered’ because many mainstream adoptees and adoptee-reformists have been distancing themselves from her. I have found over the years that the best defense against Joan is the use of her OWN WORDS. Once her words are put out there they speak for themselves.
So I am confident that the truth of the matter shall prevail. here are the other current reviews