I am placing each reviewer, and my comment to their review, in three separate posts, for they each are worth a post of their own. This introduction paragraph will be used for each one, as the necessary background needed if the posts are read out of order. Of course there are others, # 4 has already been posted and #5 will also have their post.
When I first saw and then purchased Joan’s latest remake of OTHER peoples’ lives, there were no reviews. It wasn’t until AFTER she saw that I quoted her, on a news site, that she announce it and promote it. Once she did that I went back to Amazon and placed a review, which subsequently was removed because I ‘know’ the author! My name was removed, via Amazon, on my comments to the reviewers to read ‘a purchaser’. That’s Amazon’s policy!
One of the three reviewers did NOT like my comment and removed her comment! Gosh what friends Joan has, they can’t take the heat! This reviewer really doesn’t like me!
Reviewer number three, my comment, then other developments and other thoughts
FORBIDDEN FEELINGS ON A FORBIDDEN TOPIC FINALLY OUT OF THE CLOSET 30 June 2015 By Lori Carangelo –
In “Forbidden Family,” the author skillfully recounts her personal post adoption reunion experience, highlighting the emotional abuse to most adoptees upon whom lifelong secrecy is imposed regarding their origins and pre-adoption pasts. For those not familiar with the fact that most adoptees have “legally” falsified birth certificates, Wheeler includes images of her original and “amended” (post-adoption) birth certificates and other comparisons.
Joan Wheeler takes the reader within, so that the reader feels the trauma she experienced. By doing so, the reader can understand that, not only in Wheeler’s case, but also in most post-adoption reunions, no matter how they are handled, adoptees are meeting strangers who had been in on the secret to varying degrees…A “birth” mother, and often birth siblings, have memory of the child up to the point of relinquishment. The adoptive parent(s) are provided some degree of pre-adoption history and may or may not share what they know, at their discretion. “Forbidden Family” supports the need for abolition of secrecy in the adoption process and not just 18 or more years after finalization — as well as the need for better methods of transferring legal custody that are truly “in child’s best interests.”.
–Lori Carangelo, adoption activist, president of Americans For Open Records (AmFOR), and author of “Chosen Children,” “The Ultimate Search Book,” and “The Adoption and Donor Conception Factbook.”
Gert’s comment to the review, as ‘a purchaser says’, which is what Amazon calls my public name.
This e-book, is a rehash of the first disaster (the actual living of the events), the second disaster (the first libelous book written by this author) and now this third disaster, because it contains additional hateful statements about those that have ‘passed on’. Why? Author states ‘dead people can’t sue’. It is certainly NOT written skillfully.
Feelings coming out of the closet? This book certainly is full of feelings of rage and hate, so perhaps those feelings, and the author, should go back into the closet. Afterall, she believes she’s been ‘duped by adoption’!
‘Highlighting the emotional abuse’ … abuse works both ways … it is learned and then assimulated and then passed on to others…abuse begets abuse. The way to stop the abuse is to break the cycle. So why does the author continue to punish others and herself? If she was emotionally abused, as she says, in this ‘docu-drama’, I did not find any explanation or indication that she actually ‘got any better’. Instead all I read is her continuation of the cycle of abuse. The use of descriptive narratives to flush out her story-lines by putting words and deeds into REAL people’s mouths and actions, is not very good means of activiting adoption reform.
This book is like ‘reality TV’ shows…it’s all made up for entertainment purposes…no one really takes these types of TV shows and books seriously. If the author truly wants reform and changes that she ought to write truthfully and professionally.
Gert here again; developments…
Like I said the above review and comment were removed, I can only assume via the author of the review, Lori. On August 13, 2015 I checked Amazon and found the following rewrite of Lori’s review. Obviously, Joan had read a comment I placed on a news site the day before, in which I said I was writing and posting everything that was on Amazon. It doesn’t take much imagination to see that Joan and Lori got together and Lori wrote a new one. I have no explanation about the date of June 29, when it didn’t appear until August 13. Oh the mysterious ways of the internet.
Lori and I have had previous correspondence where she stated that since the first book was still on Amazon it meant that the book was still available and I was wrong. Gosh, I can’t explain those inner workings and complexities and mysterious ways of things to someone who is already convince that they are right! Lori, like Joan, is a great believer in their own greatness! In any event, here is Lori’s second attempt.
Joan Wheeler takes the reader within, so that the reader feels the trauma she experienced. By doing so, the reader can understand that, not only in Wheeler’s case, but also in most post-adoption reunions, no matter how they are handled, adoptees are meeting strangers who had been in on the secret to varying degrees. A “birth” mother, and in Wheeler’s case, birth siblings, have memory of the child up to the point of relinquishment. The adoptive parent(s) are provided some degree of pre-adoption history and may or may not share what they know,at their discretion. “Forbidden Family” supports the need for abolition of secrecy in the adoption process and not just 18 or more years after finalization — as well as the need for better forms of legal custody, such as individualized legal guardianships, that are truly “in child’s best interests
CHOSEN CHILDREN – Billion Dollar Babies in America’s Failed Foster Care, Adoption & Prison SystemsTHE ADOPTION and DONOR CONCEPTION FACTBOOK: The Only Comprehensive Source of U.S. & Global Data on the Invisible Families of Adoptiom, Foster Care & Donor ConceptionTHE ADOPTION and DONOR CONCEPTION FACTBOOK: The Only Comprehensive Source of U.S. & Global Data on the Invisible Families of Adoptiom, Foster Care & Donor Conception
And Gert’s comment…a purchaser says: Your initial post: Aug 13, 2015 5:17:53 PM PDT
Nice sanitized rework! But still not an accurate depiction of the contents of the book! The ‘trauma’ that the author ‘experienced’ was, for the most part, one of her own making, ie. her failure to allow others to adopt if they choose to, and/or to think and do as they choose to. There is NO reason why the author should fabricate story-lines to fit her premise…that’s called ‘junk-science’. I know for fact that details in this book are not accurate, but totally from the author’s perceived ways that adoption ‘should/ought’ to be. Nice try, but no cigar!
This e-book, is still a rehash of the first disaster (the actual living of the events), the second disaster (the first libelous book written by this author) and now this third disaster, because it contains additional hateful statements about those that have ‘passed on’. Why? Author states at location 6577
‘If your father looks bad, it is his own fault, and yours too, for continuing hateful rumors. Uncle Mike died in 2002. Dead people cannot sue, nor can their heirs. Truth is a legal defense. I’m writing this book to expose all the hate and to put an end to it.’
Sounds like the author is ‘getting even’ with people for what? Her adoption? Does the author have a patent on truth? Her truth is NOT everyone else’s truth! ‘Facts are stubborn things’…President John Adams
Gert here again…now before we go any further I will give these blog posts are references to previous contacts I’ve had with Lori. Besides these posts I would strongly encourage you to look at Lori’s sites and see for yourselves what kind of positions she takes on the issue of adoption. Birds of a feather, flock together.
Now going back to Lori’s (2) reviews. Look at her ‘references’. Obviously there was some type of typo for her references were repeated in the second one. Beyond that, look at the differences between the first and the second reviews. In the first she ‘is adoption activist, president of Americans For Open Records (AmFOR), and author’, in the second she is what? Some typo error!
It is apparent that Lori and Joan will not allow me to over-shadow their parades. Well, guess what, I’m not going anywhere. I shall just continue on.
And of course Joan has ALREADY started rewriting and changing. In August she REMOVED 4 whole chapters and ADDED a rewrite of a forward…that shall be addressed as well.
end and here are the other current reviews