update Aug 31, 2015…
I am placing each reviewer, and my comment to their review, in three separate posts, for they each are worth a post of their own. This introduction paragraph will be used for each one, as the necessary background needed if the posts are read out of order.
When I first saw and then purchased Joan’s latest remake of OTHER peoples’ lives, there were no reviews. It wasn’t until AFTER she saw that I quoted her, on a news site, that she announce it and promote it. Once she did that I went back to Amazon and placed a review, which subsequently was removed because I ‘know’ the author! My name was removed, via Amazon, on my comments to the reviewers to read ‘a purchaser’. That’s Amazon’s policy! One of the three reviewers did NOT like my comment and removed her comment! Gosh what friends Joan has, they can’t take the heat!
Reviewer number two and my comment and other thoughts;
A personal account of the complications created by adoption and how these could be reduced EvelynR June 21, 2015
Joan Wheeler has produced an account of her personal experience of adoption separation. Although hers was a rather unusual family situation, she was adopted as a baby and, as with all adopted people, she was issued with a new birth certificate, which stated that her adoptive parents were her actual and only parents. Joan describes the complications and challenges of being a member of several families and the reader follows her journey of self-exploration, through her relationships with the many people to whom she is related in different ways. Joan concludes by outlining the ways in which she feels that adoptions should be conducted more honestly, in order to minimise the harm caused to those who experience separation from family members in this way. It is important for the world to hear from those with a personal experience of adoption to dispel the myths which are, sadly, so readily accepted in many parts of the world.
Gert’s reply…under comments… ‘a purchaser says’
No one lives in a vacuum, with or without an original birth certificate. The author’s family was not unusual. I’m sure many would agree it is not in good taste to exploit families, with personal biases, in order to get changes into adoption. This revised book, as with the first version, is not about her self-exploration but about the work that needs to be done on the ‘self’.
The author’s life is NOT about ‘adoption separation’, let alone reform and OBCs, for if that was true, she would not have waited until chapter 52 to put out her ‘recommendations for change’; it would have been chapter ONE!
This piece of garbage is self-serving. As an example here, at location 6810 chapter 48 Elderly Parents, is what Joan writes…
‘when I read Dad’s death notice in the newspaper, I was hurt to see that my name was left out. That was just typical of the mindset of these people acting out of spite….Whether or not it was his choice to leave my name out of his death notice I will never know.’
The truth is that the ‘father’ removed the author from his pre-arranged papers in 2009 for his own reasons; family members didn’t knew until he died. Joan’s retelling is from her ‘perspective’, always and as in all families, EVERYONE has a perspective and voice. Finally, adoption has NOTHING to do with the subject of the book. The subject of the book is about someone believing they were ‘duped’.
My 2nd comment…
Well the author decided to update the ebook…apparently she doesn’t like chapters 49, 50, 51 and 52. As I said in previous comment chapter 52 was where the author gives her ‘recommendations for change’ and I suggested it should have been chapter 1 if she was promoting adoption reform! Guess she isn’t for reform after all…just wants to tell us all about her terrible life as an adoptee and a horrible life in reunion with birth family! But wait! she’ll be back! She rewrite those chapters, for now, with e-book, she can rewrite the ‘truth’ as many times as she will!
Gert here again… what I couldn’t say on Amazon.
It really is quite a stupid title for a book! ‘an adoptee, duped by adoption’! Just because Joan feels and believes that she was ‘duped’ doesn’t mean that everyone else has been or is! Nor does it mean that adoption is a fraud. But to hear Joan, and believe me the adoptive and birth families have HEARD Joan, you would think that the human race, around the globe, have all by duped, conned, hoodwinked and more by the INSTITUTION OF ADOPTION!
Oh sure, no system is perfect, shit happens, terrible shit happens, but get real! Joan is such a drama queen! But you know…MAINSTREAM adoptees don’t INVITE Joan and her garbage books on their circuits! This new improved piece of shit is NOT on any adoptee reading list. It is NOT on any adoptee WRITTEN book list and there are A LOT of them out there today. No, mainstream adoptee rights reformers and activists don’t want Joan around them. Joan is so out of step with the world not many of her own kind want her around them.
A really strange thing is, how fascinated Joan is with her ‘baby’ pictures! Look at the covers of the two books. They can be found on the ‘about’ page on the blog and on the Facebook page, of the same title; ‘The life and times of Joan M Wheeler; duped by adoption, a book study’
In the first book her eyes are closed. Long after that first book was pulled from publication, because Joan violated her contract with the publisher that she would not publish libel and other things, but she did! I had noticed that she changed her ‘icon’ in various places and started to use another ‘snap shot’ of herself as that infant…with eyes OPENED. You will note that I cropped the cover picture of the second book because her opened eyes are too ‘creepy’, period!
Joan could be a ‘changeling’ or a ‘bad seed’…such things do happen. None of the other four siblings born to the same parents have those creepy eyes! Genetics aside, Joan was NOT raised by the birth family. She was raised by a strange family and all her behaviors were LEARNED behaviors. No one in the birth family behaves as Joan does!
Was does EvelynR say that Joan had ‘a rather unusual family situation’? I really don’t get that! There was NOTHING unusual…death of a parent happens quite often and children are placed into adoption for that and many other reasons. It is also not so unusual for ‘shirt-tail’ relations, generations removed, to have mingled and married within close ‘genetic’ relationships and/or to know the existence and identity of a child’s parentage! Joan is only UNIQUE in her own mind!
EvelynR also said ‘the complications and challenges of being a member of several families’. There were only TWO families; the birth and adoptive families. It was the members of those two families that had ‘the complications and challenges’ when dealing WITH Joan, not the other way around! Joan was a problem child within the adoptive family that had nothing to do with the birth family. It was Joan’s own behaviors and her interferences and various back-stabbings, that caused ‘complications’ that, when told by Joan, became only those DONE by others and NOT by Joan herself. Seems all so one-sided, don’t you think? Joan is always the poor misunderstood child/victim at the raw end of the whip that everyone whipped her with! Give me a break!
‘the reader follows her journey of self-exploration’ EvelynR said of the book! Hate to break it to you Evelyn and others, but his book is not about ‘self-exploration’. It’s a detailed description of the neurosis and damaged brain-cells of Joan and how she ‘goes after everyone who hurt her or whom she hates’.
Case in point, why did Dad remove Joan from his pre-prepared end of life papers? Because Joan finally went over the line of decency and respect for her ‘father’! Joan’s take on it, how she tells it, is NOT the way it happened. In 2009 she attempted to con Dad into paying for her car repairs and to publish the book. He said NO to the car repairs, that was her car not his, and that he didn’t NEED her help any longer. He had read a draft of a long-complicated ‘social-work assessment’ (which she leaves out of this ebook) in which she INSULTED Dad’s heritage and religion! Yes, he kicked her out of his house, again, because each time someone disagrees with Joan, she MUST argue with them. Dad didn’t allow arguing, he had enough of Joan’s conning and yelling. Dad told her ‘call before you come over again’. In 2011, she didn’t call before coming over…but that’s another tale, for another time. It was AFTER he kicked her out that Dad CHANGED his papers and no one, not even his wife knew what he did, until he died and they saw his papers.
But in this piece of garbage, Joan rants and raves, jumping to conclusions, about how it was us, the birth sisters, who ‘took’ her name off Dad’s obit. She gave us powers we didn’t have! So expanding on what I quoted in my original comment above… Location 6807
‘When I read Dad’s death notice in the newspaper, I was hurt to see that my name was left out. That was just typical of the mindset of these people acting out of spite. So I purchased a death notice of my own. This man was my father and I was his daughter. No amount of anger toward me, or bickering over me not being his legal daughter at the time of his death, could change the fact that he was my father. Whether or not it was his choice to leave my name out of his death notice I will never know.’
Contrary to what Joan says, she DOES read our blogs and makes false assumptions about ourselves, other family members and actual events. Again, contrary to what Joan says, she NEVER was a full-time care-giver to Dad and step-mom, she was NOT privy to ANYTHING, no one in the birth family wanted her around. It certainly wasn’t the birth sisters, who removed Joan’s name from the obit! But in Joan’s mind we did and therefore it is a FACT and she printed it! That folks is called LIBEL!
I am including here a link to a post that I wrote back when Dad died. It’s details speak for themselves and of course Joan ‘read’ this back then. It is on Ruth’s blog because I did not have my own blog at the time.
And finally, EvelynR says;
‘It is important for the world to hear from those with a personal experience of adoption to dispel the myths which are, sadly, so readily accepted in many parts of the world.’
While that may be true, it will NOT be found in this piece of shit work. The mind of Joan M Wheeler does NOTHING to help dispel any myths, it only CONFIRMS that her mind is diseased, that she puts HER view upon others and her motives are purely selfish and revengeful.