update August 31, 2015
seems that the author has updated her e-book, no surprise there, she’s always updating the ‘truth’…anyway…I want to update my posts as I go along…see my latest ‘comment’ on the end of my first comment.
As I have stated, but if you have not seen it, according to Amazon’s policy, I am NOT allowed to ‘review’ the garbage book of Joan M Wheeler, because, according to my ‘purchases’ I am ‘known’ to the author! Dah! I’m in the dam book but I can’t write a review! And my name can NOT be published. So Amazon gave me a name; ‘a purchaser’. So that at least gives me the assumption that I am a ‘verified purchaser’ even though they won’t allow me to speak via my own name! So be it. I have many other avenues to speak my mind about Joan’s lies. Yes, for the record I have purchased the e-book and so have others in the family. Over time, this blog and the Facebook page shall get to the ‘guts’ of the book. For now I’m concentrating on reviews and working up many blog entries.
In any event, imagine my surprise on the morning of, 22 August 2015, when I checked Amazon and saw a review published the day before! This is review #4.
Just finished…barely By Patti G. Weber on August 21, 2015
This review is from: Forbidden Family: My Life as an Adoptee Duped by Adoption (Kindle Edition)
While the book was somewhat informative, it is the story of one woman’s reunion experience. If you are looking for a feel good book. This is not it. While I respect the author’s feelings because they are hers, the book comes across as being very bitter, and the author as a somewhat unlikeable victim. While I feel somewhat sorry for the author, I think she judged a lot of what happened to her in the early 1950s /60s by the standards of the 70s 80s 90s and even up to now. Adoption laws and feelings about adoption, contrary to her observations, have changed since she was adopted in 1956, and even since she was “found” in 1974. I think the biggest sadness in this book is not how she was “wronged by everyone” but that she never seems to understand her adoptive parents and the decisions they made in the 50s and 60s and respect those feelings and decisions just like she expects everyone to respect hers. I came away from reading the book feeling angry. Adoption has touched my life, and it hasn’t always been in a positive way, but this book is a horror story written by a victim who refuses to see the positive side of any part of her life.
After thinking about and sharing it with others on Facebook, I wrote the following comment on Amazon.
Your initial post: Aug 22, 2015 8:25:26 AM PDT
a purchaser says:
Well it’s about time that someone wrote an objective review that is spot on! Yes, the `sadness’ of this book is in the author’s exploitation of both sets of parents and families, as well as the one-sidedness of the author’s views, anger, hate and lack of compassion. Narcissistic personality comes to mind; it’s all about them! A reader SHOULD be angry after reading this piece of garbage. It never should have been written or published a second time. The author falsely believes that `her’ victimhood will prevent others from adopting. The only positive side of the author’s life is that she CAN get this garbage published!
And my updated comment on Aug 31, 2015…
Be aware that the author has began to ‘rewrite’ her ‘truth’ again! Apparently doesn’t like the initial responses she’s gotten so she took out chapters 49, 50, 51, 52. Reading this book, with the potential of having rewrite after rewrite, would make anyone angry! Which version of the truth can anyone believe, there’s many versions of it! I can’t wait to see what she updates on those chapters when she’s done rewriting them….again.
Now…What I could not say on Amazon!
Yes, it is refreshing and ‘about time’ that someone, NOT part of Joan’s click of angry adoptees or those that she has sucked into her charming personality BS, has spoken truthfully about the contents of the book!
The book is not fully truthful, for it is written wholly by ONE person and that person’s view of everything and everyone, and in addition, who has it out for everyone who doesn’t think like her. So her story of her reunion, without input from others, is not a true story.
Yes the book is not a feel good one. I, and others, who have been her victim don’t ‘respect’ the author’s feelings. We did that once, twice, three times and you know what?… we all got shafted, wronged and hurt, over and over again. The author is bitter, she’s full of hate. Yes she is never ‘likeable’, once you cross her. Many male friends have found that out the hard way. She’s a user. I know of several ‘adoptees’ that have come forth with horror stories of their own dealings with Joan. No one in the birth family feels sorry for Joan. We all gave her everything, all our love and feelings, and she not only step on us; she used us and libeled us now TWICE.
It doesn’t matter what time period, of adoption laws, Joan argues against, when it comes to adoption and its laws. She wants to abolish adoption everywhere! Joan does not recognize any other authorities beyond her own! She is, amongst other things, a narcissistic, it’s all about her and her view; don’t confuse her with facts, they don’t exist to her.
She has a persecution complex, so why would she ever consider the feelings of others? Everyone is out to get her! Sadness oh yes! She is pathetic.
Patti G. Weber’s statement…‘this book is a horror story written by a victim who refuses to see the positive side of any part of her life.’…hits it right to the CORE of the matter of Joan M Wheeler. Joan has no life because she has no positive aspect in her life. She rejects anything ‘divine’. She rejects anything that doesn’t or anyone who doesn’t CONFORM to her views. Period! Thank you Patti G. Weber.
UPDATE April 30, 2016
A couple of days ago I noticed that my two comments were deleted and there was a new one from Dana Seilhan, a well known crude loud mouth that always goes after Joan’s sisters and any one who does not accept the party line that adoptees are victims!
Anyway…here are the ‘newest’ comments on this review.
Dana Seilhan April 28, 2016
Um, right and wrong aren’t measured by what year it is. The cold hard fact is that people treated this woman like crap simply because she was adopted, something she had never asked for in the first place, and she has every right to be angry. You sound like you think you have presented an original argument. You haven’t. It’s the same cowardly old crap trotted out by every person who feels uncomfortable with someone else expressing negative feelings. That says a hell of a lot more about you than it ever will about Joan. Maybe you should go talk with a therapist about it. And consider this: The crap you spewed in this “review” is likely part of the reason she IS bitter. You would be too if all you ever caught from people was crap. And it’s not enough for someone to do some nice things for you sometimes if they’re just going to turn around and abuse you right afterward.
gert mcqueen April 29, 2016
Was Dana in the author’s life to know first-hand that she was mistreated because she was an adoptee? Second hand information, expressed either verbally or written, is considered hear-say. The author’s own speculations, wondering about and second-guessing what others thought or did or would do, as she presents in the book, is also a form of hear-say. The author’s adoption had nothing to do with her relationships in either the birth or adoptive families. It was the author’s OWN behaviors to others, which of course she does not take responsibility for, were what created certain negative outcomes. If the author, and others, believe that the author had a lot of CRAP thrown at her, and that the author is entitled to be bitter, then those beliefs only enhances the views of others, like this reviewer (Patti Weber), who see the author as a life-long victim of her own designs. Patti’s is an objective review! The `sadness’ of this book is in the author’s one-sided views, anger, hate and lack of compassion. A reader SHOULD be angry after reading this piece of garbage. The author seems to believe that `her’ victimhood will prevent others from adopting.
Ruth Pace says: April 29, 2016
Dana says “right and wrong aren’t measured by what year it is.” – I don’t think the reviewer Patti was referring to right and wrong, but referring to something that I myself noted on my blog. That social circumstances were not the same in the 1950’s as they are today. More specifically – the problem of infant and child care issues. There were no day care centers in the 50’s as we have now. Social Services, particularly public assistance, was also not the same as we have now. The author’s father HAD to go to work to earn money to feed and clothe his children. Bringing an infant to work with him was not a viable option. Staying home was out of the question. What was he supposed to do with a three month old infant, a three year old toddler and a five year old child during the day while he was at work? The older two children, 8 and 9 years of age were in school, but does Dana recommend that the author’s father to have left her lying in a crib unattended for more than 8 hours a day with no one to watch her except a 3 year old and a 5 year old?The author’s father did the best he could – his parents were elderly – his father was an amputee (one leg), was not able to care for 2 small children and an infant. His wife worked out of the home. The author’s father’s landlord and landlady also could not “babysit” every day while he worked, nor was any neighbor. Other relatives could not do it either. So the author’s father did the best thing he could – he relinquished the infant for adoption. If Dana wants to talk about right and wrong – I think leaving a 3 month old in a crib UNATTENDED, hungry, sitting in a dirty diaper all day is wrong, wrong, wrong.
end and here is the other reviews…