(1 of 3) What ‘duped by adoption’ Joan M Wheeler’s ‘friends’ have to say about her latest piece of garbage; reviewer number one. (1 of 3) #1 Fred Tomasello

update Aug 31, 2015…

seems that the author has updated her e-book, no surprise there, she’s always updating the ‘truth’…anyway…I want to update my posts as I go along…see my latest ‘comment’ on the end of my first comment.

I am placing each reviewer, and my comment to their review, in three separate posts, for they each are worth of a post of their own. This introduction paragraph will be used for each one, as the necessary background needed if the posts are read out of order.

When I first saw and then purchased Joan’s latest remake of OTHER peoples’ lives, there were no reviews. It wasn’t until AFTER she saw that I quoted her, on a news site, that she announce it and promote it. Once she did that I went back to Amazon and placed a review, which subsequently was removed because I ‘know’ the author! My name was removed, via Amazon, on my comments to the reviewers to read ‘a purchaser’. That’s Amazon’s policy! One of the three reviewers did NOT like my comment and removed her comment! Gosh what friends Joan has, they can’t take the heat!

Reviewer number one and my answer;

Think you know adoption? Fred Tomasello Jr. June 19, 2015

 “Nobody thought about it. We just wanted a child.” The “it” is adoption. These are the words Joan Wheeler’s adoptive mother related to her years later and they equal the preconceived ideas about adoption held by me and millions of others.

A phone call at age 18 starts the “reunion” and carries the reader on an emotional roller-coaster that continues for decades. The raw, descriptive language connects as secrets and family nuances are revealed. Every page is riveting and the candid details are gut wrenching. Long years of discovery, rejection, introspection, research, maturity and courage merge Joan’s memoir into a laser light focusing on the pure importance of truth.

While undergoing years of severe emotional stress, I am amazed that Ms. Wheeler was miraculously able to write cogently about her families. Her clarity and conclusions enhanced my understanding of adoption. As Joan’s natural father admitted years later, “But if I had education, none of this would have happened.”

Gert’s reply…under comments… ‘a purchaser says’

 Think you know adoption? Not all adoptions are equal! Adoption isn’t a ‘one-size fits all’. I also have adopted! So YES I do know about adoption!

This garbage book, is NOT a work of fiction! The author writes about REAL people, from ONLY her, an adoptee’s, perspective who believes she’s been ‘duped by adoption’. The result is nothing short of exploitation of the REAL people the author writes about.

“Every page is riveting and the candid details are gut wrenching.”

Stop with the ‘drama writing’ critique! This is not a paper for review in the ‘writers’ guild. Joan’s style is FULL of that kind of sensationalism! None of which portrays reality nor the PEOPLE she’s writing about.

Let’s see about ‘education’? At location 7089 the author says…

‘It would have been better if my natural family (and adoptive family) supported me in counseling and if they went to counseling too. They refused to read articles and books about adoption psychology or attend support groups or conferences. Not one single person in my natural family ever picked up a book about adoption psychology or an adoptee’s memoir.’

This book/counseling whining stuff as well as this false statement …”But if I had education, none of this would have happened.” … and other kinds of nonsense are just red herrings that the author throws around when others don’t ‘do her bidding’.

I was educated, during the process of adopting, didn’t listen her dire warnings, for she was not part of the process; she punished me. You think you know adoption? Think again.


Wow! did you know that an author can update an ebook and change or eliminate things? I just got a update on this book and guess what? So far I’ve noted that there is a new ‘forward’ that wasn’t before AND that the book ends at chap 48 instead of 52! So the book ends at location 6984 but I had given reference 7089 and quoted the author about ‘education’! Perhaps the author didn’t like me quoting her? Rest assure I do have a copy of the ORIGINAL, and as time perhaps I shall continue commenting.

Gert here again…what I couldn’t say on Amazon.

It amazes me that people fall for Joan’s BS! Don’t people think while they are reading? Is there no critical thinking or questioning? Obviously NOT. Joan seems to believe that if people READ about adoption they would NOT adopt! That is wrong and dangerous thinking. In Joan’s retelling of ‘her’ life, she puts words into other people’s mouths; that’s called ‘creative writing’. Fred ought to know that! He is only one of many that have been ‘conned’ by Joan’s ‘charming’ personality and imaginative memories.

Joan hates being adopted and yet within a few short years, after reunion, she poisoned every relationship, in the birth family, for she NEVER allows anyone to think for themselves. She was so ‘hurt’ when the father that ‘gave her up into adoption’ ADOPTED a step-child! Joan also was ‘hurt’ when I and second husband adopted my son, because of the change in his birth-certificate.

Joan does NOT care about anyone’s circumstances behind the REASONS why they are adopting. Joan is an adoption abolitionist. She has a victim mentality and she puts that spin on each and every encounter. Joan refuses to understand that life isn’t the way any of us want it to be. Life is what happens, period.

Our father did what he had to do at the time that his wife, my and Joan’s mother, died. No amount of kicking the ‘dead horse’ and whining about it is ever going to change the fact that Dad HAD ALL THE KNOWLEDGE AND EDUCATION he needed to make that decision he made in 1956. Dad also knew what he was doing when he adopted one of his step-children. Why, because the child wanted him and not her birth father!

And there’s something called ‘child support’. Not all fathers pay it! Some step-fathers (mothers) will NOT adopt because if they do, the child will LOSE the Social Security death benefit! Joan doesn’t care about any of that.

I and my second husband had all the education and knowledge we needed when we adopted. We were investigated and gee…we passed! My children were teenagers, spoke with the judge, and had to give their own permission. None of that mattered to Joan!

My children’s father did NOT want to pay the support monies. He wanted his children adopted! None of that was or is Joan’s business. But because I would NOT listen to her and refused her contact with my minor children for her interference in my family, she punished me via calling two false child abuse reports against me.

So because she is adopted, she has the right to write two books of lies? She cares not of the damage she has done to MANY people in both the adoptive and birth families. She cares only about herself; the ADOPTEE.

NO book on adoption would have STOPPED Joan from being placed into adoption in 1956. Nor would a book have STOPPED our father from adopting a step-child in the 1970s. Nor would a book have STOPPED me and husband from adopting my child/his step-child in 1981. Joan needs to get a book education herself and leave the rest of the world alone. Oh wait! She has two college degrees! Never had any significant job in or out of ‘social-work’ but she’s an expert on everyone else’s lives and whether or not they choose to adopt.


here are the other current 4 reviews and more

2) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/what-duped-by-adoption-joan-m-wheelers-friends-have-to-say-about-her-

3) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/09/3-of-3-what-duped-by-adoption-joan-m-wheelers-friends-have-to-say-

4) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/08/22/i-interrupt-my-sequence-of-3-reviews-and-my-comments-to-bring-you-

5) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/13/review-number-five-5-of-joan-m-wheelers-garbage-e-book-forbidden-

6) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/09/18/review-six-6-of-forbidden-family-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption-by-joan-m-wheeler/

7) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/10/22/review-7-of-joan-m-wheelers-revised-edition-of-her-garbage-book-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption-says-the-book-describes-the-pain-of-being-a-victim/

8)  https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/12/01/review-number-eight-8-of-my-life-as-an-adoptee-duped-by-adoption/

9)   https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2015/12/31/no-doubt-about-it-joan-m-wheelers-latest-revision-of-forbidden-family-duped-by-adoption-is-an-eye-opening-book-she-is-her-own-worst-enemy-and-she-doesnt-even-k/

10)  https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/03/review-10-of-joan-m-wheelers-garbage-book-people-do-see-behind-her-curtain/

11)   https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/04/review-11of-joan-m-wheelers-garbage-book-not-everyone-is-duped/

12) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/26/review-12-or-is-it-11-of-joans-disgusting-book-duped-by-adoption/

13) https://gertmcqueen2.wordpress.com/2016/01/26/review-13-for-duped-by-adoption-adoption-a-view-from-the-other-side/


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